Images and Illusions
by AmyNW
Summary: Modern. The story of Darcy’s mother and the romance between his parents, and how she later became "Lady Catherine." Of all my stories, this is my favorite, so please read and review! COMPLETE.
1. Billy: Chapter 1

"**Images and Illusions" (I&I) is the fifth story in my "Lofty Dreams" series. **In case you haven't read it, "Lofty Dreams" is a P&P canon story in which Darcy and Elizabeth are high school seniors. The series also includes two vignettes, "Saturday, Sunday" and "The Picnic," that retell part of "Lofty Dreams" from Will's POV, and a sequel, "Touch Me Again," set ten years later. The first three are already completed and available on this site, and the fourth is currently being posted.

**I&I is the story of Marletta, the mother of Lofty Dream's Darcy. She served as the Lady Catherine character in my earlier tales**, and I became fascinated to explore how she came to be that way. The story spans more than thirty years, from her courtship with Darcy's father to the last days of her life. The story has 29 chapters and an epilogue, and overlaps with the P&P canon story beginning in chapter 23. The last few chapters of I&I overlap with "Touch Me Again."

**This is very much a love story, and the romance is that of Darcy's parents.** Darcy gets his romantic heroism naturally—from his dad! However, please be advised that Marletta's life is not an easy one and some of the chapters are very traumatic.

**Of all my stories, this is my favorite, because it is the most emotionally absorbing, so I'd love to hear what you think. Please, please, please review!**

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**IMAGES AND ILLUSIONS**

**Part I: Billy**

**Part II: Will**

**Part III:Gavin**

**Part IV:George**

**Part V:Jenny**

**Part VI:Liz**

**Part VII:Marletta**

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**Part I: Billy**

**Present Day**

More darkness.

That was Marletta's first reaction to her doctor's words. Her life had been mostly darkness, hidden fears, secrets kept tucked away, pain scabbed over so it can no longer be felt.

There had been exceptions, of course. Marriage and motherhood had provided her with many moments of joy. Yet because she tried so hard to keep the darkness tamped down, even during the best of times she wasn't completely happy. She was always afraid that it was a dream, from which she'd wake up and the nightmare would begin again. And so it had.

When had the dream begun? There was no question in her mind. It was when Billy walked into her life.

**Chapter 1: May, mid-1980's**

"Come on, Billy's a really nice guy. I think you'll like him," said Susan, Marletta Cole's best friend and roommate, as she tried to convince her to accept a blind date to Susan's cousin's wedding.

Susan had never been a matchmaker before. In fact, one of the things Marletta appreciated about Susan was that their friendship didn't revolve around relationships with men.

That all changed when Susan turned thirty the previous fall. Although Marletta continued to have no interest in marriage, singleness suddenly became anathema to Susan. And since nothing had worked out with the church-going men, limited in number that they were, that her family was always trying to set her up with, she was determined to find a husband on her own.

Of course, Susan decided to go after someone entirely different from her family's choices for her, in the person of a hotshot young lawyer named Marcus Henderson.

Marletta didn't really like Marcus. He seemed like a man who spent too many hours at the gym and too much time primping in front of a mirror. She knew, however, that his smooth talk and bad boy charm were part of his appeal to Susan. She thought her friend was naïve in thinking Marcus would marry her, but Susan was too infatuated to listen.

In the past, Susan had never pressed Marletta about her love life. She accepted the image Marletta presented at face value—that of a woman too driven to succeed to have much time for romance. No longer. Being in love, Susan wanted her friend to experience the same joy. She wanted to find a man as perfect for Marletta as she thought she had found for herself.

The opportunity came with Susan's cousin Andrea's wedding. Marletta was invited, of course. Since she was estranged from her family, she spent most of her holidays with Susan's large extended clan, who had adopted Marletta as one of their own.

The invitation came with one caveat. "You can't come alone," Susan declared.

"Since when do I need a date to do something with your family?"

"This isn't just any old thing! This is a wedding! You're supposed to have a date."

Marletta shook her head. "I don't need a date. I know most of your relatives. I'll be fine."

Susan pleaded with her. "I really want to introduce you to Marcus' friend Billy. I think you'll really like him. Do it for me, please?"

Eventually Marletta gave in. Susan had given her so much in friendship and support, and asked so little from her. Certainly she could do this one thing for her.

She rode to the afternoon wedding with Susan and Marcus, who explained that Billy had a lot of errands to run that morning and would meet them there.

Billy seemed to be a no-show until the minute the wedding music started. Marcus and Susan moved aside to let a young man in a slightly too big, rumpled suit and stained shirt slip into the pew beside Marletta. "I'm so sorry," he said, wiping perspiration from his forehead with a handkerchief. He held out his hand to her. "I'm Billy Darcy. You must be Marletta."

Meticulously neat and always punctual, Marletta barely touched his hand and then turned her attention forward. This was a man who Susan thought she'd like? She must be joking.

Like most weddings, this one included beautiful music, a lovely bride, and a cute ring bearer and flower girl. Marletta wasn't much into weddings, though, given her skepticism about marriage as an institution. Only her affection for Susan's family brought her there today.

As soon as the ceremony ended, Marcus asked Billy what had happened. His friend shook his head and chuckled. "This was one of those days when nothing went right. All my good suits were at the dry cleaners and they were supposed to be ready yesterday. But they weren't even ready when I went to pick them up this morning. I raced home, put on an old suit, and came out to find I had a flat tire. AAA said it would be an hour before they could tow it, so I changed to the donut myself, messed up my shirt, took it to a tire shop, had to wait there for an hour, and had no time to come home and change or I'd miss the wedding!"

He said all of this in less than a minute, without stopping to take a breath. He finally exhaled and turned again to her. "I apologize again, Marletta. I was really looking forward to today. I didn't want to be late."

Marletta nodded, unsure whether or not to absolve him. As they walked to the back of the church to stand in the receiving line, she decided that at least she should check him out first. Billy was about six feet tall, which was good. At 5'9", Marletta hated looking down on men. However, it was hard to tell much about his build in the suit he was wearing. Billy's complexion was milk chocolate with a copper undertone. He wore his hair short and had a thin, neatly trimmed moustache. He wasn't as handsome as Marcus, but he wasn't bad looking.

Billy offered warm congratulations to the bride and groom and their parents, as though he had known them for years and could care less that at the moment, his attire was less than ideal. Fortunately, he didn't do anything possessive, such as place his hand on her arm, so she could act as though she weren't with him.

The reception was held in the basement fellowship hall of the church, a large, open room with white walls and pale gray tiled floors. Covered buffet burners and sternos were lined up on several tables near a side wall. In the middle of the room, four rows of three extra-long tables were adorned with decorative paper tablecloths and floral centerpieces.

After they found seats, Susan excused herself and said that she was going to introduce Marcus to her various relatives. "Now you two can get to know each other," she added with a teasing grin.

When they were alone, Billy turned to her. "Marletta, let me apologize again—"

"Twice is enough," she replied frostily.

Billy looked briefly taken aback, and then he smiled. "I almost apologized for apologizing again, but I caught myself in time."

Inadvertently, Marletta found herself thawing a little. What a smile he had! Bright, even white teeth, small dimples in the corners of his mouth, and a playful twinkle in his eyes. She might have to change her assessment that Marcus was better looking.

"So, Susan tells me that you and she have known each other for a long time. Since junior high, right?"

"Yes." The smile hadn't melted her enough to make her friendly.

"How did you become friends?"

"We were both brainiacs," she murmured.

"I guess that does draw kids together in junior high. Nerds have to stick together."

"I wasn't a nerd," she said sharply.

"I wasn't aware there was a difference between nerds and brainiacs, but I guess I was wrong. I would apologize again, but that gets me into trouble, too."

There was laughter in Billy's eyes as he said this. Marletta almost smiled, but stopped herself. He was another smooth talker, just like Marcus.

"I'll confess," he went on. "I was a nerd or a brainiac or whatever you want to call it in junior high. The only thing that saved me from being a complete social outcast was that I was good at sports."

Marletta didn't respond, so Billy went on. "Susan said that you're a CPA."

She nodded.

"How do you like your work?"

"Pays the bills."

"Is that why you chose it?"

"Among other reasons." Feeling respected by people in important positions was another. And creating order out of mess—that was probably the biggest reason. In one area of life, she had control.

"I can see that. I suppose there are many reasons why I chose the law. One of the things I like the most is trying to make something that's really gone wrong better. Not that it always works out that way."

This chatty man wasn't getting it, so Marletta began to look around the room. Several people had lined up at a small round table in the corner to get cups of punch.

Billy wasn't deterred, however. "Are you from Meryton originally?"

She sighed. "Yes."

"Me, too. Where'd you grow up?"

"Longbourn City."

"I should have guessed that, since you grew up with Susan. I'm from Netherfield Park."

"So I guess that receptions in church basements with paper tablecloths are not your style."

Billy grinned and counted on his fingers. "A fifteen-word sentence! That's the most you've said to me yet!"

Marletta sighed again, and Billy's expression grew more serious. "Marletta, help me out. Either you're really shy, or you just don't like me. If you let me know which it is, I'll know how to react."

"I'm not shy."

"So you don't like me. That's fine. It happens. I know you know other people here. Would you like to sit somewhere else, or do you want me to move?"

Faced with his candidness, Marletta suddenly felt a little sorry for Billy. "I didn't say I didn't like you."

"Oh. Okay. Maybe it's something else. Maybe you're not feeling well. If that's the case, may I offer you a ride home?"

She didn't answer. Billy smiled again. "Tell you what. I'm going to get some punch for us. Why don't you think about it and let me know what you want to do. Whatever you decide is fine with me. I mean that."

As soon as he walked away, Susan slid into the seat he had vacated. She grinned and squeezed Marletta's arm. "How's it going? What do you think of him?"

"He's okay."

Susan gave her an annoyed look. "You are talking to him, aren't you?"

"He can carry on a conversation just fine all by himself."

"I don't believe you, Marletta! Don't play that junk here!"

Marletta was shocked by the anger in her normally easy-going friend's voice. "What do you mean?"

"It's one thing to get all sedity with some dude trying to pick you up in a club, but don't do that here. Not at my cousin's wedding and with Marcus' best friend. You're being rude and I don't appreciate it!"

Marletta looked down at her manicured nails and tried to control her temper. Anger was her default mode, but she knew Susan was right. When she was calmer, she looked back at Susan. "You're right, and I'm sorry. I'll give him a chance."

"Thank you."

As Susan stood, Marletta looked up and saw Billy there, holding two cups of punch. She wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there or how much he had heard.

When Billy sat down, Marletta said, ""Let me apologize this time. I haven't been a very considerate date."

Billy smiled. "You're forgiven. Are we finally going to have a two-way conversation?"

He really did have a beautiful smile, and Marletta couldn't help but smile back. Before she could answer, however, someone stood to announce the wedding party's entrance, and Susan and Marcus returned to their seats.

The buffet-style dinner included all the foods Marletta was used to eating during holidays at Susan's: baked chicken, honey-glazed ham, collard greens, sweet potatoes, black-eyed peas and dirty rice, homemade macaroni and cheese, and cornbread.

Marletta looked at Billy. "I guess this is new for you, huh?"

"Why's that?" Susan asked.

"Marletta seems to think that because I'm from Netherfield Park, I grew up eating caviar," Billy said. From his good-humored expression, she could tell he was teasing her.

Marcus laughed. "Marletta, Billy here's a good old boy! Just one generation removed from sharecroppers."

"Well, not quite," Billy said. "But yeah, my parents are from the South. So I grew up like almost every other black kid in America, eating stuff like spaghetti during the week, and meals like this on the weekends and holidays. No caviar. Sorry to disappoint you."

"No more apologizing, remember?" Marletta said with a smile.

The four of them continued to laugh and joke throughout their meal, and Marletta found herself having the best time she had ever had on a date. Later, when the DJ began playing records, Billy asked her to dance. She thanked him, but said no.

"You don't like to dance?"

"No, I do. It's just… I'm not into dancing at weddings. I know the music is going to be a bunch of corny line dances mixed in with sappy love ballads."

Billy laughed. "Oh, yeah, love songs are a _terrible_ thing to play at a wedding."

As if on cue, the DJ started playing Heat Wave's "Always and Forever," and Billy stood and took her hand. "There, you've done it. The DJ must have heard you. Now you _have_ to dance with me."

He looked so cute that she had to say yes. As he took her right hand in his left and placed his other hand on her back, she thought about the fact that she hadn't slow-danced with a guy in years. They started a few inches apart, but as the music went on, she found herself drawing closer to him until their bodies were touching. She had completely forgotten about him being the guy in the ill-fitting suit, and was thinking only of the attraction she felt for him.

Billy's mouth was near her ear, and he began to sing along. He had a beautiful voice, and she told him so. "Yeah, a singer was one of the thirty-odd things I wanted to be when I grew up," he replied softly.

Marletta rested her head on Billy's shoulder. She had always told herself she'd never let herself be taken in by a smooth-talking man, and here she was, completely charmed by Billy Darcy.

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**How do you like Darcy Sr. so far? Please let me know!**


	2. Billy: Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

A courier brought a delivery to Marletta's job on Monday afternoon. It was an African violet in full bloom, in a four-inch tall terra cotta pot. A small card tucked into a plastic stake in the soil read, "I had a great time on Saturday. I look forward to talking to you soon. Billy."

After the wedding, Billy had driven her home. As they said goodbye, he kissed her on the cheek and asked if he could see her again. She'd said yes, but had doubted that decision ever since.

The plant did a lot to put to rest those doubts. Had Billy sent a big bouquet of flowers to her job, she would have felt embarrassed and been turned-off by the showy gesture. But this was sweet and dignified. She started thinking of a good place in her apartment to put the violet.

Marletta was disappointed that Billy didn't call on Monday night. She considered asking Susan to ask Marcus for his number, but she wanted to wait and see whether or not he would actually call. He did, on Tuesday evening.

"Thank you so much for the plant," she told him right away. "It was a very thoughtful gift."

"You're welcome," Billy answered. "It seemed to fit you."

They talked for a few minutes, and then Billy asked if she was free on Saturday during the day.

"I am," she said.

"How would you like to go to the zoo with me?"

"The zoo?"

"Yes, the zoo."

"The zoo, as in animals?"

He laughed. "That's the only zoo I know."

"Why the zoo?"

"Because it's been one of my favorite places since I was a little kid. I thought it would be fun to go together. But if the zoo's not your thing, we can do something different."

"No, the zoo is fine. I think it'll be fun."

Billy picked her up at eleven o'clock on Saturday morning. He was dressed casually, in jeans, a knit shirt and walking shoes, but he looked really good. It was warm enough that she had chosen to wear a sundress and sandals.

_The zoo was a good choice,_ Marletta thought as they walked around. It wasn't crowded or loud, so they could talk easily, and making silly comments about the animals kept things light-hearted.

While leaning against a fence and watching giraffes, zebras and ostriches, Billy asked about her family.

"There's not much to tell," she said. "I have two older brothers and an older sister."

"So you're the youngest. So am I. Or make that the younger, since there are only two of us, my older sister and me. Are you close to your brothers and sister?"

"Not really. I don't even speak to them anymore."

"Why not?"

She paused. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"That's fine. I didn't mean to pry."

"What about you? Are you close to your sister?"

"Very. She's five years older than I am. She's married and has two beautiful little girls, who are three years old and six months."

"So what was it like growing up with silver spoons in your mouths?"

Billy laughed. "Why do you keep assuming I grew up rich?"

"Because you're from Netherfield Park. I've always heard about how wealthy and hoity-toity that town is."

"Netherfield Park has its wealthy parts and its middle class parts. Trust me, I grew up in a middle class area. My dad's a dentist and my mom's a teacher. We definitely didn't have the kind of money to live in the rich neighborhoods."

"Until I met you, I didn't even realize there were black people who lived out there."

"We were one of the first black families in the area. There are a lot more now; in fact, I think the town's about fifteen percent black these days. It's a really nice place to live. My sister and brother-in-law bought their house in Netherfield Park."

"What was it like growing up there?"

Billy placed his hand on his chin, as if in thought. "Well, people were polite, and I did have friends, but I often knew I wasn't fully accepted. Tough to get dates in high school, that kind of thing. It's hard being in the minority."

Marletta nodded. "I know what that's like."

Billy looked at her in surprise. "But you grew up in Longbourn City, which is mostly black."

"Yes, but I was growing up in the late sixties and early seventies, at the height of the 'black is beautiful' era. And here I was, this light-skinned girl with the funny eyes. I was often made to feel like I didn't fit in." _Except when the guys wanted sex,_ she thought bitterly.

Billy gazed at her closely. "I think your eyes are beautiful, Marletta. They're such a light brown, they're almost gold."

She smiled a little. "When I was a kid, I was always being made fun of for looking like a cat."

"Does everyone in your family have eyes like that?"

"No, just me. I'm the only one who's light, too."

At his puzzled look, she explained, "Different fathers."

"So you get your eyes from your father."

"I suppose."

"You don't know?"

"Nope."

She was becoming somewhat annoyed at his questions. Billy seemed to sense this. He took her hand and said, "Come on, let's keep walking."

He led her to an outdoor eating area. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

Marletta nodded.

"OK, have a seat, and I'll be back with lunch in a few minutes."

While Marletta waited, she thought in amusement that this would be the first time she'd ever eaten at the zoo. She'd been to the zoo twice on school field trips as a child. She'd hated field trips, because they meant she went hungry. When school was in session, she could eat the free lunch in the cafeteria. On field trips, parents were expected to provide a bagged lunch or a few dollars for the child to purchase food. Her mother never did. Once, a teacher noticed and bought her food, but that embarrassed her. After that, she tried to sit far from any teacher who accompanied the students, so no one would realize she didn't have anything to eat.

Billy soon returned, carrying a picnic basket and a small cooler. He reached into the basket and pulled out two woven placemats and matching napkins, small stoneware plates, forks, and two wine goblets. She laughed at the flourish with which he laid these objects on the table in front of her. He then opened the cooler and pulled out containers that held sliced grilled chicken, pasta salad, fresh fruit and cheese, as well as a bottle of sparkling cider.

"This would be wine," he explained, "but you're not allowed to bring anything alcoholic into the zoo."

He sat down and they served their plates. Billy then popped the cork on the cider and poured them each a glass. "Toast?" he asked.

Marletta raised her glass. "To the best lunch date I've ever had," she said.

Billy clinked his glass against hers and smiled. "I can drink to that."

After eating for a few minutes, Marletta asked if Billy had prepared the food.

"I did."

"So let's see, you can sing, you can cook… What can't you do?"

Billy laughed. "I can only cook because my mother insisted I learn. She wanted her kids to be responsible, and didn't believe in any male/female division of chores. By the time I was thirteen, I had to cook dinner two nights a week, and I had to do my own laundry, or it didn't get done."

"I think I like your mother," Marletta said with a smile.

He grinned. "Yeah, she's a good egg."

"Do you play any musical instruments?"

"The piano. I had lessons for ten years. That was at my mom's insistence, too. I also took lessons in the guitar, the drums and the saxophone, but I didn't stick with any of them long enough to become good at them."

"And you played sports."

"Little League, basketball and track. Oh, and I took kung fu for a while, during my Bruce Lee phase."

"And you were a good student on top of all that!"

"Who says I was a good student? I made mostly C's, with a few B's."

Marletta was confused. "You said you were a nerd."

"You can be a nerd and not be a good student. I was lacking in social skills until probably my junior year in high school."

"Why weren't you a good student? You're a very smart man."

"Because I was all over the place. Today, I'd probably be diagnosed with ADHD."

"Do you think you have it?"

Billy shook his head. "I doubt it. Or if I did, I outgrew it. I became much more focused when I got to college, and started doing really well for the first time in my life. My dad almost had a heart attack when I made the dean's list first semester. That's how I was able to make it to law school."

"That's where you met Marcus, right?"

"Yes. There weren't many black men in our class, so we got to be close pretty quickly."

Billy paused to refill Marletta's wine glass with cider. "What about you? What were you into as a kid?"

"Not much. Mostly books. I spent most of my time out of school at the library. That was my haven."

"I can see that," Billy said. "You seem very thoughtful and reflective."

After they finished eating, they wandered over to Monkey World, a huge enclosed area filled with trees and literal monkey bars that contained more than a dozen species of monkeys. It was late in the afternoon, and the zoo was now almost deserted.

Because the sun was no longer high in the sky, the temperature was starting to drop. Marletta found herself shivering in her sleeveless sundress. Billy took note and put his arms around her.

When she saw the romantic look in his eyes, she felt herself tense up. "Why are you here with me, Billy?"

"I really like you, Marletta," he said.

"But why do you like me?"

Billy looked puzzled, as if he knew that this wasn't a simple question.

"Billy," she said slowly, "my whole life, men have always noticed me for my looks. Very few have ever taken the time to get to know who I was underneath."

Now, it seemed, Billy's expression was one of compassion. He stroked her arms. "Marletta, I do think you're very beautiful, but that's not why I'm here with you. Susan really talked you up before I met you, and after you loosened up at the wedding, I realized that you were also a lot of fun. And today, I've gotten a glimpse of who you are underneath, and I want to know more."

Moved by his words, she put her arms around his neck, longing for the kiss she knew was coming. She was quickly warmed by the heat of his body as she savored the softness of his lips and the flavor of his tongue, still tasting of the spices of lunch and sweetness of the cider. After a minute, however, their kiss was interrupted by loud screeching.

Marletta looked up to see a monkey hanging from a branch nearby and gawking at them excitedly. She laughed. "I think we have an audience."

"Let him watch," Billy said softly with a grin. "He's cheering us on." He moved in to kiss her again.

When she got home that evening, Susan was preparing to go out with Marcus. "How was it?" she asked.

Marletta flopped down on the sofa and hugged a throw pillow tightly to her chest. "Oh, my God, he's wonderful! And so adorable!"

Susan laughed in delight. "I knew you would like him! Next time you need to have more faith in your best friend."

Marletta laughed and threw the pillow at her. But she had to admit, Susan was right.

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**I would love to hear what you think! Please review!**


	3. Billy: Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

Marletta smiled to herself when she started her car. She usually cherished her quiet Sunday mornings. While Susan attended church, Marletta slept late, nibbled on whatever was in the fridge, and leisurely read the Sunday paper as television pundits droned in the background. Yet here she was at eleven in the morning on the day after her trip to the zoo with Billy, heading downtown to meet him for brunch.

OK, she liked him. He was nice-looking, fun, and seemed caring. But why was that enough for his phone call an hour earlier to get her out of the house today?

_It's because of Susan_, Marletta thought. All her talk of getting married. If Susan succeeded in getting Marcus to pop the question, Marletta would be alone. As private a person as she was, the thought of being alone still scared her.

Oh, hell, she was lonely, too. It would be nice to have a real relationship for a change.

Billy was already waiting for her, sitting at one of the outdoor tables at the Sunrise Café. Catering to downtown businesspeople stopping in for coffee and a pastry or bagel during the week, the restaurant offered a full brunch on Sunday mornings, along with live entertainment. Marletta could hear the sounds of a jazz pianist drifting from inside.

Billy rose from his seat when he saw her approach. Marletta felt a warm jolt inside when he smiled at her. It was a pleasant feeling.

He kissed her lightly on the lips. "I'm glad you came. Have you been here before?"

"Not on the weekends."

"Then you're in for a treat. The buffet is excellent. I already told our waitress that it would be two for the buffet. Is that all right with you?"

"That sounds good," Marletta said, tucking a stray curl behind her ear.

"And how about the outdoor seats?"

She smiled. "They're great. It's such a nice day."

A few minutes later, they returned to their seats with plates of food. Marletta, who had an omelet and fruit, noted with satisfaction that all Billy had was a Belgian waffle with sides of scrambled eggs and sausage. It disgusted her when men used an "all you can eat" buffet as an excuse to eat as much as they possibly could. Of course, Billy could be one of those guys that returns to the buffet for two or three additional helpings—that remained to be seen.

Once they were seated, Billy reached under his seat and pulled out the Sunday newspaper. "Since I interrupted your reading this morning, I thought I'd bring it along."

"Oh, you didn't have to do that!" she protested.

"Are you sure?" Billy asked. He held out a section of the paper, open to a familiar black and white grid.

Marletta looked back and forth between Billy's face and what he was holding out to her.

He grinned. "Go on. You know you want to take it."

Marletta snatched it from his hand. As she reached into her purse for a pen, she said, "How'd you know I like the crossword puzzle?"

Billy chuckled. "Just a guess."

"So you're okay with me sitting here with you and doing the crosswords?

He nodded. "It's better than you half-wishing you were home because you didn't get to do it, right?"

Wow, he had her pegged. She was such a creature of her routines, she _was_ half-wishing she was still at home. Somehow, Billy allowing for that was very endearing. "I guess I can enjoy the puzzle in pleasant company," she said. "You're better looking than the talking heads on TV anyway."

He laughed. "That's not much of a compliment. I've seen those talking heads."

She smiled. "It's definitely a compliment."

They spent the next hour and a half companionably, trading sections of the paper and making occasional comments about the latest news or sports or brainstorming possible answers to ten across. Marletta was delighted to see that Billy never went back for seconds.

When they rose to leave the restaurant, Marletta said, "I'm not ready to call it a day yet."

"Neither am I. Want to take a walk along the waterfront?"

The waterfront along the river that snaked through Meryton was dotted with numerous craft and antique shops. Billy and Marletta stopped in several as they walked toward the waterfront park. When they arrived, the park was filled with joggers, dog-walkers, Frisbee players, kite-fliers and picnicking families.

After they were settled on a bench, Marletta asked, "I told you what I usually do with my Sundays. What do you usually do with yours?"

"I usually visit my parents, or my sister and her family."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Billy! I didn't mean to keep you from that."

Billy laughed. "Do I look like I'm complaining, Marletta?"

"Have you always been close to your family?"

"My mom and my sister, yes." Billy grinned. "They spoiled me when I was a kid. My dad and I didn't become close until I was sixteen."

"Why is that?"

"Because he's kind of old school. He had these expectations for his only son, and I didn't live up to them. I wasn't a very good student, and I was goofy rather than serious. Plus, he wanted me to be a dentist like him."

"And you're not a dentist."

"And I'm not a dentist."

"So what changed?"

"When I was sixteen, I snuck out of the house one night with my dad's car, and picked up a few of my friends. One of them had taken some liquor from his parents' supply. We got drunk and I crashed into a garbage dumpster. I totaled my dad's car."

"Were you hurt?"

"God was definitely looking out for us, because none of us were badly hurt. Anyway, the police arrested us. My friends' parents came and picked them up, but my dad let me stay in jail overnight."

"That must have been intense for you."

"It was. Talk about 'scared straight.' I had a cell to myself because I was a kid, but I could still hear and smell everything going on with the other men who were locked up, and it scared me to death. My dad came for me in the morning and I thought he was going to really lay into me. But he didn't. Instead, he just said, 'I'm so glad I didn't lose you.' And I started bawling."

"Wow."

"Yeah. Anyway, that's the day my relationship with my dad changed. I became more serious, and my dad became a lot more… accepting of me, the way I was."

Marletta squeezed Billy's hand and he smiled at her. "That summer was when I decided to become a lawyer, too," he said.

"Why's that?"

"My dad hired someone to defend me. He was black, and he was really cool, and it inspired me."

"He must have gotten you off."

Billy laughed. "Actually, he didn't. I was convicted of DUI. But he did work it out so that I wouldn't have to serve any time in a juvenile facility. Instead, I had to do 100 hours of community service and take a class on drinking and driving. That scared me, too."

"Bet you never got drunk again."

He laughed again. "I didn't. Hey, you're a good listener."

Marletta shrugged. "I have to be, since I'm not much of a talker."

"Unlike me, who's always shooting off my mouth?"

"I didn't say that!"

"You didn't have to."

Marletta looked at Billy and saw the twinkle in his eyes. He was teasing her.

Billy pulled her close and kissed her forehead. "What about you? Any epiphany moments growing up?"

"My brother made me promise I'd go to college when I was eight years old." Marletta looked down at her hands. It hurt to think or talk about her eldest brother.

"Let's see… I was sixteen and you were eight. That sounds about right, since they say that girls mature before boys."

"Well, at least you did mature."

Billy laughed. "Yeah, that's true. I have a few friends my age who still act like idiots."

By now, it was late in the afternoon. Billy asked Marletta if she wanted to get some dinner. When she said yes, he suggested a tapas bar, which she had never tried before. At the restaurant, they ordered several of the Spanish appetizers, called tapas, and a pitcher of sangria. Marletta found herself very relaxed and doing a lot of laughing with Billy, while drinking glass after glass of the fruity sangria.

When the waiter brought a second pitcher, Marletta reached for it. Billy placed his hand over hers. "Careful, Marletta. This stuff is sweet, but more potent than you think."

"I'm fine," Marletta responded. She was enjoying herself more than she had in years, and wanted the good feelings to keep going.

That is, until she stood up when they were ready to leave the restaurant. Marletta lurched and stumbled, and Billy grabbed her elbow to keep her from falling. "Why don't I drive you home in your car?" he suggested. "I can catch a cab back to mine."

"I can drive myself!" she snapped.

Billy didn't seem to take offense. "No, you can't. Let me have your keys, honey." Reluctantly, she handed them over.

During the car ride home, she relaxed again, and by the time they reached her apartment, she was downright horny. On the elevator, Marletta leaned against Billy and nibbled at his neck and ears, making him smile.

Susan was sitting in the living room, watching TV. She grinned when she saw Billy and Marletta enter. "I was wondering where you've been all day."

"Hey, Susan," Billy said. "May I use your phone?"

Susan pointed to a phone on the end table as she rose from the sofa. "Of course. Good to see you, Billy." She walked toward her bedroom and shut the door, leaving Billy and Marletta alone.

Marletta took Susan's place on the sofa while Billy called for a taxi. His back was to her, and damn, he looked good in those slacks. And while he wasn't a huge muscle man, his chest and arms had nice definition in his polo shirt. When Billy finished his call and turned around, Marletta continued her perusal. Billy noticed and smiled.

"Come sit down," she said, inclining her head toward the spot on the sofa next to her.

In one smooth motion, Billy sat down, placed an arm around her, and drew her face toward his with his other hand. As soon as their lips touched, Marletta's arousal shot through the roof, and apparently, so did his. Neither of them noticed when Susan re-entered the room until she spoke.

"Billy? Your cab is here. Oh, sorry." Susan was trying to hold back her smile.

Billy disentangled himself from Marletta's embrace and sat up. "Thanks, Susan. Well, I'd better get going." He stood and reached for Marletta's hand.

Marletta hesitated until she saw Susan mouthing, _"Go with him."_

She didn't do any cuddling with Billy on the elevator this time around; she was too embarrassed. When they reached the front door of her building, Billy stepped outside to wave at the cabbie, and then stepped back inside. He placed both his hands on Marletta's face and looked at her tenderly. "You're very special, Marletta," he said.

Marletta wanted to respond, but didn't know what to say. The cabbie honked again, so Billy kissed her, lingering for a few seconds. "I'll call you tomorrow," he said, and walked out the door.

When she returned to her apartment, Susan was waiting in the living room, this time not hiding her huge grin. "Looks like you two are getting close."

Marletta sat and covered her face with her hands. "Oh, God. Did I just make a big fool out of myself?"

"Of course not. You looked like you were having a good time, and Billy certainly seemed happy."

"I drank too much tonight."

Susan understood the significance of that. "Are you thinking about your mom?" she asked gently.

Marletta nodded.

"Sweetie, it's not like you do this all the time. And if it got you to loosen up a little, that's probably a good thing. Besides," she said, smiling, "from the look on his face, I think Billy's smitten. The next time you go out with him, you probably don't need to drink at all. Just be yourself."

Marletta wished that Susan's words reassured her. Why did she feel so embarrassed? It wasn't as if Susan caught them having sex. But it was more than just Susan, it was the whole evening. It was drinking too much after hearing Billy's drunk driving story and despite having horrible memories of her mother's drunken stupors. It was losing control, and realizing how out of control the whole situation was. She liked Billy, more than she had ever liked anyone, at least since she was old enough to distinguish between infatuation for anyone who'd pay attention to her and genuine feelings. She had no idea what a normal relationship was, and she was terrified of opening herself up to Billy and being rejected. She didn't know any way of coping with all these unsettling emotions other than to tell Billy she couldn't see him anymore.

Marletta thought she was firmly decided until Monday afternoon. Due to her hangover, she had been feeling crappy all day, when, in an experience of déjà vu, the same courier who'd brought the plant the previous week arrived with another package for her. This one contained a box of tea bags in a variety of herbal and caffeinated flavors, and a porcelain teacup and saucer she had admired at one of the antique shops the day before. Had this guy gone out during his lunch hour to buy this? He must have.

She read the accompanying note. "I'm thinking of you and look forward to talking to you tonight. Billy." Déjà vu indeed. Last week she'd been doubting too, until Billy's gift arrived. Marletta reached for the phone book.

Billy was in his office when she called. Now that she was one the phone with him, however, her nervousness returned. "Um… I just got the teacup and the tea. That was really sweet. Thank you."

"You're welcome. How are you feeling?"

"Lousy."

"Well, hopefully the tea will help."

"Yeah. Listen… about last night… I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"Well, I kind of jumped all over you."

"I didn't mind. I just hope you want me as much when you're sober," he joked.

"I shouldn't have drunk so much. You warned me, too."

Now Billy's voice was more serious. "You know, I didn't even remember that. I'm really sorry, Marletta. I hope you don't feel like I was taking advantage of you."

Oh crap, now he was apologizing to her. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean… I don't know what I mean."

"Maybe we can just forget about last night and think about the future. I really like you and want to keep seeing you. Do you feel the same way?"

Oddly, having a direct question to answer set her at ease. "Yes, definitely."

Even though she couldn't see it, she could feel Billy's smile through the phone. It gave her the same tingle of pleasure she felt when she saw him in person. "Hey, Billy? How come some woman hasn't grabbed you already and refused to let you go?"

He laughed. "Good question. I hear, 'you're a nice guy, but…' a lot."

Marletta was glad he was a nice guy. There weren't enough of them in the world. "So that's why you're available?"

"I hope I'm not still available, Marletta."

Now it was her turn to smile. "Not anymore!"

****************

**Thanks for the reviews so far. Please let me know what you think!**


	4. Billy: Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next few weeks were some of the best of Marletta's life. She and Billy tried to have lunch or dinner together whenever their schedules allowed it. Billy loved the outdoors, and on weekends they did such things as hiking, canoeing, and going to the beach. Although much of this was new for her, she found herself enjoying these activities as much as he did.

After their canoeing trip, they stopped at the supermarket to buy food and went back to Billy's place for dinner. He lived in a condominium in one of the more yuppie sections of the city.

While Billy carried the food to the kitchenette, Marletta looked around and spotted his piano. She lightly touched a few of the keys. "Will you play something for me later?" she asked.

"Sure."

She noticed several framed photos on the piano, of what had to be Billy's parents, sister and brother-in-law. She picked up a photo of two little girls, one a toddler and the other a baby. "These must be your nieces. They're adorable!"

Billy walked over, carrying a wine cooler which he handed to her. "They're even cuter in person," he said. "I'd love for you to meet them."

Marletta didn't answer. The thought of meeting his family made her very nervous. She wondered whether or not they would like her.

Billy tilted his head toward the kitchenette. "Come help me cook."

She and Billy prepared stir-fry chicken and vegetables and rice, and talked about a variety of casual topics while they ate. Afterward, he played for her as he promised. She sat beside him on the piano bench while his fingers moved over the keys. "I recognize that," she said. " 'Reasons' by Earth, Wind, and Fire."

Billy nodded. "I love Earth, Wind and Fire."

"Can you sing it, too?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Out of my voice range." When she asked him to play something he could sing, he started a different tune, one that was a much better fit for his rich baritone, Larry Graham's "One in Million You." The lyrics sang of a lonely, empty man who had given up believing in love, until he unexpectedly met someone who changed everything and gave him hope once more. Marletta closed her eyes as she listened to Billy sing the chorus:

_A one in a million, chance of a lifetime_

_And life showed compassion_

_And sent to me a stroke of love called "You"_

_A one in a million you!*_

When Billy finished, Marletta found herself unable to speak. For so long, she had accepted loneliness and emptiness as permanent facets of her life. Could life actually have compassion, even on her?

She felt Billy's eyes on her. "Anything else you want to hear?" he said softly.

She was afraid to share her thoughts with him, certain that the glimmer of hope she was feeling would vanish if she verbalized it. "I wish I could have learned to play the piano," she mused instead. "Will you teach me something?"

Billy put his arms around her and placed his hands on top of hers. "OK, let's try this." He began to lightly press her fingers over the keys to play what she quickly recognized at "Old McDonald."

"Yeah, I guess that's about all I can do at this point," she said, laughing.

Billy wrapped his arms around her more tightly and began to kiss her neck. Marletta let out a small sigh and turned her head to meet his lips with her own. Waves of pleasure rolled over her as their kiss quickly turned passionate. Billy stood and took both her hands and led her to his sofa. For the next several minutes, they lay entwined, hands exploring one another and kissing deeply until their lips and tongues were burning. When Marletta heard Billy undoing his zipper, she stopped suddenly, pushed him away and sat up.

Billy looked mystified. "What's the matter?"

"I… I'm not ready to sleep with you, Billy."

Billy sat up and rested his chin in his hands, facing forward, breathing deeply.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked, fearing his answer.

His eyes were gentle as he turned his head to look at her. "I'm not mad," he said. "I just need a little time to, uh… settle down, I guess."

"Are you disappointed?"

He smiled wryly. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't."

She stood up. "I need to use your bathroom."

A minute later, Marletta had used the toilet and splashed water in her face. She closed her eyes tightly. God, Billy must think she was such a weirdo. Dating couples in this day and age normally had sex together. What was wrong with her? It was hardly as if she were a virgin.

Marletta had known that sooner or later, the question of sex would come up, and she had been dreading it. Maybe because of her reaction after their make-out session on the couch the day they'd gone to the Spanish restaurant, Billy hadn't pushed the physical side of their relationship until now.

Sex and romance had always been separate things in Marletta's book. Not that there had been much romance in her life. But the few dating relationships she had had, she always ended before they turned physical.

On the other hand, there were the men she had sex with. When her loneliness became crushing and her sexual desires overpowering—usually once or twice a month, more often if she was really stressed—she'd find somebody to go to bed with. Her heart, however, was never touched.

That was it, right there. All the men who had passed through her life had flashed in her head. Billy was special. She didn't want to think of him the way she thought of them.

She had known this was too good to last. He probably wouldn't want to see her again. Marletta tried to smooth out her disheveled clothes and hair, before returning to face Billy and say goodbye to him for the last time.

When she reentered the living room, Billy said, "Hey, would you like to go out somewhere and get some dessert?"

Marletta was puzzled. "Why?"

He smiled. "Because I want to spend more time with you, and we can't stay here, or we'll end up in bed together."

Marletta said in the car silently, a little bewildered. She nodded wordlessly when Billy suggested an ice cream shop. He reached over and took her hand and smiled at her, and she felt herself getting turned on again. How on earth could she have thought his looks were average when she first met him? She had never been so attracted to anyone in her life.

After they sat down at a table with their ice cream, she said, "I still can't believe you were unattached when I met you. You're an incredible catch, Billy."

He laughed. "I appreciate that, Marletta, but yours seems to be a minority opinion."

"What was wrong with the women you knew before?"

He laughed again and shook his head.

"Tell me, Billy."

He cocked his head. "You really want to hear my sad love life history?"

"Yeah, I do." Marletta was very curious about his previous relationships.

"OK, but I'm warning you, it's kind of pathetic. For a long time, I'd meet an interesting woman, we'd go out a few times, and then maybe after the second or third date, she'd tell me that I was a nice guy, but she didn't want to see me anymore. This happened more times than I can count."

Marletta looked at him quizzically. _What was wrong with these women?_ she thought again.

"And then there was Theresa," he went on.

"Theresa?"

"She was someone who occasionally did research for my law firm, and we became pretty good friends. She was warm and friendly and had a great sense of humor. One day we ran into each other outside of work and decided to get something to eat together. We had a great time and started going out, and were together for about a year and a half after that."

"What happened?"

He hesitated. "I bought her an engagement ring, and the night I was going to give it to her, she told me she had met someone else."

"Oh, Billy!" Marletta cried out, feeling angry enough to strangle Theresa on his behalf. "How long ago was this?"

"Last December."

"Please tell me this didn't happen on Christmas."

"Christmas Eve, actually. Anyway, I kind of swore off women after that. I was tired of getting hurt."

Marletta looked at him with compassion, and he grinned and took her hand. "Don't feel sorry for me, Marletta. If I had gotten engaged to Theresa, I wouldn't have met you. And I learned some lessons from it."

"Like what?"

"Well, Theresa and I were great friends and lovers, but we weren't passionately in love with each other. I bought her the engagement ring because it seemed like it was time to take the next step. I realize now that that was the wrong reason to do it."

"There are worse things to build a marriage on than being great friends and lovers."

"True. But I know now that the next time I decide to ask a woman to marry me, I want to be passionately in love with her."

Billy was stroking her hand with his thumb and gazing intently at her when he said this. Marletta shivered a little and looked down to mask her discomfort.

She thought of something. "Hey, Billy, if you had sworn off women, why'd you agree to be my date to the wedding?"

"Because I really respect Susan. And her description of you made you sound very… enticing," he said with a grin.

Marletta raised her eyebrows. "What on earth did Susan say!"

He continued to caress her hand. "She said you were beautiful, and very intelligent, and that you might be a little quiet at first, but as I got to know you, I'd find that you were sweet and caring and fun to be with."

"She lied, in other words."

"No, she didn't do you justice," Billy said softly. "She told me you were beautiful, but she didn't say you were so gorgeous I'd want to stare at you all the time, and I'd lose myself looking into your eyes. She said you were intelligent, but she didn't tell me I could talk to you about anything. She said you were sweet and caring, but she didn't say that you have one of the softest hearts of anyone I'd ever known."

Marletta sat there as showers of warmth and desire flowed over her. She had never experienced feelings like this before, but she recognized them anyway. She was falling in love with Billy Darcy.

For her thirty-first birthday in late June, Billy took her on a sunset cruise along Meryton's river in which dinner and entertainment were provided. After eating, they slow danced to a song played by the band.

When they returned to their seats, Billy took her hand and kissed it. "Marletta, I want to ask you something. I know it was only two weeks ago when you said you weren't ready, but I was wondering if you would come back to my place for the night. It's okay if you say no, but I would love it if you said yes."

His expression was adorably nervous, and Marletta's heart melted as she looked at him tenderly. Her relationship with Billy really _was_ different. Her desires for him matched her affection for him. One didn't seem to kill the other. Sex with him wouldn't be like all the others. And so she said yes.

She was right, sex with Billy was amazing. "Tell me what you like," he whispered at the beginning. "A lot of kissing," she answered immediately, without even knowing why. But later, as he returned to her face and lips again and again during their lovemaking, she realized that so many men, after a few initial kisses, went straight for her breasts and lower. It was as if they only wanted a warm, naked body and forgot about her, the woman attached to it.

It wasn't just the frequent eye and mouth contact that she enjoyed. Billy might not have been as skilled as some of her previous lovers, but he was not inexperienced, and he was certainly the most sensitive at responding to her cues. Afterward, she told him how wonderful their union had been. Billy trailed his fingers down the side of her face. "I hope you always feel that way, Marletta. I hope I can heal some of the hurts other men have caused you."

A sense of panic rose in her chest. She had never told him about her past; how did he know? Suddenly she felt very vulnerable, as though her entire wicked history was on display and sooner or later he'd know everything and desert her like everyone else. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply to keep from hyperventilating while she lay in his arms, and was grateful when he fell asleep. She slipped out of bed to find her clothes, but unable to see well in the dark, she soon banged her shin into a piece of furniture, causing a clattering sound.

Billy woke up and turned on the light next to his bed. "Marletta, are you all right?"

Pain was still shooting up her leg, and she could barely speak. "Yeah, uh…"

"Come back to bed. Or were you headed for the bathroom?"

She should say yes, head to the bathroom, and slip out from there. But for some reason, she was frozen in place.

Billy stood up and walked over to her, putting his arms around her. "What's wrong, sweetheart?" She wondered if the terror she felt was evident on her face.

Billy seemed to sense what she was feeling and thinking. He tenderly caressed her cheeks. "Stay with me tonight, Marletta, please? Just let me hold you."

While he held her, her panic started to subside. She allowed Billy to lead her back to bed. He put his arms around her and gently kissed her forehead as she rested her head against his bare chest.

After a few minutes, she started crying. She knew that there was some cardinal rule about not crying after sex, but she couldn't help herself. Billy let her cry, stroking her back in a soothing rhythm.

When her tears finally ended, Billy asked if he could get her some tissue.

"I guess I did get snot all over your chest, didn't I?" she said.

Billy started laughing. "Yeah, you did." He kissed her lightly, and told her he'd be right back.

He returned a minute later carrying a tissue box. He pulled out a few tissues and began to gently wipe her face. "I love you, Marletta," he said.

All of Marletta's senses were magnified at that moment, as she felt the warmth of his touch, inhaled the headiness of his masculine scent, and saw the loving expression in his eyes. She adored this man. "I love you, too, Billy," she replied.

***********

*** "One in a Million You." Performed by Larry Graham, Warner Records, 1980. **

**Thanks for the reviews so far. Please let me know what you think of this chapter!**


	5. Billy: Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"I'm eating my heart out, but I really am happy for you," Susan said. "Life always seems to work out that way, doesn't it? I'm the one who wanted to get married, and here you are, the one who's actually going to."

Marletta smiled, touching the engagement ring, bearing a large pearl surrounded by smaller diamonds, on her finger. She'd been shocked when Billy had presented it to her the previous weekend. He knew it was rather quick, but he didn't see any reason to wait. "Almost from the moment I first met you, I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend my life with," he'd told her.

She'd said yes, even though the thought of marriage still scared her. Billy had become like the air she breathed, and she couldn't imagine her life without him. She was afraid she'd lose him by saying no.

It was Sunday evening, and she was waiting for Billy to pick her up to take her to dinner at his parents' house. He wanted to announce their engagement to them in person. Marletta was very nervous about the evening. She'd already met his parents at a Fourth of July cookout at his sister's place, and they were warm, pleasant people. Nevertheless, she didn't think they'd be thrilled about their son getting engaged to a woman he'd only known for two and a half months.

Marletta kept her left hand tucked under the table during dinner, while his parents told her about a production of "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide" that they'd recently seen at a theater company downtown. Mrs. Darcy asked whether or not she liked the theater.

"I haven't really seen much," she admitted.

"Not even in college? There are always productions on campuses, and it's usually very inexpensive for students."

"I was always working full-time and studying part-time, so I didn't have many opportunities to experience the campus life."

Billy squeezed her hand under the table. "Marletta has worked very hard and overcome a lot of obstacles to get where she is today," he said with pride in his voice.

"You need to make sure Billy takes you to some plays, then," Mr. Darcy said. "He used to be something of an actor himself. He did summer stock for a few years."

Marletta laughed and looked at Billy, who grinned and shrugged. Yet another of his many interests and talents.

After Mrs. Darcy cleared the dinner dishes and served dessert, Billy told his parents he had something important to say. He lifted Marletta's hand onto the table so that her ring was displayed. "Marletta and I are getting married."

Marletta clearly saw the shock that registered in his parents' faces. His mother recovered the fastest. "Congratulations. Have you picked a wedding date yet?"

"Not yet," Billy said, "but we were thinking about sometime around Christmas."

"That's great," Mr. Darcy said, although neither his voice nor his face matched his words.

As they continued to eat dessert, the conversation turned to the latest funny stories and milestones of the two Darcy granddaughters, Hannah and Tiffany. When they finished, Marletta offered to help with the dishes. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy thanked her but told her it was unnecessary, so she excused herself to use the restroom.

When she finished, she could hear their voices as she started back downstairs. "Is she pregnant?" Mr. Darcy was saying. Her stomach twisted a little as she stopped to listen. She'd known this wouldn't go well.

"No, Dad, she's not pregnant."

"Then what is your hurry?"

"If we know this is what we want, why should we wait?"

"Now, Billy, she is a lovely woman," said his mother, "but how well do you really know her? Do you know who her family is, who her people are? Do you know how she grew up?"

"I know her as well as I know anyone, Mom. What are you trying to say, that she's not good enough for me?"

"Of course not. You know us better than that," said Mr. Darcy. "But knowing who her family is and the values she comes from _is_ important. You may not think so because you're in love, but it is."

"I know who _she_ is. I know what _her_ values are. That's what's important to me."

"Billy, you've always been impetuous. I don't want marriage to be another thing you try out for a few months and then abandon like so many other things. You don't just jump into a lifetime commitment like this!"

"I don't believe you said that, Mom. Marletta is not some hobby of mine. She's the woman I love. I'm twenty-nine years old, and I know what I want. I'd like your support, but if I don't get it, I'm still going to do what I think is best."

She heard Mr. Darcy sigh. "OK, Billy, you're right. You're more than old enough to make this decision yourself. Just take some time to get to know her a little better before you rush into marriage. That's all we're asking."

Now Marletta felt nauseous. There were so many things she hadn't told Billy. She was terrified that if he found out, he wouldn't want her anymore, let alone want to marry her. She took several deep breaths to keep from throwing up, until she finally felt calm enough to finish walking downstairs.

The discussion had moved on to other things by the time Marletta returned to the dining room. She almost wanted to laugh at how well all of them were trying to act as if nothing were wrong.

She was thankful when Billy soon said they needed to leave. As they drove back to her apartment, Marletta decided, in as calm a voice as she could muster, to broach an idea that had come to her on the stairs. "Billy, what would you think about us just getting married?"

"That's what we're planning to do, isn't it?"

"No, I mean, not having a wedding. Just getting married."

"Like a justice of the peace type thing? Why would you want that? Don't you want a wedding?"

"Not really. I was never one of those women who've been dreaming about their weddings since age six. In fact, I didn't even want to get married until I met you. Besides," she said, squeezing his leg and giving him a sultry smile, "I don't know how long I want to wait before becoming your wife."

Billy laughed. "I know, I can't wait to marry you, either. But I think my parents would be kind of hurt if we didn't have a wedding."

"We can do a small dinner party later for your parents and other people we're close to, so they can celebrate with us. But meanwhile, you and I will already be husband and wife."

He glanced at her. "Is that really what you want? If that's what you want, of course I'll do it."

She smiled, as much from relief as from happiness. If they went ahead and got married, there would be nothing his parents could say or do to separate them. "I love you, Billy. Yes, that's what I want."

And so, three weeks later, she began her life as Mrs. William Darcy.

**********************

**What do you think the prospects are for Billy and Marletta's marriage? Please let me know!**


	6. Will: Chapter 6

**Part II: Will**

**PRESENT DAY**

The cancer was back, her doctor said, in her liver and kidneys, and it was spreading fast. She'd already been through surgery to remove tumors from her colon and stomach in the past year, followed by rounds of chemotherapy and radiation. "We can do that again," her doctor told her.

"Will it do much good?"

"It will slow the progress of the cancer down."

"But it's eventually going to kill me anyway. That's what you're saying, right?"

"There's a slim chance that you'll survive."

"But it's not likely."

He hesitated. "I do think you should be planning for the end."

Marletta contemplated his words. She had never been a quitter. No matter what had happened to her, she had always fought to maintain her pride, her image of strength and sometimes even her sanity.

But now, the fight had gone out of her. There had been too many battles over the years. She'd always fought until victory, and yet so many of the victories left her bleeding and empty. She'd fought to save her marriage, and had lost Billy anyway. She'd fought to save her son, and had endured his rejection. And her daughter had moved half way across the country to get away from her.

She was tired of fighting. So what did she want? Her children. They were the only thing that mattered now. Their love, their happiness. Another chance to do it over again, and maybe this time, as a mother, to get it right.

**CHAPTER 6: LATE 1980'S**

"Anything else?" Marletta asked her sister-in-law, Lois, as she finished taking notes about the errands Lois needed her to run.

"No, that's it," Lois said. "And I appreciate you offering to take the girls with you."

Lois was thirty-six years old and five months pregnant. With two active daughters, ages five and a half and two and a half, she was always exhausted. Marletta attempted to stop by as often as she could on the weekends in order to help Lois and give her a chance to rest.

"What's wrong?" Lois asked, as Marletta grimaced and squeezed the side of her waist.

"I've had the worst menstrual cramps for days now, and yet my period still won't come."

"Do you think you might be pregnant?"

"How can I have menstrual cramps and be pregnant?"

"I always felt like I had cramps at the start of my pregnancies. Your uterus starts changing, and that's what it feels like."

Marletta shook her head. "I'm on the pill."

"Yes, but if you're on the pill, your period should be coming regularly. It shouldn't be late."

"With last month being tax season, I was so busy I could barely think straight. I missed a few pills and that could throw my period off."

"It could also lead to you getting pregnant, Marletta."

Marletta stood there in stunned silence.

"While you're out," Lois said quietly, "pick up a home pregnancy test. There's no sense worrying about this until you know for sure."

When Marletta returned from the store, she admonished her nieces to gently wake their mother, who was napping on the sofa. Hannah carefully tapped Lois' shoulder, but Tiffany threw her arms around her mother for a bear hug.

"Tiffany!" Hannah cried. "You're going to hurt the baby!"

"No, it's okay," Lois said sleepily, hugging her younger daughter back. "Did you girls have fun with Aunt Marletta?"

"She got us suckers!" Tiffany said, giggling and jumping up and down.

Lois laughed. "Ooh, goody. What flavors did you get? I want one!"

As the girls picked through the bag of suckers to choose one for their mother, Lois looked up at Marletta. "Did you get it?"

Marletta nodded. "I'll go do it as soon as I finish putting the groceries away."

Marletta followed the instructions for the pregnancy test and left it in the bathroom, then went downstairs to the kitchen to make lunch for everyone. After lunch, she went back upstairs to check the results.

Pregnant. _Damn_, she thought. "Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!" she said out loud.

"It's positive, isn't it?"

Marletta looked up to see Lois standing outside the bathroom. She nodded.

"You obviously weren't planning this, since you were on the pill. But I know you and Billy want children, so this is a good thing. It's just happening sooner than you expected."

No, that wasn't true. She didn't want children. She just never said anything to contradict Billy when he talked about the kids he wanted to have. She figured that if she put it off long enough by telling him she wasn't yet ready, eventually she'd reach an age at which it would be too difficult to get pregnant.

Lois put her arm around Marletta's shoulder. "I don't know any woman who isn't a little scared at the prospect of becoming a mother for the first time. But I see how you are with my girls, and I know you're going to be a great mom. And Billy's going to be so excited."

Marletta tried to smile, hoping she fooled her sister-in-law into thinking she was happy, too.

That evening, Marletta lay on the sofa with her head on Billy's lap as they watched a video he had rented. She kept wondering how she was going to tell him.

She didn't want this baby. She couldn't imagine bringing children into this world, not with some of the things she had seen and been through. And despite what Lois said, she knew she'd be a horrible mother, given the example her own mother had set. Moreover, things between her and Billy were so good, and a baby would ruin it all.

She thought about not telling him, but she knew that Lois would probably bring it up. She also considered having an abortion and claiming it was a miscarriage.

As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she knew she couldn't do it. She had never lied to Billy. She had omitted much, but never out and out lied to him. And however she felt about it, this was Billy's child. She couldn't do that to him. She had to tell him.

After the movie ended, Billy stroked her hair. "You're quiet tonight," he said.

Marletta sat up and put her arms around him. She kissed him, deeply and hungrily. It was if she wanted to permanently fix this moment in her mind, because she knew that going forward, everything would change.

"Mmmm," Billy said as their kiss ended. "You want to head to the bedroom?"

Marletta shook her head. "I need to talk to you, Billy. I'm pregnant."

Billy looked shocked for a second, and then he yelped. "Marletta, that's fantastic! Oh, baby," he said more softly. Then he kissed her again, as passionately as she had kissed him before. "My wife. My beautiful, sweet, wonderful wife! We're going to have a baby together!"

During the next few months, Marletta found herself grateful for morning sickness, even though she felt lousy. It gave her an excuse to be grumpy, so she could hide her lack of joy about the pregnancy.

In September, Lois gave birth to a baby boy who she and her husband Jeff named Charles Alexander. "I'm so glad Jeff finally got the son he wanted," Lois joked when Marletta and Billy came to see them in the hospital. "He said we were going to keep trying if we didn't. I told him he'd have to do it by himself, because I'm done!"

Marletta found herself watching Lois and the baby closely as she did such things as nurse him, change him and cuddle him. Sometimes she found tears springing to her eyes. Could she love and care for her baby as much as Lois did for little Chuck?

On a cold February morning, Marletta went into labor, and fourteen hours later, she also gave birth to a son. After cleaning him, a nurse brought him to her. When she held her baby in her arms, something broke within her, and tears streamed down her face. He was so beautiful, and she fell in love for the second time in her life.

"So," said Billy, kissing his son's tiny hands, "William Anthony Darcy, Junior. What shall we call him? Willy, maybe?"

"Oh, God, no!" Marletta said, laughing.

"How about Will, then?"

"I like that. Will is good."

On Marletta's second day in the hospital, a woman with straight brown hair pulled back in a bun came to see her. "I'm Dr. Messinger," the woman said. "I'm a psychiatrist. Your ob/gyn asked me to stop by to see you because she's concerned you might be at risk for post-partum depression."

"Why would I be at risk?"

"Every woman is potentially at risk. You have really high levels of hormones in your body during pregnancy, and they suddenly drop after you give birth. That drop can be really hard on a lot of women. But some women are more at risk than others, either because of family history or ambivalence about having a child. Your doctor said you're in the latter category."

"Not anymore," Marletta said. "I love my baby."

"But you weren't so sure you'd love him before?"

"I… I wasn't sure I'd be a good mother."

"Many women feel that way. Is there anything you were particularly concerned about?"

Could she, or should she, tell this woman?

"My mother was an alcoholic," Marletta finally decided to say. "I had to pretty much raise myself. I don't really know what it means to be a mother."

The psychiatrist looked at her sympathetically. "A lot of people aren't blessed with good parenting role models. Sometimes you have to look for examples other than your parents. Are there any good mothers that you know?"

"My mother-in-law and my sister-in-law. And my best friend's mother, I guess."

"Those are the people you need to lean on, then. And do exactly that—lean on them. Don't think you have to be Superwoman or that you have to figure things out for yourself. Let them know when you're feeling weak, or scared, or confused or just plain exhausted. I can guarantee you they've been there, and they'll understand."

Marletta thought about it. She hated asking people for help, but she really wanted to be a good mother to her son.

"Something else I would recommend," Dr. Messinger said. "A lot of 'Adult Children of Alcoholics' are dealing with deep repercussions from their childhoods. I think it would be very helpful for you to enter into counseling to deal with some of those issues."

No. She didn't need counseling. She would turn to her mother-in-law Betty and to Lois and Susan's mother for help with raising Will, but she wasn't going to start digging up the past. She had left it behind, and there it was going to stay.

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**I love comments. Please review!**


	7. Will: Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

On a Sunday evening in November, Marletta lay spooned against Billy on the sofa while nine-month-old Will crawled over them. She lightly pressed Will's nose with her finger, and he pressed her nose back. Then he giggled. The sound of his laughter was so adorable that she couldn't help but giggle, too.

Billy kissed her neck just below her ear, in a spot that always made her shiver with pleasure. "I could stay here forever," he murmured. "Not have to go to work tomorrow or anything else."

Marletta laughed. "I know. Me, too." She leaned her head back. It was an awkward angle, but she wanted to kiss him. Will babbled and giggled again, as if he was enjoying his parents' show of affection for one another as much as they were.

"Do you ever think about having another one?" Billy asked.

"Another baby? Yes, I do." Marletta smiled. She was astonished at how much her attitude about motherhood had changed since Will's birth.

"We'll have to buy a house, you know. Our little one-bedroom condo won't cut it if we have another kid. In fact, we should try to buy something before Will starts walking."

Marletta ran her fingers over the hairs on Billy's forearm. "I've been thinking about that, too."

"Lois says there's a house for sale in their neighborhood. It would be great to live so close to them. We wouldn't be far from my parents, either."

Now was the time to bring up her thoughts on the matter. "I've been really thinking about moving to Pemberley."

"Pemberley? Why there?"

"Because it has the best school system in the state. Will could probably get into any college in the country if he graduated from there." Having missed out on so much as a child, Marletta wanted to provide Will and any other children they had with the best opportunities available.

"Netherfield Park's schools are pretty good, too. I don't think we can afford to buy in Pemberley, babe."

Marletta sat up, excited. "No, I think we can! I've been looking at real estate prices there. They have some areas that are less expensive than others, just like Netherfield Park does."

Billy laughed. "You have been thinking about this a lot, haven't you? But I still don't believe we can swing it. Pemberley is a lot more expensive than Netherfield Park."

"But what if your parents help us with the down payment? They did that for Lois and Jeff, didn't they?"

"Yes, but my parents offered. It would be different for us to just expect it."

"You don't think they'd offer the same thing to us?"

"I think they'd be happier if their grandchildren were close by."

Marletta suddenly felt very frustrated. As if sensing this, Will climbed into her arms for a hug. She rested her head on top of his and squeezed his baby softness.

Billy sat up and rubbed the back of Marletta's neck. "It sounds like your heart is set on this, and I don't mean to discourage you, but… even if we can somehow afford it, I'm not sure I want to live in Pemberley."

"Why not?"

"How do I put this? Pemberley is very… white. I went through that, often being the only black kid in my class. I never wanted my children to have to experience that. Netherfield Park is a lot more integrated today than it was when I was growing up."

"But today's a different era, don't you think? Do you think our kids would have it as hard as you did? I mean, racial attitudes have changed in this country. At least I think they have."

Billy continued to massage Marletta's shoulders. "Let me think about it for a while. I'll talk to my dad, too, and see what he thinks. Is that okay?"

Marletta nodded, still feeling a little disappointed. Billy began to kiss her slowly and tenderly until she finally smiled again.

"Why don't we put Will to bed early and start trying to make that other baby?" he said.

Marletta laughed. "That sounds very good!"

Billy talked to his father Andrew a few days' later. To his surprise, his dad thought a move out to Pemberley was a great idea, for the main reason Marletta gave: the great schools. As far as the racial composition, he said, "Somebody has to be a trailblazer. That's what your mother and I were." And as Marletta had predicted, he offered their help with the down payment.

Five months later, the same day Marletta and Billy closed on a four-bedroom house in Pemberley, they got another piece of good news: she was expecting again.

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**This chapter is a short one, but it sets up the rest of the story. Comments? Please?**


	8. Will: Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

Marletta pulled into the parking lot near the playground in her minivan. "Here, Mommy?" Will said from his car seat in the back.

"Yes, sweetie, we're here."

Will started laughing and kicking his feet. He'd been driving her nuts for the past few days with all the climbing on the furniture he'd been doing. Fortunately, today was an unseasonably warm day for March, so she could bring him to the park.

Marletta strapped on a frontal carrier and lifted her two-month-old daughter Jennifer into it. As always when she was in the carrier, Jenny promptly fell asleep. She then unbuckled Will from his car seat. As soon as he was out of the car, he immediately ran over to what had to be the biggest and most elaborate jungle gym Marletta had ever seen. Even though he had just turned two a month ago, Will was already extremely agile and fearless. Hence all his furniture climbing.

Marletta looked down at her sleeping daughter with a lump in her throat. She had to return to work on Monday. She'd wanted to stay on maternity leave for another month, but her boss wanted her back in time for tax season.

When she was pregnant with Will, Billy had asked her whether or not she wanted to stay home with their children. She'd lashed out at him. "I've worked too damn hard for my career! Don't you dare ask me to give it up!"

Billy backed away and held up his hands. "It was just a question, Marletta. I didn't say you had to."

That's why she had been shocked when she bawled the entire weekend at the end of her maternity leave with Will. Given how she was feeling now about leaving Jenny, she'd probably do the same thing this weekend. And now, staying home with the kids was no longer an option. They wouldn't be able to afford their mortgage payments without her income.

As she drew closer to the playground, she saw at least two dozen toddlers and preschoolers playing on the swings, slides and jungle gym, with their mothers sitting on nearby benches. This was good. They had lived in Pemberley for almost a year, and she hadn't yet met any of her neighbors. Between work, pregnancy, and now caring for two small children, she didn't have time to get out much.

Not that she'd actually even seen any of her neighbors. Their street felt like a ghost town, it was so quiet. Because she occasionally observed cars pulling into driveways, she knew people had to live there, but she never saw any of them.

It was very different in Lois and Jeff's neighborhood, where the houses weren't nearly as big or as far apart as they were in Pemberley. There, children played together in one another's backyards, and neighbors came together for barbeques and parties. She almost regretted their decision to move to Pemberley instead of Netherfield Park—but no, this was what was best. Her children deserved the best.

She approached a group of six women who were either sitting or standing near one of the benches. She hoped they'd be friendly enough to include her in their conversation.

They were—several of them immediately began talking to her. Except their conversation was in Spanish. It wasn't the first time people had assumed she spoke Spanish. She had to shake her head. "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

She walked away and took a closer look at the women in the park. Every last one of them had either brown or olive skin. And every last one of the children in the playground area, except her son, had fair skin. _Nannies_, she thought with a laugh. The women were all nannies.

"I don't understand them either," she heard a woman with a Caribbean accent say. "That's why I always bring something with me to read."

Marletta looked up to see a black woman who was about her age sitting on a nearby bench, gently rocking a sleeping toddler in a stroller. A pile of magazines lay beside her on the bench. Since the child was white, Marletta assumed that the woman was also a nanny. She approached her and the woman introduced herself as Dorothy. "I'm Marletta," she replied.

"Did you recently start working? I don't remember you from last summer."

It took a minute for Marletta to register what Dorothy was asking her. "Oh, I'm not a nanny. I'm here with my children."

"So that's your baby. How old?"

"She's two months. And my two-year-old son is over there." Marletta pointed to Will on the jungle gym.

"So your husband is black, too?"

"Yes, he is."

Dorothy smiled. "I didn't know any of us lived out here."

"Apparently there are 435 of us, but we haven't met any of the rest of them yet," Marletta replied with a grin. That was three percent of Pemberley's 14,500 residents, according to the census statistics she'd read.

"How do people get to know each other around here, anyway?" Marletta asked. "I was hoping to meet some of the other mothers today, but they all must be working."

"Some of them are working," Dorothy answered, "but most are at the country club, or the spa, or shopping, or at home doing whatever they do."

"So they send the kids out with nannies?"

"That's right."

A nanny just to give you free time, and not because you actually needed child care in order to work? That must be nice, if you could afford it.

"I guess you are home with your children?" Dorothy asked.

"Just until the end of the week. I go back to work on Monday. My mother-in-law retired last year, and she's going to start watching them."

"That's good to hear. We always look after our own. Unlike the woman around here." Dorothy said this with such disdain that Marletta briefly felt ashamed for wishing that she could hire a nanny, too.

"Have you worked in Pemberley long?"

"For fourteen years. I work with one family until their children start school, and then they refer me to another family. I always get very good recommendations," she said, obvious pride in her voice.

Marletta pressed her earlier question. "How do the families you work for get to know people here in Pemberley?"

"Many of them belong to the Pemberley Country Club. That's probably the biggest way they socialize."

The Pemberley Country Club. Would they even allow her and Billy to join? She supposed that they wouldn't overtly discriminate based on race, but it was possible they could find all kinds of other reasons to deny them a membership. It was probably a moot question anyway. Marletta doubted they could afford to join something like a country club.

"They also belong to different boards and organizations. The woman I currently work for is on the board of the Pemberley Historical Society," Dorothy went on.

Boards and organizations sounded more promising. At the very least, it probably wouldn't cost anything to join.

She and Dorothy chatted for a while longer, and then Dorothy said it was time for her to return home with the children in her charge. As Dorothy stood, she said, "Marletta, you seem like a nice woman. Are you sure you want to become a part of Pemberley society?"

"Of course," Marletta said, surprised by the question. "This is my community now."

"I understand. Just be careful what you wish for."

Marletta dismissed Dorothy's words as silly. As a child, she'd always loved books about people with wealth and glamour. She'd spend hours at the library, losing herself in such stories, and imagining that the lives of the people she read about were her own. Now she finally had a chance to experience such a life, and she was determined to take advantage of it.

The library! On the way to the park, they'd passed what looked like another of Pemberley's stately homes, so much so that Marletta barely caught the sign out front that read, "Pemberley Public Library." Librarians were always a wealth of information, she remembered. Maybe they could tell her more about different organizations in the town she could become a part of. She'd stop there with the kids on the way home from the park.

Will fell asleep as soon as they got back into the minivan, making a stop at the library impossible. She'd call instead, as soon as she got both children down for a nap.

As she anticipated, the librarian was a very helpful resource. She told Marletta she would put together a list of civic organizations in Pemberley, which she could stop by to pick up at any time during the library's open hours. She added, "You might want to contact the Pemberley Newcomers' Club. Their purpose is to help new residents get to know the town and its people." She gave Marletta a phone number, and Marletta thanked her for the information.

The phone number was for a woman named Adrienne Hawthorne, the president of the Newcomers' Club. When Adrienne answered, Marletta introduced herself and explained why she was calling.

"You say you've been here almost a year?" Adrienne said. "That's surprising. We always send out a welcome letter to new homeowners in town."

Had they received the letter? Probably. They'd been so busy, though, that she'd probably overlooked it. "I just had a baby, and I have a toddler," she said. "I'm sure you sent it, but…"

Adrienne laughed. "I understand. I have a four-year-old and a two-year-old, and sometimes I can't keep track of anything either."

"I was hoping, Adrienne, that you could help me get to know the town better. We haven't really met anyone since we've been here."

"Are you busy right now? If not, why don't I come by? I'd love to tell you all about Pemberley."

While she waited for Adrienne, Marletta looked around, hoping the house was presentable. It was very clean, of course. She prided herself on keeping a spotless home, even as tired as she was and as rambunctious as Will could sometimes be.

Their furniture was all new. She'd convinced Billy to allow her to make the purchases when they first moved in. He hadn't been very happy about it, because the furniture was expensive and they'd had to charge it. However, Marletta persuaded him by explaining that with such quality pieces, they wouldn't have to replace anything for a long time.

Finally, Marletta decided that their home would meet whatever standards Adrienne had. They didn't yet have enough artwork, but they'd slowly be able to make up for that.

Marletta was very surprised when she answered the door to see a cute, slender woman of about 5'4", who looked as if she were no more than college age. The woman, who had shoulder-length red hair and a smattering of freckles across her nose, laughed as though she received such looks all the time. Adrienne introduced herself and told her that she was thirty-two years old. "I've always looked young," she said with a smile. "It was a pain when I was single and was carded every time I went out, but now I'm finding it to be an advantage."

Marletta welcomed her into her living room and asked if she would like some coffee or tea.

"Some herbal tea would be great, if you have it."

Marletta returned, carrying a tray with a teapot of hot water, two cups and saucers, and a variety of herbal teas, along with sugar and sugar substitutes. She placed the tray on the coffee table in front of the sofa where Adrienne was sitting.

As Adrienne began to prepare herself a cup of tea, she asked, "What are you, if you don't mind my asking?"

Marletta knew exactly what Adrienne was asking, and yes, she minded, especially since they were meeting for the first time. She smiled, however. "I'm black."

"Really? But you could pass for almost anything. You must be mixed, right?"

Maybe. She didn't know. But she wasn't going to tell Adrienne that. So she just said, "No."

She heard Jenny begin to cry, and excused herself to go get her. After bringing her downstairs, she asked Adrienne if it would bother her if she nursed.

"Oh, not at all. May I see her first?"

Marletta held Jenny out toward Adrienne. "Oh, she's beautiful!" Adrienne cried. "I only want two children, but every time I see a baby, especially one as cute as yours, I'm tempted to have another."

"Thank you," Marletta said, finally warming a little to this woman. She moved Jenny into position to nurse. "Where are your children right now?"

"They're at home with Luisa." _Another woman with a nanny_, Marletta thought wryly, forcing herself not to roll her eyes. Adrienne reached into her purse and pulled a photo of two red-headed children from her wallet. "This is my four-year-old, Evan, and my two-year-old, Kayla."

They talked a little more about their children, and then Adrienne turned the conversation to Pemberley. She told Marletta the history of the town founded 150 years earlier by a wealthy businessman and about its expansion in the twentieth century.

"The Newcomers' Club was founded in 1958 because so many homes were built during that decade. We try to have a Newcomers' Club activity once a month. We offer such things as tours of the town, holiday parties, wine tasting events, golf tournaments, and summer beach outings. Oh, and we have a regular Moms' Koffee Klatch every other Friday, where several of us bring our kids together to play at someone's home. You should come next week."

"I'm afraid I can't," Marletta said. "I'm returning to work next week." She looked down at Jenny, who had fallen asleep again. "I'm not ready to leave her, though," she said in a wistful voice.

"Then don't!" Adrienne said. "Tell your employer you're not ready to come back. What do you do for work?"

"I'm an accountant."

"Well, there you go. I'm a writer, and I started freelancing after I had my kids. If you want to keep your skills up, I'm sure there's a ton of freelance work you can get as an accountant."

Marletta wanted to say that she couldn't afford not to work full-time, but she doubted Adrienne would understand the concept. "What's the next evening or weekend event?" she asked.

"We're hosting an evening with Pemberley's Chamber Music Society in three weeks. It's a fundraiser for a local animal shelter."

An evening of chamber music. That sounded like the perfect type of event to introduce themselves to the town of Pemberley. She couldn't wait to tell Billy about it.

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**Comments, please?**


	9. Will: Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9**

The Chamber Music Society concert was held on a Saturday evening in the home of Adrienne and her husband Jim. Marletta wore the only black evening gown she owned, along with a pearl necklace and earrings, and had styled her hair in a chignon, allowing a few dark curls to escape along her hairline and the nape of her neck.

She was nervous, but Billy helped to alleviate her anxiety. When he saw her, he gave her a smile that made her melt inside. "You look absolutely gorgeous," he said, as he pulled her close for a kiss. "I'm going to have the most beautiful woman in town on my arm tonight. All the men will be jealous."

"You look pretty good yourself," Marletta responded with a smile as she brushed the shoulder of his rented tuxedo. She was thankful that Billy seemed happy about going. Even though the concert was a benefit, he had complained at first about the $100 a head tickets.

Adrienne and Jim's house was located in the toniest section of Pemberley. As they drove there, Marletta asked Billy if he knew anything about classical music.

"Some," he said. "My parents used to take us to the symphony about once a year. And I had all those years of piano lessons."

"Good, because I don't know anything. I'm not even sure what chamber music is."

"It's music played by four musicians, usually in someone's home. I imagine it'll be a small gathering."

Billy was wrong about the last part. They arrived at the address to see a veritable mansion, designed in a simple modern style, with dozens of cars lined up in front. A valet stopped them as they drove up and asked for their tickets and car keys in order to park their car.

When they entered the house, a servant took her stole, and another handed them glasses of wine. _What a kick this is,_ Marletta thought with a smile. She couldn't wait to tell Susan about it.

Adrienne found them while they still stood in the front hallway. She gave Marletta an air kiss beside her cheek. "I'm so glad you made it! And this must be your husband."

Billy held out his hand. "I'm Bill— William Darcy."

Good, he remembered. Marletta had asked Billy to refer to himself by his given name that evening.

"A pleasure," Adrienne said. "Let me introduce you to my husband, Jim."

Adrienne led them into a large, carpeted room where Marletta assumed the concert would take place, given the chairs lined up facing a piano and several stringed instruments present. Adrienne walked toward an athletic-looking man of about 5'10" with short, sandy brown hair and wire-rimmed glasses. He was as boyishly handsome as his wife was cute. She placed a hand on his arm and said, "Honey, I want you to meet William and Marletta Darcy. They're newcomers to Pemberley."

"Jim Hawthorne," he said, holding his hand out first to Billy and then to Marletta. "I'm pleased to meet you both. How do you like our town so far?"

"Just getting to know it," Billy replied. "It's a beautiful place."

"Well, my wife is the person to know if you want to learn about Pemberley. She grew up here, and she's 'old Pemberley'."

Adrienne laughed and playfully squeezed Jim's arm. "Unlike my 'new Pemberley' husband."

"Old and new Pemberley?" Marletta asked.

"That refers to families who moved in before and after the housing boom of the fifties and sixties," Jim answered. He grinned mischievously. "We 'new Pemberleians' aren't nearly as good as the more established families, even if we're as rich."

Adrienne laughed again. "Yes, but I married him anyway."

"So what do you do, Bill?" Jim asked.

Marletta smiled. Billy's name had been shortened again, anyway.

"I'm a lawyer," Billy answered.

"What type of law?"

"I'm a defense attorney with Fletcher, Thompson and Holmes. What about you?"

"I'm a computer programmer."

As the men continued talking, Adrienne took Marletta's arm. "I'd like you to meet some of the women from the Koffee Klatch I told you about."

The next ten minutes were a bit of a blur as Marletta met more people than she could keep straight. Adrienne seemed to know everything about her guests—family history, professions, number of children, time in Pemberley, etc.—which she freely shared with Marletta each time they moved on from the person they had just met.

"Marvelous turnout as always, Adrienne," Marletta heard someone say. She froze. She knew that voice.

"Gavin, how great to see you!" Adrienne embraced and kissed a tall man with dark hair and blue eyes.

Marletta turned away, hoping to avoid his notice, but it was too late. "Well, well, if it isn't Marletta Cole!" Gavin said.

"Oh, you know each other?" Adrienne said brightly.

"Marletta and I are old friends," Gavin said. "Although it's been a while since we've seen each other."

"Small world," Adrienne said. She turned to Marletta. "Gavin and I grew up together. He," she said with a grin, "is about as old Pemberley as they come. He's a descendant of Carlton Edwards, the town's founder."

_Why doesn't that surprise me?_ Marletta thought.

"Marletta, you look magnificent," Gavin said as he leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

Marletta tried not to flinch. "You, too, Gavin," she managed to say, her mouth dry.

"Marletta and her husband recently moved to Pemberley," Adrienne said.

"Oh, so you're married now?" he asked.

"Yes," Marletta replied. "And it's Marletta Darcy now."

"Well," Gavin said, his expression smug, "I look forward to meeting your husband."

"Speaking of spouses, where is Gwendolyn?" Adrienne asked.

"In Switzerland. Her annual spa treatment."

"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry we missed her. We'll have to get together when she returns. Will you excuse us, Gavin? I'd like to introduce Marletta to a few others before the concert starts."

"Of course. And Marletta," Gavin added, his gaze piercing her, "it is a real pleasure to see you."

As they walked away, Adrienne said, "Gavin moved into the home he grew up in a few years ago when he married Gwendolyn. Before that, he lived in a penthouse apartment in the city."

Marletta nodded. She knew that penthouse well.

"Have you noticed the large house on the top of the hill just past the town center? That's his home. It was the first one built here in Pemberley. Carlton Edwards' wife was from England, and her ancestral home was called Pemberley. They built the house here to look just like the one in England."

Marletta hoped Adrienne was done talking about Gavin, but she kept going. "Gavin's a few years older than I am, and I had such a crush on him growing up. He's really gorgeous, don't you think?"

He was. Marletta couldn't deny it, and yet she didn't want to admit it either. She just nodded noncommittally. She was relieved when a bell soon rang to announce the start of the concert, so she could rejoin Billy at their seats.

The music was beautiful. Billy had said that it was okay for her not to know anything, that she'd enjoy the music anyway, and he was right.

During the intermission, she asked Billy to excuse her while she went to look for a restroom. She didn't see Billy when she returned to her seat. However, she felt someone's hand on her arm. She looked up to see Gavin standing there.

"Although I was surprised, I am very happy to see you," he said.

"You, too," she said quietly. She didn't mean it, but she didn't want to seem rude.

"I wonder if you might have some free time to get together."

Her eyes narrowed. "For what?"

Gavin laughed. "Come on, Marletta. We used to have some good times together. And my exotic goddess is still as beautiful as ever." He reached out to touch her face, but Marletta backed away.

He laughed again. "So, no get-together for old times' sake?"

"I'm married now and so are you," Marletta whispered angrily.

He grinned. "So what? There were no strings attached before. Why should there be now?"

Okay, she was done with trying to be polite. She turned to walk away, but Gavin grabbed her arm.

Marletta felt an arm around her waist and looked up with relief to see Billy standing there.

"William Darcy," he said, offering his hand to Gavin. "I'm Marletta's husband."

"Gavin Edwards," he answered, staring at Billy. "I'm a friend of Marletta's."

"Really?" Billy said, drawing closer to Marletta and staring back. "A friend of hers is a friend of mine."

The two men stood there for a while, and Gavin blinked first. "Well. Good meeting you, William. Marletta, I hope to see you again." He turned and walked away.

Marletta leaned her head toward Billy's and whispered, "Thank you."

He smiled. "You're welcome. Come on, I want you to meet an interesting couple." He took her by the hand and led her to an attractive black couple in their fifties. The woman was taller than the man, and she wore her hair in a short natural. The man was balding on top and had a neatly trimmed, salt-and-pepper moustache and beard.

"Marletta, this is Dr. Martine Rosen and Dr. Patrick Davis. They're both professors at the University of Meryton. They've invited us to join them for dinner sometime in the next few weeks."

Marletta enjoyed talking to the warm, friendly couple, and felt a little sense of relief to finally meet some other black residents of Pemberley.

In the car on the way home, Marletta wondered why her stomach was tied into knots. She should be feeling great about the evening. They had met so many people, and had perhaps made new friends in Adrienne and Jim and Drs. Rosen and Davis.

Gavin, of course, was a big part of her discomfort. But she knew something else was bothering her as well. She looked at Billy, wondering why he hadn't said anything to her anything about Gavin. She decided to ask the question out loud.

"Because I really don't want to know anything about him," he answered.

She should be grateful for his response and drop it, but it only made her curious. "Why not?"

Billy glanced at her. "Marletta, I know there had to be guys in your life before I came along. Maybe it's just my male ego, but I don't want to know about them. You and I are what matters now. You and me, and Will and Jenny."

Now she definitely needed to drop it. Billy didn't want to know, so that was a part of her life she could keep sealed shut, and she was thankful for it. "I really love you, Billy," she said.

He reached over and gently rubbed her cheek with the back of his hand. "I really love you, too, Marletta."

As she was getting ready for bed, Marletta realized what else was bothering here. She kept thinking about some people's responses to Billy that evening. She finally was able to put her finger on what made her so uneasy. A few people seemed to grow colder toward them after Billy told them what he did for work.

Early in their marriage, Marletta used to get angry with Billy for something or other almost daily. However, he always seemed to back down or give in, or he tried to diffuse the situation with a joke. It was hard to fight with someone who wouldn't fight back. She found herself growing more and more aggravated about his refusal to engage in an argument with her.

One day, in frustration she cried out, "How on earth can you defend a client in the courtroom when you won't even fight with your wife?"

"I can fight for things I believe in, Marletta. I don't want to fight with you."

"Oh, so you don't believe in me?"

"That's not what I'm saying. Our marriage is the most important thing in the world to me. That's why I don't want to fight with you over stupid things."

"Oh, so the things I care about are stupid? Is that what you're saying?"

"I didn't mean that, Marletta—"

"So what did you mean?" she yelled.

Billy started laughing. "You're determined to start something, aren't you?"

His laughter infuriated her. She started screaming and swearing at him. Billy just stood there watching her until her fury was spent. When she finally settled down, he asked softly, "What's really bothering you, Marletta?"

"How can I know that you'll fight _for_ me, if you won't even fight _with_ me?" Until she verbalized the words, she hadn't even known that was what she was thinking.

Billy walked toward her and pulled her into a strong embrace. "This," he said, kissing her forehead, "this is how you'll know."

He held her for several minutes, and Marletta felt her anger slowly abating. Billy lifted her chin with his index finger so he could look her in the eyes. "Marletta, I'll always fight for what's important to me, and the most important thing to me is you. I would go toe to toe with anyone who ever hurt you, and trust me, they wouldn't get back up."

She looked deeply into his eyes and knew that he meant it. She felt something at that moment that she had never felt before in her life: she felt safe and protected. After that day, it seemed she was angry less and less often.

Since that day, she'd always thought that Billy's job was the perfect profession for him—he was a protector, a defender. But now, she began viewing him against the stereotypes so many people had about lawyers as sleazy and unethical. She knew those words would never describe Billy, and yet she couldn't shake the discomfort she felt.

Billy was sitting up in bed, reading a biography. "Can I ask you something?" she said, as she climbed into bed next to him.

He inserted a bookmark and placed his book on the nightstand. "Sure."

"Why did you choose criminal law? Why not corporate law or estate planning or any of the other types of law you could have chosen?"

"I would be bored out of my skull if I spent all my time dealing with paperwork and legal minutia. I'm just not wired that way, babe."

"So you need the thrill of the courtroom?"

"Something like that."

"But why be a defense attorney? Couldn't you have been a prosecutor and gotten the same thrills?"

"I also like to help people."

"Aren't some of your clients sleazebags?"

Billy laughed a little. "Some of them."

"How does it help anyone to defend a sleazebag?"

"Everyone is entitled to a strong defense. Where are these questions coming from?"

"Did you notice how some people looked at you this evening when you told them what you do for work?"

"Yes, but so what?"

"Don't you care?"

"Not really. I can't control what other people think. Trust me, if any of them is ever accused of a crime, I'm someone they might think to call."

_But in the meantime, they won't want you in their social circle,_ Marletta thought as she sighed in frustration.

"Are you mad at me about something?" Billy asked.

Why did he act so dense sometimes? "Billy, we are trying to fit in here and become a part of this community! My brother used to say—I think it was from an old Richard Pryor routine—that they call it the justice system because it involves 'just US.' You don't think that these people out here in Pemberley are looking at you and thinking, 'Oh, yeah, this black man, and he's out there defending black criminals and helping them get away with committing crimes'?!"

Billy was quiet for a moment, his jaw twitching. "Marletta, I don't care what other people think of me, but I care a lot about what you think of me. Are you trying to tell me that you're not happy with what I do?"

Yes. No. She wasn't sure. She shook her head. "I don't know, Billy."

"You know that joke you mentioned, about 'just us'? That's a big part of why I chose to be a defense attorney. My parents grew up in the Jim Crow South where a fair trial for black people was almost non-existent. I know that blacks are disproportionately represented in the criminal justice system, and I want to make sure our people get a fair trial. I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

"Billy—"

"I'm not finished. You know how I go out to a lot of the schools in the city to talk to students about their lives and their futures? A lot of them don't realize they have rights. They don't know anything about the Constitution. Oh, yeah, they'll joke about taking the fifth because they've heard that on TV, but they don't know what it really means. And I've come to realize that when you don't think you have any rights in society, you don't feel like you have any responsibility to society either. So I try to talk to them about both their rights and responsibilities, so that they realize they have a stake in this world and will maybe think before they do something stupid and criminal and end up needing a lawyer like me someday. You know what, Marletta? I'm proud of what I do. And I hope that of all people, my wife would be, too. But I guess not."

Billy flopped down in bed with his back toward her, and turned off the light beside him. Marletta touched his shoulder, but he shook her off. A sharp pain pierced Marletta's heart. In five years of marriage, he had never really gotten angry with her until this moment. She finally had a chance to really rise above the past, but her husband didn't seem to understand why it was important to her. As she stared at Billy's back, Marletta felt an emptiness and loneliness that she hadn't felt in years.

**************

**Billy's patience with Marletta is starting to crack…. Comments?**


	10. Will: Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10: MID 1990's**

_Better times. That's how Marletta remembered them. Not good times, really—Mama was drunk most of the time and Melvin was already displaying his violent tendencies._

_But things weren't as bad as they would later become. Mason hadn't yet gone to Vietnam, and he was still at home looking out for her. Manette hadn't yet moved out with her children, whom Marletta adored._

_Helping to take care of her nephew Darnell and her nieces Maisy and Lashawn made Marletta feel special, as if maybe she had some worth in the world. And today, she had a really important responsibility. While Manette stayed home to look after her two young daughters, Marletta was taking Darnell to his first day at school._

_When they arrived at Sherborn Elementary School, the same one that Marletta had attended until last year, Darnell clung to her legs, crying. "I don't want to go! I want to stay with you!"_

_Marletta started crying, too. This was love she felt, for and from Darnell. In moments like this one, she could forget all the kids who called her the "ugly, high yella girl" or who made fun of her for wearing clothes that were raggedy or too small. She knew she mattered to someone._

**************

Marletta woke up with a start. It was almost dawn. Her dream had been so vivid, it took her a minute to realize that she wasn't a twelve-year-old girl back in Longbourn City.

She knew why the memory had come back to her. Today was Will's first day of kindergarten.

Wilson School was closer to their home in Pemberley than Sherborn had been to the apartment in Longbourn City, yet she had walked Darnell to school but was driving Will, she thought with some amusement. Billy had already dropped Jenny off at the home of her in-laws, Andrew and Betty.

Will, unlike Darnell, was excited about going to kindergarten. He already had a lot of friends, children he'd met playing in the Pemberley town soccer league in the four to five-year-old division during the summer. Likewise, she had gotten to know quite a few of the mothers.

For most of the children in this age division, playing soccer meant running around randomly and trying to kick the ball if it came near you. A few children, however, seemed to have an intuitive grasp of the purpose of the game and were already demonstrating some of the athletic ability they would later develop. Not only was Will one of the few, but he also easily ran faster than any other child on the field.

For this reason, Marletta was glad he was starting school. She didn't want her son to be stereotyped as "black kid, good athlete." Will was also extremely bright, already reading, doing basic arithmetic, and showing great aptitude for problem-solving. Marletta was determined that both her children would excel academically.

She needn't have worried. Unlike when she was a child, kindergarten lasted a full day and was much more academic, but Will thrived in school from day one. His teacher praised him for being outgoing, cooperative, and eager to learn.

She was therefore shocked when his teacher called her a couple months into the school year to inform her that Will had been in a fight.

She left work early to pick him up. She found her son in the principal's office, his face tear-stained. He jumped up as soon as she arrived and threw his arms around her, clinging to her as tightly as Darnell had on his first day of school.

"One of his classmates called him 'stupid' and the 'N' word," the principal explained. "Will hit him, and they started fighting. We don't usually suspend children this young, so we've dismissed both boys for the day."

Marletta crouched before Will so she could look him in the eyes. "You were fighting, Will? You know better than that!"

Will didn't answer, but fresh tears filled his eyes.

"Mrs. Darcy," the principal said, "we don't tolerate fighting, but we also don't tolerate the kind of language the other boy used. I want to assure you of that."

Marletta nodded. She was embarrassed and wanted to leave as soon as possible.

When they arrived at home, she sat down at the kitchen table and put her hands on Will's shoulders as he stood facing her. She asked him to tell her what had happened. "Justin kept cutting people getting on the slide, and when I told him to stop, he said, 'shut up, stupid nigger.' So I hit him."

"Do you know what that word means? Nigger?"

He shook his head. "I know it's a bad word."

Marletta placed her hands on his face. "Will, I don't want to ever hear about you fighting again. That's what people expect you to do. I don't care what anybody else says to you. You're better than that! You understand me?"

Will looked confused, but he nodded. "I'm sorry, Mommy."

As much as she wanted to take him in her arms and hold him, she felt like she needed to get this point across. "Go to your room now. You have to stay there until dinner."

When Billy arrived home with their daughter around six-thirty that evening, Jenny ran into Marletta's arms as always. "Let's go play with my animals!" she said, tugging at Marletta's sleeve.

"Where's Will?" Billy asked.

"In his room. He's being punished. He got into a fight at school today."

"Will was fighting? What happened?"

"A boy called him a 'stupid nigger'," she whispered to Billy so Jenny wouldn't hear.

"What did you tell him about that?"

Jenny was still tugging her arm and saying, "Come on, Mommy!"

"Jenny, stop! I need to talk to your father." She turned back to Billy. "What do you think I told him? I told him he's not ever allowed to fight, no matter what some other kid says."

She couldn't read the expression on Billy's face. "I want to talk to him," he said.

All three of them walked upstairs. Billy looked at his daughter. "Jenny, I want you to play in your room by yourself for a little while. Mommy and I need to talk to Will."

"No!" Jenny protested. "I want Mommy to play with me."

"She will, in a few minutes," Billy said more firmly. "But we need to talk to Will first."

When they walked into Will's room, he was lying on his bed with his face to the wall. Marletta remained by the door while Billy walked in and sat down on the bed next to his son.

"Hey," Billy said softly, placing his hand on Will's back. "I heard you had a tough day at school. Can I give you hug?"

Will sat up and put his arms around his father's neck. After hugging him for a minute, Billy sat Will on his lap. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Will retold the story about Justin.

"Do you know why he called you nigger?" Billy asked.

"Because I'm brown," Will answered. Marletta was surprised. Will had some idea what the word meant after all.

"You know what's really cool, Will? Everybody's different. You know how some kids are really tall, and some are really short? And some are fat and some are thin? How else are kids different?"

"Kayla and Evan have really red hair," Will answered.

"Yeah, like that! That's cool, isn't it? What if we were all the same? What if everyone was this tall"—Billy held his right hand over his left hand, a foot apart—"and this fat"—he spread his arms as far as they could go—"and had purple skin and three noses? What if we all looked like that?"

Will started giggling. "That would be really funny!"

Billy laughed, too. "Yeah, it would be, wouldn't it? That's why I'm glad we're not all the same like that. I'm glad we're all different. Even here in our family, how are we different?"

"Mommy and Jenny are girls, and you and me are boys."

"That's right, and how about this?" Billy placed his arm next to Will's.

"You're really, really brown, and I'm kind of brown," Will answered.

"Yeah, even in our own family we're kind of different, but we still love each other. But you know, sometimes when kids want to be mean, they try to act like being different is bad. They say mean words, like Justin did. Do you know what you should do when that happens? Should you hit him?"

Will shook his head. "No. I got in trouble."

"Yeah, you shouldn't hit because you could hurt the other person, and you'll get in trouble. Here's the first thing you do: you remember that he's wrong. Are you stupid, or are you smart?"

"I'm smart!" Will said with a smile.

"That's right, you're very smart! Then the next thing you think about is that short, fat purple person with the three noses."

Will started laughing again.

"You think about that, and you think to yourself, 'I'm glad I'm not that purple person! I'm glad I'm brown! I'm glad I'm different!' Can you do that?"

Will giggled. "Yeah, 'cause I don't want to be purple and have three noses!"

Billy hugged Will. "So if you remember that, then you'll know that when someone like Justin says stuff like that, it can't hurt you because it's not true. And if he keeps calling you names, what should you do?"

"Tell my teacher?"

"That's right. That's a much better thing to do than hitting." Billy looked up at Marletta and then turned back to Will. "Why don't you go play with your sister for a little while?"

"Mommy said I had to stay here until dinner."

"It's okay. I want to talk to Mommy for a few minutes."

"It's fine, Will," Marletta said softly.

When Will left the room, she said, "I handled that all wrong, didn't I?"

Billy put his arms around her. "Don't beat up on yourself. I've been through this before, remember?"

"I wish he didn't have to go through this."

"But he will. He and Jenny will always be African-American and as long as we live here in Pemberley, they'll always be different. If it's not name-calling, it'll be more benign things like kids wanting to touch their hair to see what it feels like. We just have to teach them how to deal with it."

Marletta wished she could be as accepting as Billy was. Even more, she wished she could have the same casual air of privilege as Adrienne, who was kind but clueless and didn't realize that life wasn't as easy for everyone in the world as it was for her.

As her children got older, she tried to make things as easy as possible for them, to the degree that she could. Whatever toys or games or electronics or clothes were in with their friends, she made sure they had them, too. The only difference between her children and any other kids in Pemberley would be their skin color. She'd make sure of it.

**************

**For those who are not familiar with the term, "high yella" is an insulting expression for a black person whose skin is very light. I picture Marletta looking something like the singer Alicia Keys.**

**Btw, the next part of the story is when things between Marletta and Billy will really boil over, and her past will be revealed.**

**Thanks for the comments so far. Please review!**


	11. Gavin: Chapter 11

**A/N: **Many of Marletta's secrets will soon be revealed.

**PART III: GAVIN**

**PRESENT DAY**

Marletta sipped her tea and then closed her eyes in pain, emotional as much as physical. For many years, she, Billy and the children had had a happy family life. Why had she tried so hard to destroy it? Why couldn't she have accepted their life as it was? Instead, she had allowed her intense insecurity to drive her into the arms of another man.

When she'd first met Gavin, he seemed to represent the hero of all her fantasies: handsome, dashing, sophisticated, and of course, insanely rich. But as with all dreams, she had to wake up and face the bitter ashes and shame of another illusion shattered.

CHAPTER 11: LATE 1990's

_When they were dating, Billy had been surprised to learn that she'd never been to summer camp. Summer camp, it seemed, was yet another of his favorite things._

"_Other kids got homesick when they went away to camp," he joked. "I got 'camp sick' when I had to return home."_

_Billy asked if she'd like to go camping with him. She enjoyed her adventures with Billy, so she immediately said yes. "Are you sure, Marletta?" he asked. "I'll pick a campground with indoor bathrooms, but we'll still be roughing it. Are you ready to sleep on the ground in tents, cook outdoors and all that?"_

_She assured him she was up to the challenge, so he planned the trip. They drove to a campground a couple of hours from Meryton on a Saturday morning. They spent the day hiking through the woods. She saw her first deer, picked and ate wild blueberries, waded in a stream and climbed a few trees. She broke most of her nails on the first day, but decided that for once she wouldn't worry about such things._

_That evening, Billy said he wanted her to experience all the things she'd missed out on as a child. He told her ghost stories by the fire, while they roasted marshmallows and made and ate s'mores._

_Billy brought along several citronella torches, which he lit around their camping area in order to ward off mosquitoes. When he made the suggestion, she looked at him like he was crazy. "What if someone sees us, Billy? At least we should go inside the tent."_

_Billy shook his head. "Tents magnify voices. If someone is nearby, they'll hear us if we're inside the tent long before they'd see us if we're outside. Besides," he said, touching her face, "I want to see what you look like by firelight. And I want to make love to you under the stars."_

_The thrill of sex in the open woods made their lovemaking as exciting as any of the fantasies in which she had ever indulged in the past. Afterward, as she lay in Billy's arms, she said, "I bet you never did this before when you went camping as a kid."_

_Billy laughed. "No, I didn't. I never did this before as an adult, either."_

"_Thank you, my beloved," she said as she kissed him tenderly. "Thank you for giving me the time of my life."_

_In the morning, Billy lit another fire in order to begin preparing breakfast. He asked her to retrieve a thermos of coffee from his backpack. Marletta pulled the thermos out, but it felt too light to contain liquid. "Did you forget the coffee?" she asked._

"_I don't know; look inside."_

_She opened the top and saw that the thermos was stuffed with newspaper. Confused, she pulled out the paper and spotted a ring in the bottom. "What is this, Billy?"_

_He gave her an innocent-looking smile. "You tell me."_

_She upturned the thermos to drop the ring into her hand. The gold band bore a large pearl, her birthstone, surrounded by smaller diamonds. "Billy…"_

_Billy knelt in front of her and took her free hand. "Marletta, you're the most incredible woman I know. You're so beautiful, strong, intelligent, and loving, and it's such a privilege to call you mine. Almost from the moment I first met you, I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend my life with. Will you marry me?"_

_He looked so sweet and earnest that it arrested her first instinct to say no. She had never wanted to get married, because she didn't trust men. They used you for their own purposes. At a young age, she had decided that she would therefore use them first, get what she wanted, but never leave herself vulnerable to them._

_Yet she did trust Billy. Not 100%, but she didn't trust anyone that much. She trusted Billy as much as she had trusted her brother Mason, as much as she trusted Susan. Maybe more. Moreover, she needed him. He was healing parts of her that had ached with pain and loneliness for so long. She knew he was the kind of guy who would want to get married. She couldn't be sure how long he would wait for her if she told him no._

_She knelt before him also, and put her arms around his neck. "Yes," she whispered in his ear. "Yes, I'll marry you."_

Billy retold this story to the kids every year on their annual camping trip. Well, not the whole story, but he told the part about the ring in the thermos.

For Will at age ten, this was now the sixth time he was hearing the story. He groaned. "Not again, Dad!"

Marletta agreed with Will. She was sick of hearing it, too.

Most of all, she was sick of going camping. She knew that Billy and the kids loved the annual trip, and she herself used to. However, she had grown more and more resentful over the years as she heard stories from Adrienne and other friends about their family vacations to places such as Europe, the South Pacific and the West Indies.

Billy, of course, kept saying that they couldn't afford anything else. Camping was an inexpensive vacation. Even though he'd made partner in his law firm this year, which brought a hefty salary increase, he still insisted they go camping again. "We have a lot of debt we need to pay off," he said. "Maybe in a year or two we can do something else."

The only good thing about this vacation was that she could get away from the incessant ringing of the telephone at home. Nine times out of ten, it was a girl calling for Will. Half the girls in his class had crushes on him, and their aggressive behavior infuriated her. She still thought of him as her little boy, and this sudden interest of him in girls and of girls in him was coming much too soon for her.

She supposed she understood why so many girls liked him. Will had managed to inherit the best traits of both parents. He was a very handsome boy, with a complexion between that of his parents. He had his mother's eyes and his father's smile. Her drive and determination, and Billy's sweetness and charm. And, as Billy once joked, Will's personality was "the perfect combination of you and me to be cool." He was very popular with his peers, hitting the right note between his father's sunny nature that sometimes led him to be overeager and the object of ridicule as a child, and her more reserved temperament that frequently made her seem standoffish.

Marletta's efforts at making sure her kids fit in among their friends in Pemberley had paid off, but it had taken a toll on her marriage, mostly because of the expense of keeping up with the children's classmates. Well, more than that. Billy thought their children were spoiled.

For example, like many of her friends, Jenny took horseback riding lessons. But Billy drew the line when Jenny wanted them to buy her a horse. Jenny had thrown the biggest temper tantrum of her life in response.

Marletta had argued with him, telling him that most of her friends owned their own horses. "Are you kidding me?" he yelled back. "Do you know how much horses cost? Marletta, you act like we're made of money, and you're teaching the kids to be just like you!"

"Your parents did stuff like this for you!" she screamed back. "Why can't you do it for your kids?"

"No, they didn't! Yes, they paid for lessons, because they wanted us to learn and be enriched. But they never bought us all the STUFF you want to give Will and Jenny. We never had the best clothes, we never had a lot of possessions or top-of-the-line anything, and they always drove used cars into the ground!"

"And I bet you hated it, too, didn't you!"

"Sometimes, but that's because I was a kid who didn't know better. Now I know that my parents gave us some really good values! And they never bought anything we didn't have the money for!"

She'd raged at him. "If you'd joined Marcus' firm, we'd have more than enough money right now!"

Billy looked at her in disbelief. "Have you somehow forgotten that you were the one who told me not to join? You said it would be a while before his firm became lucrative and you didn't want the drop in income."

She had. When Marcus founded his own law firm three years ago, he asked Billy to join him. Billy wanted to, but Marletta said no. What she hadn't expected was that in his second year, Marcus would successfully defend a pro football player on charges of assault. After that, he became the lawyer most in demand in the city by professional athletes facing criminal charges. Marcus had become a minor celebrity in Meryton, and he was now rolling in dough.

By that point, however, the attorneys at Fletcher, Thompson and Holmes were talking about making Billy a partner, and he felt that it would be disloyal to abandon them now. So she could still hold the decision against him, no matter how unreasonable her anger was.

When she tried telling her marital woes to Susan, her friend didn't seem to understand. When she complained to her about Billy's decision to stay with his firm, Susan took Billy's side.

"I should stay out of this—" Susan said.

"Then stay out of it," Marletta snapped back.

"No, no, I won't! You're my oldest friend, and I think I've earned the right to say what I see. You keep criticizing Billy's ability to provide for his family," Susan said. "That's pretty important to most men. How long do you think he's going to put up with it?"

No. The real question was, how long _she_ was going to put up with it.


	12. Gavin: Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12**

Marletta held the diamond in platinum earrings up to her earlobes. Just beautiful. And only $10,000. She pulled out her charge card to pay for them.

Yeah, right. She smiled and said, "I think I'll shop around a little more," to the sales clerk in Tiffany's, handing the earrings back.

Marletta walked out of the store and into the bright Indian summer afternoon. She hadn't done this sort of escaping into fantasy in a long time. It was always a response to stress, and the tension in her marriage was a major source of stress these days.

"Marletta," she heard. She turned to see Gavin approaching her. Speaking of fantasies.

When he reached her, he kissed her cheek. "Good to see you, Marletta. You look wonderful, as always."

"Good to see you, too," she replied. For once, she meant it.

"Are you on your lunch break?"

"I am. And you?"

"Meeting with my investment adviser."

"How is the portfolio?" she asked.

"It's in excellent shape."

"I'd expect no less from you."

The corners of Gavin's mouth went up in a closed mouth smile. "It's funny that I should run into you. I was in the city one day last week and I happened to pass Conrad's. I started thinking about how I met you there."

"Hmm. Good memory?"

"The best. So there's something almost... _karmic_ about running into you today."

"Interesting choice of words."

Gavin laughed. "It seems fitting, then, that you and I should meet there for a drink after you finish work today. Unless, of course, your family responsibilities would prevent it?"

"I think I can spare a half hour for a drink with you. Provided that all we're doing is having a drink." She looked at him closely. "That is all you want, right?"

His mouth spread into the dimpled grin that made him look so dashing. "Of course. Shall we say five-thirty?"

It was difficult to concentrate on number-crunching that afternoon as she anticipated her meeting with Gavin. She hadn't felt this excited about something in a long time.

Conrad's, an upscale restaurant and bar located near the offices of Marletta's first post-college job, was a favorite after-work meeting place in Meryton's downtown financial district. The last time she'd been to Conrad's, she was still single. She doubted she'd see anyone she'd recognize, but even if she did, what was wrong with having a drink with an old friend?

Gavin was already waiting when she arrived. "Eager, are you?" she said with a smile.

"For you, Marletta, always." He smiled back. He was still a very handsome man, and unlike Billy, his hairline wasn't yet receding.

Gavin placed one hand on her back and extended the other. "Shall we?"

They sat at a small round table in the bar area. After placing their order with the waitress, Gavin leaned forward, resting his elbow on the table and his chin on his hand. "You really look terrific, Marletta. Some women hit their forties and start to fade, or they have to spend thousands to maintain some semblance of beauty. But you're still in full bloom, and I'm sure it's all natural."

"Now Gavin, you're not supposed to remind a woman of her age," she replied flirtatiously.

"I'm just letting you know that many younger women don't hold a candle to you."

"You always were good at flattery."

"It's not flattery if it's true."

Marletta smiled, enjoying Gavin's compliments. She knew she looked good at 44. She was still in great shape, had no gray hair, and her face was still unlined. Since her husband didn't seem to notice her looks anymore, it was nice that someone did.

"So how is married life?" Gavin asked when the waitress arrived with their drinks.

"I was about to ask you the same."

Gavin leaned back. "It alternates between dull and strife-filled."

"I'm surprised. You and Gwendolyn always seem happy together when I see you at parties at the Hawthorne's."

"I can be very cordial with my wife in public. It's easy, as long as I'm finding my pleasures elsewhere. Now it's your turn to answer the question."

"It has its ups and downs."

"So not always dull and strife-filled?"

Marletta thought for a moment. "No. The good times have been very good."

"Which suggests that there have been bad times as well. What's the current status?"

She looked down at her drink. She didn't want to think about nor talk about the state of her marriage.

"You know, the offer I made years ago at Adrienne's is still good."

She wasn't surprised Gavin brought it up. In fact, she'd anticipated it.

"I've never been unfaithful to my husband," she said.

"Are you looking for me to give you a reason to change that?"

She pursed her lips and glared at him.

Gavin laughed. "Come on, Marletta, you can't fool me. You wouldn't have met with me unless you were hoping for more than just a drink."

"You really believe you know me that well? Even though it's been, what? At least thirteen years?"

"Oh, I do know you well." Gavin reached over and ran his fingers through the ends of her hair. "You're adventurous, Marletta. You like things a little kinky. That doesn't change, just because you're married. Imagine how much more thrilling things might be, now that it really is illicit."

Marletta was quiet for several minutes, taking a few sips of her drink. She and Billy hadn't been intimate in almost two months. She'd started refusing him to punish him for their financial conflicts. After several heated arguments, he'd stopped asking. He'd started coming home from work early to spend time with the kids, and then returning after dinner and staying until very late. She was almost always asleep by the time he came home. Now, after so many weeks of celibacy, she was sexually frustrated but too proud to apologize to her husband.

"Do you still have the penthouse?" she asked.

"I do."

"That's convenient. Does Gwendolyn know about it?"

He laughed. "Of course not."

"Does she expect you home this evening?"

"She rarely expects me home in the evenings."

Marletta found herself slipping into fantasy mode again. It would be a good way to release all her pent-up tension.

There was one thing she needed to do first. She reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone. "I have some work to finish for a client and I'll be home late," she told Billy when he answered. "I should be home by about nine. Is that okay? ... All right, I'll see you then."

She disconnected the call and smiled at Gavin. "It seems like I have a few free hours."

***********************

**Marletta, Marletta, what are you doing?! Any comments?**


	13. Gavin: Chapter 13

**CHAPTER 13**

When she arrived home that night, Billy gave her a perfunctory kiss as he left for work again. Since they no longer really talked anymore, nothing about her numb response to him seemed out of the ordinary.

Because she and Billy usually did a good job of acting normal around the kids, Will noticed immediately that something was wrong. "Mom, are you okay?" he asked, after she told him to get ready for bed.

"I'm fine," she replied. "Just tired."

Over the next few days, she felt herself slipping into a deep malaise. She knew she had to pull it together. Otherwise, she was terrified that one of the kids would express concern about her to Billy.

She was disgusted with herself. Disgusted and ashamed. She tried to suppress the guilt she felt by telling herself that Billy was a handsome guy with a healthy libido, and since he wasn't getting it from her, he must be getting it somewhere else. As soon as she thought the words, however, she knew they rang hollow. Billy was a good man; he would never cheat on her. She was the wicked one.

Nothing about what had happened with Gavin had satisfied her. Not in the least. Before Billy, great sex was about excitement and orgasms. Before Billy, she had never known the joy and tenderness of actual lovemaking with someone who cared as much about her pleasure as his own, who communicated his love for her with every touch of his hands and every expression in his eyes. And now she had destroyed any hope for that ever again.

A few weeks later, Marletta came home from the supermarket on Saturday afternoon to find the house quiet and Billy sitting at the kitchen table. "Where are the kids?"

"I took them over to Lois and Jeff's house. They're going to spend the night," he said quietly.

Billy's voice sounded weird, and Marletta felt a growing pit in her stomach. He watched her put the groceries away, and it felt as if his eyes were burning holes in her body.

"Sit down," he said when she finished.

_He knows,_ she thought. But how could he? She said in another chair and looked at the floor, so she wouldn't have to see Billy's face.

"I got a call this afternoon from Jim," he said. "He plays racquetball at the club on Saturday mornings. He said he ran into—what was his name again? Gavin?—in the locker room."

Marletta felt bile rise in her throat and tried hard to swallow it back.

"Gavin was apparently bragging about how good you are in bed. How it must not be true what they say about black men, since you still wanted him."

Marletta stood and raced to the sink, where she vomited. She rinsed it down the drain, and then drank some water to remove the foul taste.

"You finished? Sit back down," Billy said in a cold voice. It wasn't a request.

She sat.

"Is that true, Marletta? Did you sleep with him?"

She looked down and dug the fingernails of her right hand into her left arm. She didn't answer.

"How could you do it, Marletta? Do our vows mean so little to you?"

She kept digging, until she began to draw blood.

"Nothing I do is good enough for you, is it? No matter how hard I work, or what I do for you or this family. You still want to be a part of rich Pemberley, which I'm not. And you want to be a part of _WHITE_ Pemberley, which I'll never be."

She watched a drop of blood roll off her arm and onto the floor. She'd have to clean that up. The floor had to be spotless.

Billy walked over and jerked her head up. He pressed his fingers into her jaw, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Our marriage is just bullshit to you, isn't it?"

Marletta was shocked and frightened. She had never seen Billy so angry, had never heard him curse like that before. She found her voice, and her deepest fear tumbled out. "Are you going to leave me, Billy?"

Billy let go of her face and stared at his hand, as if he couldn't believe he had grabbed her so roughly. He sat back down and put his head in his hands.

Marletta sat there and felt herself crumbling. She couldn't live without Billy, but she wasn't worthy of him. He would leave and take her children, and she'd be all alone, the way she deserved to be.

No, she should leave. This was his home, and the children's home. Where would she go? The gutter, that's where she belonged.

They sat for ten minutes, not speaking, while she cataloged her sins in her head, self-hatred growing with each passing minute.

"No."

She looked up at the sound of his voice, confused. Then she looked down again.

"Look at me, Marletta," Billy said.

She looked up, but tried to avoid his eyes.

"I'll never leave you, Marletta," he said in a hoarse voice.

"Why not?" she whispered.

"I'm mad as hell right now, and I don't know when I'll get over that. But I can't leave you. You're my wife. You're the mother of my children. The happiest moments of my life have been with you. What are those words? `Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones'? That's what you are to me. I will never, EVER leave you."

Marletta closed her eyes, unable to speak. She felt Billy's arms encircling her, and his lips kissing her face. She wanted to shout, "How can you touch me?" And yet she felt like a starving woman, desperately craving his love.

His lips touched hers, softly at first and then more intensely. "I love you," Billy whispered. "So help me, I love you. Even though sometimes I don't know why."

She opened her eyes to see Billy kneeling before her, tears on his face. She cracked inside. "Oh, God, Billy, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!" He embraced her tightly as they sobbed in each other's arms.

Minutes, maybe even hours, had passed, when she heard Billy's voice in her ear. "Make love to me."

She shuddered involuntarily, wondering how he could still want her body, now polluted by another man.

He lifted her chin with his hand. "Please, Marletta. I need you."

How could she refuse him anything? She had no right. She nodded and allowed him to lead her wordlessly to their bedroom, where Billy quickly disrobed. She stood there frozen, her arms wrapped around her body.

"Marletta." Billy approached her and gently lowered her arms. She looked at the floor and watched as his hands unbuttoned and took off her blouse, and unhooked and removed her bra. When she was completely unclothed, he pulled her toward him and pressed their naked flesh together.

She felt his hardness against her abdomen and it aroused her, but she didn't know if desire was enough to move her past the shame she felt. Billy held her for several minutes. Resting her head against his shoulder, he whispered, "I cherish you," and then lifted her and carried her to bed.

As he began to touch and kiss her, her resistance melted. They made love that night with a passion that was raw and fierce and tender. With each thrust Billy reclaimed her, crying out, "You're mine, baby, you're mine!" She responded in rhythm with him, "Yes, Billy, I'm yours!" When they reached the heights of ecstasy together, she began to weep, aching as she thought about how long she had denied them both this pleasure. She lay on his chest afterward, remembering how she had done so the first time they made love. She had allowed him into her heart that night. And now, she wanted no more barriers between them. She would do whatever she had to do to change, to become the wife Billy deserved.

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**Marletta's finally at a point where she is ready to trust Billy. Please let me know what you think!**


	14. Gavin: Chapter 14

**CHAPTER 14**

_Maisy and Morris Cole gave some of the best house parties in Longbourn City. Every Saturday night, everyone knew that you could stop by to hear jazz playing on the phonograph, watch folks dancing and grinding, and partake of plenty of beer and wine, and more often than not, reefer being passed around. Drop in a dollar or whatever change you had at the door, and you were in._

_During the week, however, Maisy and Morris were a hardworking couple who loved one another and their children, Manette and Mason._

_When the children were six and four, Morris went out to buy more liquor for the weekend's party. He was caught in a hold-up of the liquor store, and he was shot and killed._

_After that, drinking wasn't something Maisy did for fun on the weekends. It became a daily habit to drown out her grief._

_Maisy was a good-looking woman, but since Morris was a powerfully built man, no one ever messed with her when he was alive. Now that he was dead, men came calling, and she no longer cared enough to say no._

_When she got pregnant, she had no idea who the father was. She kept drinking throughout her pregnancy. When her son was born, she knew that something was wrong with the boy she named Melvin. Even though fetal alcohol syndrome hadn't yet been identified, she knew that he was more than a little off and that her drinking was somehow to blame._

_When she got pregnant again the following year—again, father unknown—she was determined to stay off the liquor, at least until the baby was born. Her efforts paid off, and she gave birth to a healthy girl, whom she named Marletta._

_For all practical purposes, Manette and Mason, nine and seven years older, respectively, were Marletta's parents when she was a child. It was Manette who pushed their mother to register Melvin and Marletta for school, and who woke them and dressed them every day, and who did Marletta's hair._

_Mason, for his part, was something of the family breadwinner. When Maisy's drinking got so bad she could no longer hold a job, Morris' social security paid the rent and utilities, but Mason as the one who brought in money for food. Almost as far back as Marletta could remember, Mason worked. He helped storekeepers in the neighborhood sweep or stock shelves, and when he was old enough, he got real jobs at grocery stores and gas stations._

_Mason, quiet and studious, was a kindred spirit for Marletta. He helped her with her homework and was her confidante and comforter the many days she came home crying because of taunts or mistreatment by other kids at school._

_Melvin was a different story. He had behavioral problems and mild mental retardation—not enough to keep him out of school, but enough to make school a major struggle. Not enough to keep him from being streetwise, but enough to make him resent his quicker younger sister._

_Manette was a beautiful girl and like her parents, she liked to party. She was sixteen when she got pregnant for the first time and had to drop out of school. Mason, despite his love of learning, dropped out a year later. He was tired of being a victim of the gangs that roamed the halls of Longbourn High, and now with another mouth at home to feed, he wanted to work full-time._

_Marletta was only eight at the time, but Mason made her promise that she would never do the same. "Whatever you do, Cat," he said, calling her by her childhood nickname, "promise me that you'll finish high school. In fact, you're so smart, I want you to promise me you'll go on to college."_

_Marletta would do anything for Mason, so this was a promise she intended to keep._

_Manette had two more children, and it became even tougher to keep everyone fed. Adding to their troubles, Melvin's behavior was spiraling out of control. By age thirteen, he already had a juvenile record. He enjoyed preying on anyone younger and weaker, which at home meant Marletta and Manette's oldest child Darnell. Whenever Mason wasn't at home—which was frequently, given how much he worked—Melvin would punch and kick the two younger children, just for the fun of it._

_Manette didn't seem to care too much. Since Marletta was only a year younger and Darnell was a boy, she thought they should be able to defend themselves. She was very protective of her two daughters, however, and the first time Melvin hit one of them, Manette pulled a kitchen knife on him and threatened to use it._

_Manette started making plans that day to move out. "Either he's going to kill one of my babies, or I'm going to kill him," she said. In Marletta's thirteenth year, Manette and the kids moved into their own apartment, with welfare supporting them._

_That left Marletta home alone with Melvin and their mother a lot more often. Melvin was a hulking fourteen-year-old, and now she was his primary victim._

_That same year, Mason got a draft notice. He was going to __Vietnam__._

_Although she'd always loved books, it was after Mason left that the library became Marletta's refuge. It was open until six most days, and until nine PM on Wednesdays. She'd stay until closing time, sometimes doing homework, but mostly reading. Her friend Susan was often with her, but only until five o'clock, when she had to go home for dinner._

_It was there, in books, that Marletta discovered a world so unlike her own. An advanced reader, she gravitated toward books written for adults, stories of rich, glamorous and successful people. In those pages, she could forget her frequent hunger, forget the bruises Melvin inflicted, forget how unloved she felt by a mother too lost in her own pain to care._

_Marletta created a new world for herself in her head, in which she was one of the people she read about, one with enough money and status to protect her from pain. One day, she vowed, that would be the life she would have._

_Because she was tall, Marletta looked older than her thirteen years, and she was blossoming from a skinny little girl into a shapely beauty. Boys and men were starting to pay attention to her. Roland was the first. He was twenty-five and drove a Coupe deVille. He thought Marletta was seventeen. Sex with him was painful and made her feel dirty, but his hugs and kisses made her feel loved._

_What was really nice was that Roland would take her out to eat and give her money. For the first time ever, her belly was full and she had nice clothes that fit._

_After Roland was stabbed for not paying his pusher, Marletta soon found another older boyfriend, who provided her with many of the same benefits. After him there was another, and then another._

_She always insisted the men wear rubbers, and was so forceful about it that they complied. She wasn't about to get pregnant. No baby would stop her from fulfilling her promise to Mason. Marletta continued to do well in school, and even Susan didn't know about her other life._

_Mason returned from __Vietnam__ and he was never the same. The boy who had always worked had become a man who couldn't get or hold a job. War had taken a toll on his gentle soul, and he soon lost himself in drugs and alcohol._

_Now the money she got from her lovers served another purpose. Mason had always taken care of her; now she would take care of him. He'd be out on the street for days, and when he returned, dirty and smelly, she'd wash his clothes and feed him. He'd stay for a few days, sober up, and they'd talk like it was old times. Mostly, he wanted to know how she was doing in school and what she was learning. "Remember what you promised me," he'd say with a smile. Then after a few days, he'd need to get high again, and he'd be back out on the streets._

_When she was seventeen, Mason got his hands on some PCP. In a drugged craze, he robbed and strangled a woman. No one would believe that this was a man who, before going to war, before the drugs, would never hurt a fly. Mason was easily caught and sentenced to life in prison._

_With Mason gone for good, there was nothing tying Marletta to home anymore. Because she didn't want to be dependent on a man, she moved into an apartment with one of Susan's cousins. Now she became more determined than ever to make it to college. She owed it to Mason._

*******************

Marletta told this story to Billy in a numb voice the next morning. He held her in their bed, stroking her back as she spoke. When she finished, he put his arms around her and kissed her face tenderly. "My poor Marletta," he whispered into her hair. "My poor, sweet Marletta. You never told anyone this? Not even Susan?"

She shook her head. "Susan was a good girl from a religious family. She'd never have understood. I was also afraid that she'd tell her parents and they'd report the situation. I didn't want to be placed in foster care, because I wanted to be around for Mason. Susan knew Melvin was kind of crazy, so that's why she helped me move in with her cousin when I told her Melvin was getting worse. But she didn't know the rest of it."

Billy looked at her, his eyes gentle. "I can understand why you didn't tell me at the beginning, but why didn't you tell me after we had been married for a while?"

"I was afraid you'd leave me, Billy. Call it what you want, but I was basically a prostitute as a teenager."

"I wouldn't have left you, Marletta. You were doing what you had to do to survive."

"Would you really have stayed with me, Billy? Knowing all this? You told me once that you didn't want to know _anything_ about any ex-boyfriends of mine."

"I think I would have! No, I _know _I would have! Marletta, I knew on our second date that I wanted to spend my life with you."

"But why? What could you have seen in me?"

"There was something about you that made me want to take care of you."

Marletta wrapped her arms around herself. "I don't like having to need anyone."

Billy grinned. "I know."

"But I do need you, Billy."

He embraced her. "I know that, too. And I need you. I know I don't tell you that often enough."

Marletta pulled away from his arms. "There's more. I need to tell you about Gavin."

Billy pulled her back and kissed her gently. "Why don't I make breakfast for us, and then you can tell me the rest."

*******************

**Marletta's finally told him her history. What do you think now?**


	15. Gavin: Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15**

"Your parents were right," Marletta said, as she ate the pancakes, scrambled eggs and bacon Billy had prepared for them. "You didn't really know me when we got married."

"How did you—?"

"I overheard you talking to them. I was coming back from the bathroom the night we told them about our engagement. Why do you think I wanted to get married so fast? I was afraid your parents would start asking questions, and you'd reject me when you learned the answers. I'm still afraid of that."

Billy, sitting kitty-corner from her at the kitchen table, reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'm not going to reject you, Marletta. Can you trust me on that?"

She released his hand. "You still haven't heard the whole story."

"Go ahead," Billy said. "I'm ready."

****************

_Marletta finished high school and as she promised Mason, started college. Without her mother's support, she couldn't apply for financial aid, so she worked her way though school, starting at Meryton Community College and transferring to Meryton State when she finished her associate's degree. She worked full-time throughout college while living in a room at the YWCA, and it took her eight years to complete her degree._

_She read magazines at the library to learn about fashion, and purchased professional clothing at consignment shops. After landing her first professional job with a downtown accounting firm, she moved in with Susan. She continued to take courses at night in order to pass her CPA exam._

_She had been so focused on working and completing school that she had had no time to think about her many painful memories. During her first summer living with Susan, she finally had some downtime, and the memories came back. With them came the feelings of worthlessness that threatened to drown her. She once more sought refuge in a fantasy world._

_But she was no longer a young girl in the ghetto. She didn't need street hustlers anymore. She passed or came into contact with wealthy, high-powered men on a daily basis. Many of them, married or not, were more than happy to wine and dine a beautiful young woman, and they appreciated her "no strings attached" attitude. She wouldn't entrust herself to any of them, or give any of them her heart, but when she needed to, she could run away for a few hours into luxury living and sex, and make believe she was someone other than herself._

****************

"Gavin was one of my regulars, I guess you could say." Marletta looked down at her plate, unwilling to see Billy's face. "I was last with him about a month before I met you. You really didn't know the kind of woman you were marrying, Billy."

Billy placed his hand on her arm. "Marletta, look at me. Please."

She was unwilling, but looked at him anyway.

"Marletta, I need to ask you this, and I want you to be really honest with me. Other than Gavin, after we were together, was there anyone else?"

She shook her head. "No one, Billy."

"And..." Billy seemed to have difficulty getting the words out. "... how long with Gavin?"

Tears welled in her eyes as she looked back down. "Just once, a few weeks ago. Things were so bad between us and I thought... But it didn't accomplish what I expected. I felt horrible afterward. I hate myself for what I did, Billy. I really do."

Billy rubbed her arm softly. "Marletta, please, look at me again."

She lifted her head, but kept her eyes squeezed shut.

"Marletta, open your eyes and look at me. This is important."

Looking at him was one of the most painful things she had ever done, but she did.

"Marletta, that woman you described to me—that's not who you are. That's not who you were even when you were with Gavin. Otherwise, you wouldn't have felt guilty about it. You're a resilient woman, an overcomer. You're successful and hardworking. You're an incredible mother, and a loving and faithful wife. That's who you are. You have to believe that."

"I wish I could," Marletta said, as tears started to slip down her face.

"I know we need professional help, babe. But we'll get it."

"You mean, I need professional help, don't you?"

"No, I mean 'we.' Our marriage has been in trouble for a while, and I didn't want to face it."

"Yeah, but it was in trouble because of me. I'm the one with the issues."

"I have my issues, too, Marletta."

"But my issues are bigger."

Billy smiled. "OK, your issues are bigger. Satisfied? So we'll both get help, with our individual issues and joint issues and whatever other issues we have."

Marletta smiled a little. "What issues do you have?"

"I have my insecurities, babe, about race and color, and how I'm doing as a husband and father. And you managed to hit every one of them."

Marletta saw the look in his eyes and realized just how deeply she had wounded him. She stood and put her arms around him, resting his head against her chest.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured. "I love you so much, Billy, and I'm so sorry I hurt you."

Billy, who had been nuzzling his face between her breasts, looked up with a playful smile. "Did you say something? I was kind of busy."

Marletta laughed and bent her head to kiss him, amazed that even now, her husband still had his sense of humor. "I love you, Billy."

Billy ran his hands over her backside as he kissed her back. "I love you, too, Marletta. I really do. We need more times like this, with just you and me and without the kids."

She smiled. "Agreed."

Billy met and held her eyes with his own. "I meant what I said yesterday. I'll never leave you. I'm here for the long haul, and we'll get through this. I promise you that, Marletta."

As Marletta held him, she knew she hadn't told him the worst part. She hadn't told him the real reason why she had cut off contact with her family. She wanted to, but she couldn't bring herself to talk about it. The scar over that one was too thick, and the pain too deep.

But she had told him most of it, and he still loved her. For the first time in a long time, she felt a sense of hope.

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**I love comments! Please review!**


	16. George: Chapter 16

**Uh-oh, time for Wickham to show up…**

**Part IV: George**

**PRESENT DAY**

In the year that followed her affair, she and Billy began the hard work of repairing their marriage, with Marletta finally willing to begin facing some of her past. As they became closer than ever, their biggest challenge remained their ongoing financial difficulties.

When the money came, that should have been the end of their worries. But instead, the seed to a new set of problems was planted. That seed was a young boy named George, and the plant initially seemed to grow healthy and strong. It would be several years before the bitter fruit was harvested.

**CHAPTER 16: EARLY YEARS OF THE NEW MILLENIUM**

Billy surprised Marletta with flowers one fall evening, picking her up and swinging her around as he kissed her hello.

"What's going on with you?" she asked in astonishment. It wasn't just the flowers that surprised her, since Billy bought them for her from time to time. It was his exuberant mood, so different from the sorrow that had filled him for the past seven months.

"I have good news," he said with a broad smile.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Later," he said, removing his coat. "I want to say hello to Will and Jenny."

Marletta grabbed his arm. "Hey! Don't leave me in suspense like that."

Billy kissed her again. "It's something we need to talk about. So tonight, before bed, I'll tell you. OK?"

"That's not fair, you know!" she protested. She wasn't really angry, however. Billy's joy was infectious, and it was so good to see him smiling.

The past year had been a very difficult one. Billy's mother Betty passed away in March, after a battle with an upper respiratory infection turned into pneumonia. His father Andrew had died quietly in his sleep in May. "I think he just wanted to get his affairs in order, and then go be with Mom," Billy said.

Marletta sometimes felt troubled by the fact that she couldn't fully empathize with Billy's emotions. She had liked Andrew and Betty. Despite their initial misgivings about her marriage to their son, her in-laws had always been kind to her. Marletta recalled waking up with Billy the day they were to stand before the justice of the peace. Billy's subdued demeanor was unusual under any circumstances, but especially on his wedding day. Observing this, Marletta had experienced a sharp twinge of guilt as she realized the full impact of what she'd asked of him. His parents had been furious that he was planning to bypass one of the major celebrations in children's lives that parents long for, and they'd said they weren't going to attend the ceremony. Marcus and Susan agreed to stand up as their witnesses, but it wouldn't be the same.

Marletta recollected the tears of joy in the eyes of her husband-to-be when his mom and dad walked into the judge's chambers minutes before their nuptials began. From that day forward, Betty and Andrew had warmly welcomed Marletta into their family. She knew they had been special people and wished their deaths affected her more. Her children missed their grandparents terribly, especially Jenny, who, as the youngest Darcy grandchild, was the apple of their eye. However, having hardened herself at such a young age to the absence of her father and virtual absence of her mother, Marletta found it hard to relate to how acutely Billy, Will and Jenny felt the loss of his parents.

Even harder was repressing the sense of optimism she felt, because for the first time in years, money wasn't an issue for them. Andrew certainly had put his affairs in order. After retiring in the early '90s, he had sold his dental practice and invested the proceeds of the sale, much of it into technology companies. After his wife's death, he sold his stocks at the height of the market and reaped millions.

Marletta remembered how she, Billy, Lois and Jeff had sat in shock as the will was read and they learned how much they would inherit, even after estate taxes. While they knew their parents were frugal, neither Lois nor Billy had realized what shrewd investors they were.

She and Billy were both relieved that they were no longer burdened by financial pressures. They paid off their mortgage and other debts, and replaced their old vehicles with new ones. Where they differed was that she was excited about the opportunities the inheritance provided, and Billy wasn't. He didn't seem to believe that with six million either in the bank or in investment vehicles, they were all set to send their kids to college and retire comfortably, and could actually _spend_ something.

Marletta sighed. She was being uncharitable. It wasn't surprising that Billy didn't see the inheritance as quite the blessing she did, since it meant losing his parents to receive it. And he _had_ agreed to the trip to Europe.

One evening in late June as they were getting ready for bed, Marletta brought up her dream vacation. "Instead of going camping this year, I was thinking we should go to Europe."

"But the kids love camping."

"That's because that's the only thing they've ever done. We can convince them that Europe will be fun, too, especially if we go to Euro Disney."

"We can't—"

"You can't help yourself, can you? You were going to say we can't afford it, weren't you?"

Billy closed his eyes for a few seconds. "Yeah, I was."

"Well, guess what, Billy, now we _can_. And if you don't start spending a little money, you're going to seem like a cheapskate."

"Did you just call me a cheapskate?" Billy's voice was stern, but there was mirth in his eyes.

Marletta rose to the challenge. "Yes, I did. What are you going to do about it?"

Billy grabbed her by the waist and tumbled onto the bed with her. He rolled on top of her and pinned her to the sheets. "Take it back."

Marletta smiled. "Not until I get my European vacation."

Billy gently ran his knuckles along the side of her face. "You know, you're beautiful."

"Flattery will get you nowhere. I want to go to Europe."

He tried to kiss her, and she turned her head. "What, I can't even kiss my wife now?"

"You won't get a kiss or anything else until I get my vacation."

"You're heartless, woman."

"I do what I have to do."

"This is blackmail."

"I know."

The two of them attempted to stare each other down for several minutes. Marletta pressed her lips together to keep from laughing. And although Billy tried to maintain his mean expression, his eyes continued to dance with amusement.

Billy blinked first. "OK, OK, we'll go to Europe."

Marletta let out a small squeal, put her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. When they finally broke for air, she said, "See what happens when you do what I want."

Billy chuckled. "That's the secret, huh?"

"Um-hmm," Marletta said, as she began to kiss him again.

Their two-week vacation in August had been wonderful. While Billy loved witnessing and learning more about the history of cities such as London, Paris, Rome, Amsterdam and Athens, Marletta had delighted in the fashion, food and architecture. Although much of the trip bored the kids, they were overjoyed by their time at Euro Disney during the last few days in Europe, and so came home happy. And finally, FINALLY Marletta could hold her head up around Adrienne and her other friends and acquaintances in Pemberley, no longer having to say, "Billy and the kids just love camping," as her excuse for why they didn't take a more exotic or interesting vacation.

Marletta smiled. She had a lot to be grateful for, not the least of which, her marriage and family were still intact. She and Billy loved each other more than ever. She was thrilled to see him so happy this evening, and anxious to hear his good news.

Billy came home from work after ten, stopping in the kids' bedrooms to tell them goodnight. When he entered their bedroom, Marletta immediately said, "OK, spill it!"

Billy grinned as he started changing out of his suit. "Don't worry, I'll get to it."

He teased her like this for the next ten minutes, repeatedly finding something else he needed to do to get ready for bed and keep her waiting.

When Billy finally climbed into bed beside her, his "news" seemed like a joke. "How would you like to have another kid?" he asked.

Marletta laughed. "Are you crazy? I'm forty-six and can't have any more kids. Unless," she said with a sly gleam in her eye, "you have an outside child out there that you haven't told me about. In which case, I wouldn't call that good news."

Billy laughed and patted her abdomen. "Yes, babe, we're a little too old to have another child. And no, there are no fruits of my loins anywhere in the world except the two we have down the hall."

He smiled again, leaving her still in anticipation. "All right, go ahead," she said. "You know you want to tell me. What news are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about foster care. Maybe even adoption."

Marletta was confused. "What, do you want to adopt a child from the third world or something?"

"No, a child right here in Meryton, from Longbourn City actually. A boy I've met. I want him to become a part of our family."

Now Marletta was beyond confused. "Who is this kid? And how is this good news?"

Billy sat straight up, his face as eager as Will's upon receiving a new video game. "He's a boy who I met at the school I spoke at today. His name is George and he's thirteen. He's smart and he's funny and he's had a rough life. He needs us."

"I don't understand."

Billy looked bewildered, as if he didn't get why she wasn't as excited as he was. "Don't you see, Marletta? This is exactly what our family needs, too!"

"Why?" she asked, more sharply than she intended. "We have a good life, a good family. Why do we need to take in some kid that you happened to meet?"

"Because…" Billy looked at the ceiling, seemingly at a loss for words. "Because… my parents had to work for everything they ever had. You and I have had to work hard, too. But Will and Jenny won't have to. I don't want them to grow up like that. I've been feeling uneasy ever since we got the inheritance. I want Will and Jenny to know that the whole world doesn't have what they have. I want them to realize that there are people in this world who are in need, and if we have the means, we should help them. This is a chance to do that."

"So you want this kid George to be an experiment for the sake of our kids."

"You managed to make me seem pretty callous. I just want to help this kid, and hopefully also help our kids in the process." Billy's voice sounded hurt.

Marletta paused and took a deep breath to control her anger. A year of marital therapy had taught her that many of her conflicts with Billy occurred when one or the other of them triggered something painful from the past. Something about this situation was affecting both of them. She decided to calm down. "Okay. I want to understand. Tell me more about George."

**************

**So now you know why George comes to live with the Darcys… what do you think? Please review!**


	17. George: Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 17**

He was really, really skinny. That was Marletta's first impression of George. Skinny and short. Even though he was fifteen months older, he was smaller than Will.

Billy and Will had picked George up at his foster home in Longbourn City and then brought him to Chuck E Cheese where they were going to celebrate his fourteenth birthday in early November. Marletta and Jenny were waiting for them. It might have made more sense for them all to travel in their van together to pick George up, but Marletta said she didn't want to see Longbourn City again. Billy had understood.

As soon as Billy and Will approached their table with George, Jenny jumped up and hugged him. She and Will were both excited about the prospect of having an older brother, although ten-year-old Jenny harbored desires for a sister also.

George seemed a little embarrassed but grinned anyway as Jenny embraced him. When he smiled, Marletta caught her breath. He was a good-looking kid, and something about his thin face and dark skin and eyes resembled her brother Mason.

She had been wrestling with her ambivalence. Their marriage counselor had talked to her and Billy about understanding and supporting one another's dreams. Billy had supported her dream to go to Europe, so she wanted to support this dream of his—although admittedly it required a much greater commitment than a two-week vacation.

Marletta had journaled about her feelings related to taking in George. She knew it had something to do with her fear of foster care that she'd developed as a child. She'd always heard horror stories about foster homes and had stayed tight-lipped about her own home situation in order to not end up in one. Now here she and Billy were, planning to become foster parents themselves.

"It's foolish to feel this way," Marletta had written in her journal. "Billy and I are loving parents. We won't suddenly turn into the wicked stepmother and stepfather. We'll make a good home for George."

Billy brought George over to introduce him to Marletta. "How do you do, ma'am?" the boy said, holding out his hand and giving her the same smile. At that moment, Marletta melted. He was just a child, with good manners and a face like Mason's.

While they waited for their pizza, Will and George talked about Will's Playstation, with George commenting on how cool some of Will's games were. "You'll get to play when you come over," Will said.

"Am I going to get to go to your house, Billy?" George asked hesitantly.

Billy affectionately rubbed the back of George's neck. "Of course. We hope you'll come over a lot."

"But I can't come live with you right away," he said, with a note of disappointment.

"Marletta and I have to be approved to be foster parents first, and go through foster care training," Billy explained. "That'll take a while. And Miss Martha and I agreed that it doesn't make sense to move you until the end of the school year." Miss Martha was George's current foster mother, a widow who had taken in a number of children over the years.

"But he can stay with us a lot, right, Dad?" Jenny asked.

Billy smiled. "Definitely. We hope you'll visit every weekend, George."

George smiled again, clearly pleased at the prospect.

A cute girl of about twelve or thirteen walked by their table, and both Will and George turned their heads and followed her with their eyes. Marletta groaned inwardly. What if George was as girl-crazy as her son? She hadn't thought about what it would be like to add another set of young adolescent hormones to their household.

"What's Ashley going to think about you looking at some other girl?" Jenny said teasingly.

Will grinned. "I broke up with her, so it doesn't matter."

"You have a girlfriend?" George asked. "I have lots of girlfriends."

"Me too," Will said.

"You have lots of friends who are girls," Billy corrected. "You don't need to have girlfriends at your age."

Will and George simultaneously rolled their eyes, and both started laughing.

The rest of dinner was a lot of fun, with the kids continuing to find mutual interests and joking around. Later that night, Billy asked what Marletta thought of George.

"He seems like a good kid," she said.

"So do you want to do this?" he asked. "I'll only go ahead with the foster care application if you're really behind it."

Marletta brushed her final feelings of uncertainty aside. "Yes, I really want to do this."

Billy kissed her. "Thank you, babe. This means the world to me."

For the next seven months, George spent almost every weekend with them. He loved the chance he had to sleep in his own room for the first time, playing with all the electronic games Will and Jenny had, and the trips he went on with the Darcy family to various fun events and places. Surprisingly, he also loved the Darcy's large kitchen. Apparently, George liked to cook.

Meanwhile, social workers conducted a home study, examining almost every aspect of the Darcy's lives, from their marriage to their finances. Marletta realized that the year they had spent in marriage counseling had prepared them for this new challenge. A few years earlier, it wouldn't have been possible for Marletta to be that open about their lives.

When the home study was completed, Billy and Marletta spent two evenings a week for six weeks in a foster parent training program. In one session, the trainer drew a picture on a dry erase board of an ice berg floating in the water. "What makes ice bergs so difficult to navigate around," she said, "is that usually only a small part of the top of the ice berg is visible above the surface of the water.

"Foster children are like an ice berg. They've learned to protect themselves, so often you only see the small part of themselves that they allow above the surface. There's so much more going on underneath."

The analogy resonated deeply with Marletta, because she realized that it described her. She had finally started pulling her own iceberg above the surface, and had found a safe harbor in Billy's heart. However, the fear of abandonment and fear that no one would ever understand weren't such distant memories that the temptation to re-submerge herself never returned.

As she sat there, Marletta began to feel excited for the first time about becoming George's foster mother. She told Billy later, "Maybe there's a reason I went through all the things I did as a kid. Maybe I'm someone who can really understand George."

Billy smiled. "I've been thinking that all along. You're going to be such a good mother for him, Marletta."

Nevertheless, connecting with George was difficult for her. During his visits to their home, it was clear that George loved Jenny and Will and adored Billy to the point of hero-worship. On the other hand, while he wasn't rude to Marletta, he mostly ignored her.

One Sunday afternoon in February, Jenny was at a friend's birthday party and Will and George were at home doing their homework. The boys were both seventh graders. When George still lived with his drug-addicted mother during his lower elementary years, he had missed a lot of school and as a result, had been held back a grade.

Every time Marletta compared the two boys' assignments, she felt grateful again for her choice to move to Pemberley. Currently, both of them were working on their English homework. Will was reading George Orwell's _Animal Farm_, after which he'd have to write a two-page essay. George's homework consisted of two sheets of paper, with two one-paragraph stories on each page. Each story was followed by a list of basic questions or tasks, such as, "What is the topic of this story?" and "Underline all the nouns in the story above."

At one point, Will glanced at George's work and said, "You missed one."

"No, I didn't," George said.

"Yes, you did!" Will argued. He pointed at George's paper. "That's a noun, too."

"That's what you _think_ you know," George retorted. "That's a verb!"

"You're the one who doesn't know anything. It's a noun in that sentence."

Suddenly, George exploded. He crumpled his papers and threw them, as hard as he could, at Will's head, and then started throwing pens, books and other objects from the table at him. "SHUT UP!" he screamed. "I'm not dumb!"

With a mother's instinct Marletta rose to protect her son, but Billy was faster. Billy moved quickly to separate the boys, who had started fighting. As soon as Billy stepped in, Will calmed down, but George was still trying to attack. Billy wrapped his arms around George from behind and began to whisper, "It's okay, George, it's okay," in his ear until he stopped struggling.

Marletta saw a look of pain flash across Will's face. "I was just trying to help," he said, his voice cracking. Then he turned and ran out of the room.

Marletta started to follow him, but Billy shook his head at her. He released George and left the room to search for Will.

George was breathing heavily. He turned and faced Marletta. "I'm not dumb," he repeated.

Marletta was battling between being angry with him and feeling sorry for him. Thinking about what Billy would say, she exhaled and replied, "I know that."

When George didn't answer, she asked to see his homework. He looked around the room until he found the crumpled sheets he had tossed, and then handed them to her.

Marletta smoothed the papers out. She spotted the last section that had pencil marks on it, which must be the part George had been working on. She read through it quickly. "Is it this sentence?" she asked, reading, "Walking is good exercise," aloud.

George nodded.

Marletta hesitated; she didn't want George to go off again. She tried to speak in as neutral a tone as possible. " 'Walking' is a noun in this sentence. Words that end in 'ing' can sometimes be nouns and sometimes be verbs."

George didn't get upset again, but he didn't say anything, either.

Marletta went on. "You know, when I was in seventh grade, I went to the same school you go to. I know that they don't always teach you everything you need to know."

George looked surprised. "You went to my school? Why'd you go there?"

"Because I grew up in Longbourn City."

George looked at her with a newfound respect. "I didn't know you were from Longbourn City."

"Well, I am. And if you're anything like I was, I know you must be bored in a lot of your classes, because they're too easy for you."

George nodded. "Yeah, it's like a lot of the teachers expect you to be stupid, so they treat you that way. Then I start playing around 'cause I'm bored, and I get sent to the rubber room."

Marletta grinned. "Oh, yeah, the in-school suspension room. I remember that."

"Did you ever get sent there?"

She shook her head. "No, I was a quiet little mouse in seventh grade. But I knew a lot of kids who did get sent there."

George laughed a little. "Yeah, that's how I met Billy, 'cause he came to speak to the kids in the rubber room. He must've told them he wanted to see the really bad kids. So I guess it was a good thing I got suspended the day he came, huh?"

Marletta smiled. "That's one way of looking at it." She looked down at the papers, and back at George. "Why don't you finish your homework now, and when you're done, I can go over it with you?"

"Okay."

Marletta was surprised and pleased at how quickly George sat down to begin working again. "Hey, George," she said, "think about this. You only have four more months at that school. Next year, when you come live with us, you'll be in a better school, one that will really challenge you. All you have to do is get through four more months."

George smiled. "I can do that. Thanks, Marletta."

That was the first time, Marletta realized later, that George had addressed her by her name. It was a start.

**************

**Now you've met George… what do you think? I love comments!**


	18. George: Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18**

At the beginning of ninth grade, when George had been living with them for a little more than a year, Will came home and informed Marletta that he wasn't going to try out for Pemberley High's soccer team.

"Why not?" she asked. Soccer was Will's favorite sport, and he had been the star of his middle school team.

"I really want to focus on track this year," he replied.

"Why not do both? Won't two sports look better on your transcript than one?"

"I really love to run, Mom. I think I could become competitive at the state or even national level if I focus on track."

Something didn't seem right. "This doesn't have anything to do with George, does it?"

Will denied it, but Marletta wasn't so sure. The boys were constantly competing for Billy's attention and affection, leading to ongoing attempts to put one another down. They each knew what hurt the other one most. For George, it was when Will labeled anything he did or liked as stupid. For Will, it was when George labeled anything he did or liked as white.

George had once mocked soccer as a "white sport." Billy had laughed when he heard it. "Do you realize that soccer is the most popular sport in most African and Latin American countries?" he told George. "And that the greatest soccer player who ever lived is a black man named Pele?"

After that, George never again ridiculed Will's love of soccer in front of Billy and Marletta, but she couldn't be sure he didn't still do so when only he and Will were present. She probed a little to try to discover whether or not that was the case, but Will continued to insist that his desire to excel as a runner was his only motivation for quitting soccer.

Until George became a part of their family, Marletta hadn't realized how lucky she and Billy were. Will and Jenny had always gotten along well. They teased each other frequently, but rarely with any rancor. With George in the house, Marletta and Billy had to deal with full-blown sibling rivalry for the first time.

Marletta really admired her husband. He handled the boys' competitiveness in such an evenhanded way, looking for opportunities to do things with Will and George together, such as attending sports events or playing paintball, while also making time for each boy one on one. Had she been the object of their rivalry, she knew she wouldn't have been able to be so fair. She loved George, but Will was her flesh and blood.

Other than his relationship with Will, George was doing rather well. As Marletta expected, he found the schools in Pemberley more challenging—initially so much so that she and Billy had had to hire a tutor for him. He soon caught up to his classmates, however, and was now a solid B student. Because Will was in the honors track, he and George weren't in the same classes, which helped them handle being in the same grade at the same school.

Moreover, George was charming enough that he made friends easily, and all of his teachers liked him. He had a bad temper which came out occasionally at home, usually at Will, but he managed to keep it under control at school.

Billy turned forty-seven on a Saturday in April of that school year. A few weeks prior to his birthday, George suggested that Marletta take Billy out for the day to celebrate. "Why?" Marletta asked suspiciously.

George grinned. "Just do it, OK? As long as you come back home by six."

Now Marletta was even more curious. The kids were clearly up to something, but wouldn't give her any hint of what it was. She assumed they were planning a surprise party. She followed George's suggestion and took Billy out for lunch and a matinee, followed by spending a couple hours together talking in a coffee shop.

When they returned home, the front door was opened by Will before Billy could put the key in the lock. He was wearing a suit.

"Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Darcy," Will said. "Welcome to Chez Darcy. We have your reservations for the best seats in the house. I'm William and I'll be your maitre d' for the evening. May I escort you to your seats?"

Billy and Marletta both started laughing, but Will kept a straight face as he led them into the dining room. The table was set with two place settings of the family's best china, along with crystal wine goblets. The lights were dimmed, and tall candles flickered on the table. Will pulled out Marletta's seat to allow her to sit down.

After Will walked away, Billy, still chuckling, looked at Marletta. "Did you put them up to this?"

Marletta shook her head, barely able to get any words out, she was laughing so hard. "No, I swear, Billy… I had no idea…"

Jenny appeared at the table, dressed in black slacks and a white blouse and looking as mature and serious as Will. "Good evening, I'm Jennifer, and I'll be your waitress tonight. May I tell you about the chef's specials?"

Billy grinned. "Please do."

"The appetizer is a salad of mixed greens with white zinfandel dressing, followed by a cup of Italian wedding soup. The entrée for the evening is filet mignon with a sauce of mushrooms in red wine, along with twice baked potatoes and roasted asparagus. Would you both like to order the specials?"

"Two specials would be great," Marletta said, smiling.

Jenny couldn't keep a straight face anymore. She giggled and said, "Good, because that's all we have!" before walking away.

A few minutes later, Jenny returned with glasses of ice water for both of them, and Will came in, carrying a bottle wrapped in a white towel. "House wine?" he asked.

Billy pointed at the bottle. "Hey, I recognize that. You raided our wine rack, didn't you?"

Will did a better job staying in character than his sister. "Excuse me, sir, this wine was specifically suggested by the chef as a complement to your meal."

"Oh, well, if the chef suggested it, how can we say no?" Marletta quipped.

Will poured the wine, and Jenny returned a few minutes later, carrying their salads. The meal was scrumptious, and the children mostly left them alone to enjoy it, except for bringing additional courses or refilling glasses.

When they finished their meals, Will returned to the table. "Sir, I've been informed that today is your birthday. Here at Chez Darcy, we traditionally offer dessert on the house to guests on special occasions—"

"I thought the whole meal was on the house," Billy said.

That finally made Will laugh, but he was able to quickly return to his serious mode. "Dessert tonight is chocolate mousse with whipped cream and strawberries, and your waitress will bring that to you shortly."

If dinner was delicious, dessert was out of this world. By the time they finished, Marletta and Billy were beyond stuffed. Billy kept shaking his head. "I can't believe the kids did all this."

Will and Jenny returned to the dining room. "We thought you might like to meet your chef for the evening," Will said.

"If you applaud, he'll come out," Jenny added.

Billy and Marletta both smiled and started clapping their hands. Soon, George emerged from the kitchen, wearing a soiled apron and a sheepish expression.

Marletta rose as soon as she saw him, and walked over to hug him. "George, that was fabulous! You made all this yourself?"

George grinned. "Will and Jenny helped."

Billy was right behind Marletta, but as he approached, George held out his hand. "I want a chance to say something. Billy, you've done so much for me, and, uh… I just wanted to do something for you for a change. So, um, thank you. And happy birthday."

Billy's eyes were moist as he grabbed George into a big bear hug and held him there for several minutes.

That evening was a turning point in George and Will's relationship, and it made possible a surprise for Marletta: Billy bought two tickets for a Western Canadian cruise to celebrate their eighteenth wedding anniversary in August. The boys had come far enough in their friendship that Billy and Marletta felt they could trust them not to be at each other's throats the whole week while Susan stayed with them.

Billy and Marletta spent the first day of the cruise on deck, taking in the awe-inspiring scenery. Billy stood behind her with his arms around her waist, resting his head on her shoulder.

Marletta kissed her husband's cheek. "Why do I keep wondering if the kids are okay?"

"They're fine. Susan will keep them in line."

After a few minutes of silence as they enjoyed the ocean breeze, Billy said, "I've been thinking about George a lot. I think there are two things we need to do for him."

Marletta turned to look at him.

"First, I think we need to set up some sort of trust for George to go to school. Will and Jenny will receive the trusts that my dad set up for them when they turn eighteen, and I think George should have something like that as well."

Marletta was puzzled. "He says he doesn't want to go to college. I've tried persuading him to change his mind, but I haven't had much luck."

Billy nodded. "I know, but I've talked to him about going to school to study culinary arts, and he's very interested in that."

"All right. What's the other thing?"

"I think we should legally adopt George."

She tilted her head. "Does it matter at this point? George will be seventeen in a few months, and he knows we're committed to him."

"Yes, but it's a legal protection for him. If something happens to you and me and he's not legally our child, he could end up back in the foster care system or on the streets. And I think it would mean a lot to him if we give him our name."

Marletta didn't want to contemplate anything happening to her or Billy. "I think you're right about the trust. Let's do it when we get back. But maybe we can take some time to think about the adoption."

Billy nodded, willing to give her however much time she needed to make a decision.

The next morning, they enjoyed some leisurely lovemaking and ordered room service for breakfast.

"You know, Billy," she said as she ate, "I think I might be starting to go through the change."

"Menopause? Really?"

"I think so. I've been having what has to be hot flashes lately."

Billy grinned. "So no more worrying about you getting pregnant."

Marletta laughed and rolled her eyes. "You haven't had to worry about that in years." She had had her tubes tied after having Jenny.

"Yeah, now we just have to worry about not becoming grandparents."

Marletta covered her face with her hands. "Oh, God, Billy, I can't think about our kids having sex." She remembered how young she had been when she became sexually active, and how much it had damaged her. She lowered her hands and looked at him. "You _are_ talking to the boys about that, aren't you?"

"Yes, often! And you're talking to Jenny, right?"

Marletta nodded, and then started laughing. "We're pathetic, aren't we? Here we are, on a cruise to celebrate our anniversary, and we keep talking about the children!"

Billy grinned and stood to remove the breakfast tray from the bed. He climbed back in and put his arms around Marletta. He kissed her hair and rubbed her back as she snuggled into him.

"Let's talk about us," Billy said. "Do you know that after eighteen years, you're still the most beautiful woman in the world to me, and I'm still madly in love with you?"

Marletta looked up. She ran her fingers over the stubble on his face and then kissed him tenderly. "We've come a long way, haven't we?"

Billy took her hand and began to kiss her fingers. "Yes, we have. I'm so thankful you're my wife," he said softly.

Marletta couldn't speak. Thankful didn't even begin to describe how she felt about Billy. She finally said, "I don't deserve you, Billy."

He grinned. "You think I deserve you? I still can't believe that a woman as wonderful and beautiful as you took a chance on a loser like me!" He moved his thumb and forefinger into the shape of an L on his forehead as he said this.

Marletta wanted to laugh, but unexpectedly, found tears in her eyes instead. "And I can't believe you're still with me, after all the things I did to hurt you. I really, really don't deserve you."

Billy pulled her closer. "Marletta, stop. You don't deserve me, but I don't deserve you either. Nobody deserves love like this. It's a gift, babe. The good stuff in life is all a gift. And when you get a gift, you don't think about whether you deserve it or not. You just say thank you."

Marletta pressed her face into Billy's chest, appreciating the incredible gift her husband was to her, and trying to silence the voices in her head that said she wasn't worthy and the happiness she felt now was only a dream.

*************************

**I would really, really love some comments. Please let me know what you think!**


	19. Jenny: Chapter 19

**Author's note: Please be advised that the next four chapters of this story (ch. 19-22) are very traumatic. If you would like to continue following the story but don't want to read this part, please send me a PM, and I'll send you a summary.**

**PART V: JENNY**

**Present Day**

As Marletta thought back to that trip, she realized that her fears on the cruise were prescient. She was about to enter the darkest chapter of her life, in which her most hardened scabs would be ripped open, and the truth about who she really was exposed: a woman whose children would pay for her past… a woman who had failed her daughter.

**Chapter 19**

"You're not going back to work tonight, are you?"

Billy started coughing as soon as he tried to answer. "Got to, babe. I've got a big trial that starts next week, and I've already missed too many days as it is."

A bad bug had gone through the whole household that January, knocking the ailing one out for three or four days before he or she could return to work or school. Billy had been the last to catch it and today had been his first day back at work, but he followed his usual practice of coming home in time for dinner.

Marletta gave him a hug. "All right, but take it easy, okay? And be careful on the roads. The temperature is supposed to drop tonight, and it might get icy."

Marletta's memories of that evening always played back in slow motion, although nothing unusual happened: she looked over the children's homework. She had to remind them as always to complete their chores and get off the phone or the computer and go to bed. She changed into her nightwear and sat up watching TV while she waited for Billy to get home.

She awoke with a start at about 2:30 in the morning. The lights and television were still on, but Billy wasn't in bed. She got up and walked downstairs to see if he was in another part of the house. He wasn't. She dialed his cell phone and got no response, so she tried his work phone number. Still no answer. Where was he?

Marletta sat down in a chair, trying to quell her fear, unsure what she should do. Billy would _never_ not come home without calling to let her know what was going on.

She didn't realize she had drifted off until the sound of the doorbell woke her. She was startled at first, perplexed about how she came to be sitting downstairs in the middle of the night. Then she remembered: Billy wasn't home. Her heart jumped in excitement for a second—maybe that was him, although it was strange that he wasn't using his key.

The doorbell rang again and she raced to answer it. She felt her chest constrict as she saw two police officers standing there. "Excuse me, ma'am," one said, "is this the home of William Darcy?"

"Hey, Marletta, who's ringing the bell at this hour?" she heard an irritated voice say. She looked up to see George standing at the top of the stairs, wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants and rubbing his eyes.

"Go back to bed, George," she said sharply.

George spotted the officers at the door. "What's the 5-0 doing here?"

"Go back to bed!" she yelled. George reacted immediately to the harshness of her tone and disappeared from sight.

"Are you William Darcy's wife?" one man said, as she turned back to the door.

"Yes," her voice quaked. "Where's my husband?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Your husband was in an accident."

"How is he?" she whispered.

The older of the two men shook his head. "We're very sorry. He didn't make it."

Marletta pressed both hands over her mouth to suppress her scream. Nothing at that moment seemed real, as the men continued to talk. They were saying something about accompanying them to identify the body.

"I have three children," she said.

"Is there someone you can call who can stay with them?"

Susan. She had to call Susan. Lois and Jeff lived closer, but she couldn't call them. Billy was Lois' little brother. This was going to kill her.

"My friend," she said. "I have to call my girlfriend."

"We can wait until she gets here."

"No, no. They're teenagers and she has a key. I want to get this over with."

Seeing Billy's body was the most horrific thing she had ever experienced, and this time she did scream. She wanted to touch him, to hold him, to pull him back together, but she couldn't. For some reason, she absurdly thought of Humpty Dumpty, and wanted to laugh amid her tears.

They kept asking her questions. He had crossed over a median on the highway. It was icy, and the truck that hit him couldn't stop. Why was he out at that hour? Did she think he might have been drinking?

"No, no, NO!" she cried. "Billy wasn't a drinker. He was at work. He had been sick, and he'd missed a lot of work…"

They seemed skeptical. They were going to check his blood alcohol level. They kept talking and asking and she wanted to cover her ears and drown them all out.

Suddenly it got quiet. They had left her alone. She looked up and saw Susan standing there. "Why aren't you with my kids?!" she snarled.

Susan ignored her angry words and threw her arms around Marletta. Now she could no longer hold back her grief and she started sobbing in agony. Susan held her tightly, even as Marletta banged her fists against Susan's back.

When Marletta's weeping finally subsided to occasional burping sobs, Susan, having no tissue, offered her jacket for Marletta to wipe her face on.

"What about my children?" Marletta asked.

Susan's face was damp, too. "I called Marcus, and he went over to stay with them. I thought you might need me more."

"How am I going to tell them," Marletta said, bursting into tears again.

Susan rubbed her back. "Marcus and I will be with you," she said. "We'll stay with you the whole time."

"I have to call Lois and Jeff," she said.

"We'll call them. Okay? Just get through telling the kids."

The police finally let her go, telling her they'd call if they had more information or question

When she and Susan arrived home, it was morning and the children were awake. Marcus was sitting with them in the den. From their worried expressions, Marletta could tell that they knew something was up, and that it was bad. The children looked at her and waited for her to speak.

George was the first to react. "No," he uttered, his face contorted in rage. "Fuck that!" He got up and ran upstairs and slammed the door to his room.

"You're lying, Mom," Jenny said quietly.

Marletta looked at her daughter, tears in her eyes. "I wouldn't lie about this, honey."

"YOU'RE LYING!" Jenny screamed. "LIAR! LIAR!" She also turned and ran up to her room.

Will was the only one who hadn't said anything yet. He was staring into space, his face blank.

"Will?" Marletta said.

"I'm fine," he replied curtly. "I'm going outside to play ball."

Now that the sun was up, the temperature had risen above freezing and the black ice on their driveway had melted. Marletta could hear Will dribbling the basketball.

A short time later, her sister-in-law and brother-in-law arrived, along with Chuck, the only one of their three children still at home. George and Jenny eventually came back downstairs. George turned on the Xbox and started playing some violent game that Marletta normally objected to. She didn't have the heart to say anything about it now. She wanted to shoot something, too.

Jenny sat down next to Marletta, who put an arm around her shoulder. Jenny pressed her face into her mother's side like a small child, rather than the long-legged fourteen-year-old she was.

The eight of them sat there in the den in silence for what seemed like hours. The only sounds were Jenny's occasional weeping, the beeps and pows of George's game, and the rhythm of the bouncing basketball outside. Soon, the sounds outside changed. Marletta jumped a little as she heard a loud BANG against the side of the house. Will was slamming the ball against the house. It would damage the paint, but who cared? It didn't matter anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore.

******************************

**Author's note: **This section was a very difficult one to write, because this happened to my family. I was Will's age when my father died, my sister was George's age, and my brother was Jenny's age. A lot of what I have written here was drawn from my own memories.

What you have read here is a major source of my inspiration to write, "Lofty Dreams." I had often wondered what it was like for the original P&P's Darcy to have experienced his parents' deaths at such a young age. For me, I know my dad's death was the defining event of my teen years and twenties. Yet the original doesn't really explore the topic at all, except for the sense you get that Mr. Darcy is more serious than other young men because of the responsibilities he had to take on at a young age.

"Lofty Dreams" ended up being a teen story in part because I wanted to make my Darcy the age I was at my father's death, and then ponder the question of what it would have been like to have someone like Elizabeth Bennet come into his life a short time later.


	20. Jenny: Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Marletta shivered from the cold and from anxiety as she started her car. She was leaving work early one afternoon in late February in order to attend two appointments.

The first was with Carol Barski, the assistant principal at Pemberley High School. After waiting a few minutes in the main office, Marletta was escorted by Mrs. Barski to a small room containing a round table and several comfortable chairs.

"Thank you for coming, Mrs. Darcy," Mrs. Barski said as they sat down. "I assume you know why I called you in?"

Marletta nodded. "I know we need to come up with a way to deal with George's behavior."

"It's more than just the fights and the suspensions. George has been cutting class frequently and he's not turning in any homework. At this point, he's failing most of his classes."

Marletta bit her lip. "I used to be really on top of making sure his homework got done, and I just haven't been lately. I'll start doing that again."

"I appreciate that, but that's not really what I think George needs at this point. I don't know whether or not you're aware of this, but several of his teachers have expressed concern that they think George, when he does show up, is coming to class high. His eyes are red, he seems to be out of it, and he sometimes falls asleep."

Oh, great. Now he was using drugs. This was all she needed. Marletta sighed heavily.

"Mrs. Darcy, your family has suffered a terrible tragedy, and for someone with George's history, it's probably even harder to deal with. I've been in touch with his social worker, and both of us agree that George would benefit from grief counseling. If he is indeed using drugs, he may also need some drug counseling."

Marletta nodded, so Mrs. Barski continued. "We've worked with the Meryton Family Resource Center in the past when students here have experienced tough situations or tragedies. They're very good with teenagers. I have their card."

Marletta took the card and stared at it for a few seconds. "How about Will? You said you wanted to talk to me about him, too. How is he doing?"

"Will is doing better. His work isn't at the same level of quality it used to be, but he is completing it all. He's more subdued in class than he used to be, but he's well-behaved. My concern wasn't so much about how he's doing in school as how he's doing overall."

"What do you mean?"

"It's the same concern I have about George. Will might seem to be okay on the surface, but there's probably a lot more going on underneath. I think the grief counseling would be helpful for Will also. Probably for your entire family."

Marletta sighed again. "Thank you. I'll think about… no, I'll call them."

Mrs. Barski rose and held her hand out to Marletta. "Thank you again for coming in. I want you to know that the entire faculty here at Pemberley is committed to supporting the boys in any way we can."

Marletta's next stop was at Lambton Middle School, where Jenny was an eighth grader. She met with Jenny's guidance counselor, Lynne Perry.

Ms. Perry wasted no time in getting to the point. "I'm very worried about Jenny. She's not completing any of her schoolwork, her teachers say she is non-responsive in class, and she recently quit both the band and the girls' basketball team."

Marletta's shoulders slumped. She was overwhelmed by the day's bad news. "I'll talk to her," she said quietly, and then reached for her purse on the floor in order to prepare to leave.

"Jenny needs more than just talking, Mrs. Darcy," Ms. Perry replied. "I think she might be experiencing depression. It's not surprising given what she's gone through, but talking isn't going to address it. She really needs counseling. I have a recommendation—"

"I was just at the high school about my boys, and they told me about the Meryton Family Resource Center."

Ms. Perry nodded. "That's who I was going to recommend. They're very good. I would be more than willing to do anything I can to facilitate your family getting connected with them."

They talked for a few more minutes, during which Ms. Perry tried hard to reassure Marletta that everything would be all right. "Teens are very resilient," she said. "Jenny has a lot to overcome, but I know she'll get through it."

By the time Marletta left, she was feeling a little more hopeful, and was still willing to meet Adrienne for coffee. Adrienne had been very supportive in the first few weeks after Billy's death, organizing their Pemberley neighbors to bring food to the Darcy family and help with household tasks. She had called Marletta several times recently to say she wanted to get together to see how Marletta was doing. Given her half day off from work, Marletta had finally agreed—although she had been sorely tempted several times that day to call Adrienne to cancel.

They met at the Hearth and Home, a café that had opened in Pemberley's town center about three years earlier. The place lived up to its name, filled with exposed brick walls, comfy sofas and chairs, and a large fireplace in the center in which a fire was roaring. Marletta spotted Adrienne sitting at a small table with an open laptop in front of her.

Adrienne stood up to hug Marletta. "Welcome to my office," she said with a grin.

"This is where you do your work?"

"Oh, yeah. I've been here almost every day since it opened. I love this place. Since I'm producing a lot, my editor loves it, too."

A waiter approached and handed Marletta a menu. She ordered a chai tea with soymilk and a blueberry muffin. "What are you drinking?" she asked Adrienne, nodding at the cup in front of her.

"A double espresso."

Marletta laughed, for the first time that day. "Double espresso? You need that?"

Adrienne pointed to the fireplace and chuckled. "Yep, otherwise that fire would put me to sleep. And that, my editor _wouldn't_ be happy about."

"How's your family?"

"Doing well. Evan's in the middle of the college acceptance waiting game now."

"What's his top choice?"

"Harvard. Jim really wanted him to go to his alma mater, MIT, but Evan just isn't the techie geek his dad is."

"How's Kayla?"

"Good. She's going to Belize during spring break for that service project the sophomores are planning. She's really excited about it. Hey, are Will and George going to go?"

Marletta shook her head. "Will asked me about it, but I just can't see letting one of my children travel out of the country at this time."

Adrienne nodded understandingly. She then took Marletta's hands in her own. "How about you, Marletta? How are you doing, and the children?"

The waiter returned with Marletta's muffin and tea, and she took a few bites and sips before telling Adrienne about the day's meetings.

"Have you considered sending George back?" Adrienne asked. "It might make all the stuff you're dealing with easier. I don't think anyone would fault you if you didn't keep George."

Marletta looked at Adrienne in disbelief. All the tension of the day welled up within her. "How could you suggest such a thing? George has been a part of our family for almost three years! If something happened to Jim, you would never think of getting rid of one of your kids just because things got tough! The longest George ever stayed anywhere was a year before he came to live with us. He's already lost Billy; how could I take the only stability he has left away from him?"

When she had finally vented, Marletta exhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, Adrienne. I'm just upset about everything. I shouldn't take it out on you."

Adrienne shook her head. "No, Marletta, I owe you an apology. You're right. I just said something incredibly insensitive and stupid."

Marletta stayed at the café for an hour, and then told Adrienne she needed to head home. When she arrived at about four-thirty, she knew immediately that George was home from the sound of 50 Cent shaking the walls. She entered the den and turned the stereo down. George barely noticed, engrossed, as usual, in a game on the Xbox. The room was a disaster, with schoolbooks, dirty socks, soda pop cans and the remains of junk food everywhere.

"George," she said. "George!" she had to repeat several times, each time louder, until he finally looked up.

"George, this place is a mess. And why isn't dinner started?"

"It's Will's turn." George turned back to his game.

One of the issues Marletta and Billy had hashed out in marriage counseling several years earlier was chores for the kids. Marletta was against the idea, since she wanted her kids to have the childhood she never had, and most of their friends didn't have chores to do. "That's because their families have household help, which we can't afford," Billy argued. "This is crazy, Marletta. Our kids are nine and eleven, more than old enough to help out around the house. You work all day. You shouldn't have to come home and wait on them, too."

Marletta had remained stubborn in her refusal to give the kids chores until their counselor pointed out something to her. "You keep talking about what you want for your kids now. You haven't said much about the kind of adults you want them to grow up to be. Don't you want them to be responsible and competent?"

Marletta could see the wisdom of this perspective, and she and Billy began to assign chores to the children. Even though they could now afford a cleaning woman who came in twice a week, on a daily basis the kids were responsible for cooking, dishes, laundry, and general upkeep of the house.

Marletta snatched the controls out of George's hands. "Hey!" he cried out.

"Do I have to break this game to get your attention? Clean up this room!"

"A lot of this stuff is Will's. Why don't you make him do it?"

"Because he's at school right now. Speaking of which, why aren't you there?"

George wasn't big on student activities, unlike Will, who was involved in track and field, the glee club, student council and a few others. But she and Billy had insisted that George do something after school, and since few part time jobs were available in Pemberley, he joined intramural sports and the photography club, which usually kept him at school until five. Why he wasn't there now, she didn't know.

"Are you sure that's where Will is?" George mumbled under his breath.

"What's the supposed to mean?"

George didn't answer.

"Look, George, I met with Mrs. Barski today. She said you're flunking all your classes. You're not going to play this damn game anymore until your chores and your homework are done."

He glared at her, but stood up and began a half-hearted effort at straightening the room.

Marletta walked upstairs to change clothes. She passed Jenny's room and spotted her sitting cross-legged on her bed, the door slightly ajar. She was surprised at first to see her daughter at home, until she remembered what Ms. Perry had told her.

Marletta poked her head in. Jenny was wearing an iPod, bouncing her head to the music while writing in her journal. Marletta walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. Jenny looked up and pulled out her earphones.

"Why didn't you tell me you quit band and basketball?"

Jenny shrugged.

"Don't you think I ought to know about something like that?"

When Jenny didn't respond, Marletta sat down next to her. "I didn't give you permission to sit on my bed," Jenny said.

Marletta glowered. "I bought this bed. I don't need your permission." She waited a few seconds and then said, "Jenny, I talked to your guidance counselor today. I know you're not doing well in school right now. Before you go to bed, we need to talk."

Will came home a short time later and made dinner. When they sat down to eat, George started in on Will. "This is some dry-ass chicken, Will. Dry-ass, salty chicken."

"Shut up," Will retorted. "If you don't like it, don't eat it."

"I'm thinking about that. Wish we had a dog to feed it to."

Jenny started snickering, which seemed to encourage George to continue. Marletta stepped in. "Stop it, George, right now. You're the better cook, but Will is trying. The last thing I need is for you two to start fighting, after the day I've had."

The kids quieted down. In the silence, Marletta noticed that Jenny was picking at her food but had hardly eaten any. "Jenny, you need to eat."

"How's she supposed to eat some dry-ass, salty chicken?" George said, and both he and Jenny burst out laughing. Will threw his napkin on the table in annoyance.

"Stop it!" Marletta yelled. The kids shut up again, but it was too late. Marletta already had a headache.

"Mom, can I take my road test this Saturday?" Will asked.

"No."

"Why not? You let George get his license the day after his birthday."

"Fat lot of good it does me," George said. "It's not like she's letting me drive these days."

Marletta shot a warning look at George. "I said no, Will. I don't want to discuss it."

"That's not fair, Mom. You always said I could get my license as soon I turned sixteen. My birthday was two weeks ago."

"Will, that was before—" Marletta stopped suddenly. She didn't need to continue. The kids knew what she meant.

The table became quiet again. Jenny continued to push food around on her plate. At one point, her fork scraped the plate surface, making a screeching noise that shot right to Marletta's head. "JENNY, STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR FOOD AND EAT!" she screamed.

Jenny looked at her mother and tears welled in her eyes. She stood up abruptly and ran to her room.

"Nice," George said.

Marletta rested her elbows on the table and rubbed her fingers against her pounding forehead. "Listen, there's something we need to discuss as a family. I visited your school and Jenny's school today, and in both places I was told that the staff have a lot of concerns about all three of you. They strongly suggested that we start grief counseling. I think they're right."

"Grief counseling, what's that?" George said angrily. "Some people who are going to tell us we need to feel better about Billy dying?" His voice cracked. "Nothing will ever make me feel better about it, and nothing will ever bring him back."

George stood and left the table, leaving Marletta alone with Will. Marletta didn't know what to say. A huge part of her agreed with George.

"Mom, can I _please_ take my road test this Saturday?"

Marletta looked at her son, feeling defeated. "Can you wait until it's warmer, Will? I just can't let you do it now. Not when there's still ice and snow on the ground."

Will looked disappointed, but he nodded.

After she finished eating, Marletta went upstairs and knocked on Jenny's door. Jenny didn't answer, so Marletta opened the door and walked in anyway. Jenny was sitting on the bed and George was next to her, his arm around Jenny's shoulder.

"Jenny, I'm really sorry," Marletta said. "I shouldn't have yelled at you."

Jenny didn't respond, and Marletta felt in that moment that her daughter was slipping away from her. She didn't know what else to do, so she reminded Jenny it was her turn to do the dishes, and then left the room.


	21. Jenny: Chapter 21

**Author's Note: **Angst/trauma warning continues in this and the next chapter.

**Chapter 21**

The weeks rolled on to a perpetual sameness. Joy and laughter would never be a part of Marletta's life again, she was sure of it. The nights were the hardest. She didn't miss sex as much as she missed Billy's presence in their bed. Some nights she awoke and reached for him, as she had done so often in the past, only to feel the shock once more of the cold sheets and empty place beside her. She thought about her lifelong dream to be rich, and how it had come true when they received the inheritance from Billy's parents. Now she would gladly give all the money back just to have another day with Billy.

The children had all begun grief counseling. The boys attended two sessions each, after which both refused to go back. When asked why, Will said, "He keeps asking me how I feel. How am I supposed to know how I feel?" George was seething after both sessions and refused to talk about why. Marletta agreed to let him stop going only if he began going to class and doing his schoolwork again. So far, he had complied.

Jenny was a different story, fortunately. She saw both a psychologist and a psychiatrist and seemed to like them both. When the former, Dr. Martin, suggested putting Jenny on antidepressants, Marletta had balked. "Aren't those supposed to be really bad for teenagers?"

"Teens don't always respond the same way adults do, that's true," Dr. Martin said. "But we can prevent problems by starting Jenny with low doses, observing her closely, and making adjustments based on her response."

"Is it really necessary, though? I'd rather not have Jenny on any medications."

Dr. Martin nodded sympathetically. "I'd say it is. Right now we need to get Jenny to a place where she's functioning in her daily life. Only then can we start addressing all the emotional things she's going through with therapy."

Marletta had finally agreed, and so far, Jenny seemed to be responding well. She was eating and sleeping and doing better in school, although she hadn't resumed any of her extracurricular activities. Her emotions seemed brighter, too, even though she still had occasional days in which her dark moods returned.

Tax season came around, and with it the long hours that Marletta needed to work. When she arrived at work one morning during the second half of April, her boss approached her desk. "Marletta, I know you've had a tough several months and you really pushed through the last month. You must be really worn out. Why don't you take today off? In fact, take the next few days off, if you want."

Marletta was surprised. Her by-the-books boss had never been so generous with her before. But he was right—she was exhausted, and the chance to go home and catch up on sleep without the kids around was a welcome respite.

When she arrived at home, a sickly-sweet smell assaulted her nostrils, one that always reminded her of high school and the bathrooms that perpetually reeked of it—weed. Her temper flared immediately as she went in search of George.

Did he think he could get rid of the smell before she came home in the evening? How stupid did he think she was? About a month ago, she had found a plastic bag of the stuff, along with rolling papers, hidden behind some books on a shelf. When she had confronted him with it, he had denied knowing anything about it, and claimed it belonged to Will. Will denied it, too, and she was inclined to believe him, given that George was the one whose teachers suspected him of getting high. The boys began lobbing a series of accusations against each other that evening, ending with Will yelling, "We should kick you out of our house! You're not a part of this family; I am! We've been letting your sorry ass live here for too long!"

His words silenced George. He turned and looked at Marletta, his eyes wild with fear and insecurity. The needy child expression George had worn when he first came to their home was back, and it broke down the anger Marletta felt. "George, you _are_ a part of this family. We need to deal with this"—she held up the baggie—"but you're not going anywhere."

That evening had ended with promises from George that he would stay away from drugs and that he'd go back to counseling. And he had, initially. Then tax season hit, and Marletta became too busy and tired to stay on top of him. She decided to assume he was continuing to make positive changes, because it was easier that way.

Now she was angry. How could he break her trust, AGAIN? She followed the smell up the stairs. She stopped at George's room and opened the door, but it was empty. But the smell was definitely on the second floor. Marletta walked toward Jenny's room, and the smell grew stronger. Her heart started beating faster as she opened the door.

She spotted the joint, smoke drifting upward from it, on a plate on Jenny's nightstand. And then she spotted them.

George and Jenny were lying on her bed, unclothed, sharing a passionate kiss. From their hands in furious motion between each other's legs, they probably hadn't yet copulated, but were fast approaching that point.

_It was springtime, and she was seventeen. Melvin came home that day and gave her a leering grin. "Hey, Marletta," he said, his half-closed eyelids barely cloaking his malicious expression, "word on the street is that you one of the biggest ho's out there."_

Marletta screamed. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"_You giving it away to everybody else, but you forgot about me."_

George and Jenny both looked up, startled.

"_Let go of me, Melvin," Marletta cried, as she tried to loosen her arm from his grasp._

Marletta grabbed George by the shoulders and yanked him away from Jenny. "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!" she screamed.

_She tried to pull away, but he was too strong for her. He pushed her down roughly and started ripping at her clothes_

George tumbled to the floor and grabbed a T-shirt lying there to cover himself. He tried to duck and evade Marletta's reach as she started kicking him and swinging at him wildly.

"_Don't do, this, Melvin, please!" Marletta begged. "I'm your sister!"_

Marletta felt hands clawing and pounding on her own back. It was Jenny. "Stop it, Mommy, stop!" she cried.

"_You always thought you was better than me," Melvin sneered. "Let's see how good you are now!"_

Marletta had to stop attacking George in order to restrain Jenny. She turned and grabbed Jenny's wrists tightly while her daughter struggled to break free. George used the opportunity to grab his clothes and flee from the room.

_Over and over and over. Marletta tried to tune out the pain of what Melvin was doing to her. He used his hands to pin her wrists to the floor so tightly that her fingers grew numb._

She was holding her daughter's wrists the same way. Marletta released Jenny suddenly, and then fell to her knees in tears. Jenny collapsed onto her bed, sobbing.

_Marletta thought that it would never end, but finally Melvin spent himself. He smacked her just for the hell of it before standing and zipping up his pants._

No! She couldn't allow the memories of what Melvin did to her to cloud her thinking. She had to pull herself together and deal with Jenny, here and now.

Marletta wiped her face with her hands. "Get up and get dressed, Jenny!"

Jenny continued to lay there, face down and legs bent, crying.

Marletta rose, walked to the bed, and pushed Jenny to a supine position. "I said, get up and get dressed!" She looked around the floor until she saw Jenny's clothes and tossed them to her. Jenny sat up and slowly began to put her clothes on.

"What have you been doing with him, Jenny?" she asked harshly, when her daughter was fully clothed.

"I hate you," Jenny whispered.

"How long have you been having sex with him, Jenny?" Marletta grabbed her daughter's shoulders and began to shake her. "Answer me! How could you let him do that to you?"

"He didn't do anything to me!" Jenny screamed. "I wanted him to! I love him!"

Marletta stopped suddenly. She understood. She knew how empty she had felt when she lost her father figure, Mason. She understood what it was like to feel lonely and unloved and to have a guy offer to provide the comfort and male affirmation she craved in his bed. And she knew all too well what a deception that was.

This wasn't supposed to happen. Not to her daughter. Not in Pemberley.

Marletta reached out to touch Jenny, but Jenny pulled away from her. Marletta's heart was breaking for her baby. "I'll leave you alone now," she said. "I love you, Jenny."

Marletta searched the entire house to make sure George was really gone. He was, so she called a locksmith to come change all the locks. Then she called Marcus and left a message on his cell phone about what had happened.

Marcus called back about 12:30. "I'm in court right now, but on break for lunch. I'll be over this evening."

After the locksmith left, Marletta fell asleep on the sofa for several hours. She awoke with a start and went to check on Jenny. She was lying on her bed as Marletta had left her, and once more resisted any efforts by her mother to touch her or speak to her.

At about 5:20, Will rang the doorbell because his key wouldn't work. "What did he do?" Will demanded, when she told him she'd kicked George out and changed the locks.

Marletta hesitated.

Will's face became ashen. "Did he do something to Jenny?"

Marletta remained silent, but her expression must have given the answer away. Will turned and bounded up the stairs.

He returned a few minutes later. "She won't talk to me, Mom. What did George do to her?"

Marletta had made a decision while Will was upstairs. "I'm going to tell you, Will, but I don't want to tell the story twice. Marcus will be here soon, and I'll let you know everything then."

Marcus arrived about six PM. As she told the story, she watched Will with concern. His face was smoldering and he kept clinching his fists.

Marcus noticed, too, and put a hand on Will's shoulder. "I can see what you're thinking, Will, but you don't want to do anything foolish. We'll come up with a plan to deal with this." He turned to Marletta. "Have you called his social worker yet?"

"No."

"Then that's the first thing you need to do, tomorrow morning."

"Can I have him arrested?" Marletta asked.

Marcus grimaced. "Doubtful. In this state, sex between minors isn't illegal if both are over the age of 12 and there's less than four years' age difference between them. We'd have to prove it wasn't consensual, and that would be hard to do since Jenny is saying it is."

"What about for the marijuana?"

"That would be tough, too, since you'd have to implicate Jenny."

"Can I get a restraining order? I'm so afraid he's going to try to contact her again."

Marcus shook his head. "If it were possible, Marletta, I'd do whatever I could to throw that boy in jail. But to get a restraining order, Jenny would have to be willing to make a statement against him."

Marletta closed her eyes, afraid she would start crying.

"Look, Marletta, what we can do is get an 'unofficial' restraining order."

"What's that?"

"I have some friends on both the Meryton and Pemberley police forces. They can pay a little visit to George and let him know they have their eye on him and to stay away from Jenny."

"How will they know where to find him?"

"He's a kid without resources. He can't go very far. I know some private detectives who can search for him. He's technically a ward of the state, so the state also bears some responsibility to try to find him."

Marletta looked down, on the verge of tears again. "I guess my biggest question is what to do about Jenny."

Marcus reached over and squeezed her hand. "She's going to need your love more than ever."


	22. Jenny: Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Jenny never came out of her room that evening. At nine o'clock, Marletta entered her daughter's room and lay down on the bed beside her. Jenny didn't object, so after a few minutes, Marletta moved closer and draped an arm over her. A short while later, she heard the slow, even breathing of sleep. Marletta looked at Jenny's face, so peaceful and sweet in slumber, and knew that her days of youthful innocence were gone. She kissed Jenny's cheek and rose to go to her own room.

Sleep wouldn't come to Marletta that night. Clamoring recriminations filled her head. This was all her fault. The last month, she had hardly been home. Nothing unusual for her during tax season. But why the hell was she still working in the first place? It had been years since she had needed the income her job provided. She knew that all the reasons in her head—she had worked her entire adult life, except for her maternity leaves; she was proud of her professional accomplishments; working kept her mind off Billy—were just excuses now. She should have been home for her daughter, not leaving her alone every day after school with that pervert.

Marletta thought about what Adrienne had said weeks earlier at the coffee shop. "No one would fault you if you didn't keep George." That was her first mistake. She should have listened to Adrienne, and because she didn't, her daughter had paid the price. _You stupid bitch,_ Marletta lambasted herself. _You stupid, stupid bitch! You didn't protect your first child; no wonder you can't protect your children now!_

Her first child. Where had that come from? Marletta wrapped her arms around herself and suddenly felt shooting pains in her abdomen—phantom pain from a long-forgotten memory. She curled into a fetal position on her bed as she tried to stop the physical agony and the emotional anguish that rapidly flooded the forefront of her consciousness.

*********************

_After Melvin left, Marletta lay on the floor for a long time. She had vomited several times, but she didn't care. Her whole body ached, and her vagina was searing fire. She heard the doorknob jiggling. Her mother walked in, stumbling and reeking of alcohol. She spotted Marletta on the floor._

"_Whatchu doing laying there like a dummy?" she chortled. Then she went to her room and shut the door._

_Nothing could be worse than what Melvin had done to her, and yet, it was her mother's words that were unbearable. If she had ever needed proof that her mother cared nothing about her, she now had it. Even Mason's imprisonment hadn't broken Marletta, but now her heart broke. She had to leave. She couldn't stay here anymore._

_She finally rose and went to the bathroom. Lowering herself into the bathtub was agonizing, and the water burned the tender flesh between her legs. But she had to do it; she had to wash his filth off her._

_When she finished, she dressed and filled her backpack with underwear, socks and an extra T-shirt and pair of jeans. She didn't know where she could go, but anywhere was better than remaining at home another minute._

_She was in luck. She ran into Desmond, a guy she knew from around the way. He was in his thirties, good looking, with a short Afro and a front tooth capped in gold._

"_You're not looking so good, Marletta," he said. "What's going on with you?"_

"_Family's wacked," she said, as nonchalantly as she could. "I need a place to stay. You know where I could find one?"_

"_Come stay with me, baby. I'll take care of you."_

_And he had. She had food to eat and a warm bed to sleep in. She stopped going to school, but she was so close to graduation she didn't think it mattered. She didn't go out much. She didn't want to take the chance of running into Melvin._

_Of course, Desmond's generosity came at a price, but Marletta had expected that. Still, he was one of the better men she had been with, at least until the day he caught her throwing up in the toilet. Desmond had other women and Marletta knew it—they called all the time. That didn't seem to matter. What mattered was that Marletta had been unfaithful, since he always used a condom with her. He told her to get out._

_Marletta found herself huddled in the doorstep of an abandoned storefront that night, barely able to keep dry in the driving rain. She was alone, but it didn't matter. She would have a baby soon. She wondered if her child would be a freak, since Melvin was such a freak. NO! She wouldn't allow it. She would will her child to be healthy and beautiful. And Melvin was only her half-brother, after all. This baby would fill the hole in her heart that was created when Manette moved out. Marletta remembered how much she had loved cuddling and playing with her nephew and nieces. Now she would have her own little one to love._

_She needed help, though. Her baby wouldn't survive if she didn't have food to eat. She walked to her sister's apartment in the projects and knocked on the door._

_Manette answered. "Girl, what happened to you?" _

"_Mimi, I need a place to stay."_

"_You can't stay here. Welfare comes and checks up on us. I can't have anybody else living here."_

"_Mimi, please."_

"_Go back home, Cat. Wait. Y'all didn't get evicted, did you?"_

"_I'm pregnant."_

_Manette turned her head with a look of disgust. "Girl, don't tell me you got yourself knocked up! You didn't learn your lesson from my example? Now you definitely can't stay here. Even if it was allowed, I can't feed one more mouth, let alone two."_

"_I'll work, Mimi, please, I gotta stay here."_

_Manette continued to refuse her, and finally ended up slamming the door in Marletta's face._

_The slammed door was symbolic. Marletta knew that from that moment on, her family would cease to exist for her. They had utterly abandoned her, so she had to leave them, too. She would never look back._

_A week later, Marletta was starving. She had stolen a few candy bars and traded sex for a few meals, but it wasn't enough to fill the ache in her belly. Her hunger pains were so fierce that she didn't recognize the powerful uterine cramping at first. When she did, she raced to a gas station bathroom. When she saw the bloody pulp she discharged, she knew what had happened._

_Her tears hadn't yet subsided when someone needing the bathroom banged on the door. She exited and wandered the streets, eyes peeled to the ground until she found a dime to make a phone call. She called Susan._

"_Where have you been, Marletta? I've been so worried about you! Melvin is talking all kinds of mess about you in the streets."_

"_Melvin's gone crazy," Marletta answered, still crying. "I had to leave home. I need your help."_

"_Let me tell my dad, and we'll come pick you up."_

"_No! Don't tell your parents. Please, Susan."_

"_OK, then how about this. My cousin Vanessa is 26, and she has her own car and apartment. Can I call her and have her come get you? She won't tell anybody and she'll probably let you stay with her."_

_Marletta agreed, and sat down on a bus stop bench to wait._

*********************

Marletta never told anyone what happened, not even Susan and Vanessa. It was hard enough living with the pain of knowing that her baby had died, and that it was her fault. She should have been able to protect the child growing in her womb. If she couldn't do that, what kind of woman was she? Now she knew. This was why she hadn't wanted kids. She knew she didn't deserve them, didn't deserve to be a mother. The knowledge hurt so badly, she had driven it from her mind, and hadn't even remembered being pregnant. This was why she had created so many fantasies for herself: to forget.

Marletta curled up tighter, her anguish unbearable. If Billy had known this, he never would have married her, never would have stayed with her. And now Billy was gone, and Will and Jenny were stuck with an evil bitch for a mother, one who would destroy them just as she had done her first child. "Why did you have to die, Billy!" she cried.

Billy. Billy. Billy. This was his fault. If he hadn't died, he could have stopped this. No, it was worse than that. He had brought George into their lives. Marletta had left Longbourn City behind, had gotten out, had moved to Pemberley, and had all the money she needed to buy her children whatever they wanted. But the street life had followed her anyway. She couldn't escape it. And Billy had brought it back. Stupid, stupid Billy, with his eternal optimism and always seeing the good side of people. He grew up in Netherfield Park, for God's sakes! With a mother and father who loved him, with a sister who would never abandon him. What did he understand about the world Marletta came from, that George came from? He didn't, and he thought everyone was as good as he was, and he stupidly brought evil right to their doorstep and into their home and allowed it to destroy their daughter. And then he left her, an evil witch who didn't deserve kids, behind to pick up the pieces. "You lied to me, Billy," Marletta whispered. "You said you would never leave me. You lied."


	23. Liz: Chapter 23

**The Bennets are on the scene! Now Marletta is really ready to morph into Lady Catherine…**

**Part VI:Liz**

**PRESENT DAY**

One aspect of Marletta's past caused her almost as much shame as her betrayal of Billy and her failure to protect Jenny. That was her treatment of Liz.

In the aftermath of Billy's death and everything that had happened to Jenny, Marletta was filled with a free-floating wrath looking for a target. She found her mark in a pretty young woman from Longbourn City named Elizabeth.

Even now, it was hard to comprehend why Liz had enraged Marletta so much. She had been a middle-aged woman, and Liz merely a teenage girl. But at seventeen, Liz was so many things that Marletta hadn't been at her age, and her very existence felt like a slap in the face to her.

Marletta had lived in a dysfunctional environment as a teen. Liz was from a loving, if quirky, family.

Marletta had been reserved and insecure. Liz was confident and outspoken.

Marletta had been engaged in promiscuity. Liz was still pure

But Liz's biggest sin in Marletta's eyes was that she stole the one thing Marletta thought she had left.

She stole her son's heart.

**CHAPTER 23: OCTOBER, MIDDLE OF THE FIRST DECADE OF NEW MILLENIUM**

Marletta examined herself in the mirror and sighed. She looked like hell. Because of her difficulty sleeping, dark bags under her eyes had become a permanent part of her features. At least her hair looked better than it had in a while. She had gone to the hairdresser that morning and had it cut short, as well as dyed to cover up the gray. She'd then needed to go shopping, since she had gained quite a bit of weight, and none of her old dresses fit anymore.

After expertly applying her makeup, Marletta felt that at least she'd be presentable to everyone else that evening. But she couldn't hide the reality from herself. The last year and a half had really taken its toll, and Marletta had let herself go.

"Mom, Jenny and I are leaving now," she heard Will shout from downstairs. Good. Jenny hadn't wanted to come to the LOFTY Dreams dinner tonight. Marletta suspected that, despite how close she was to her brother, Jenny had a tough time celebrating his success. Both kids' grades had dropped in the months after Billy's death, but Will's rebounded soon after. Jenny was still earning B's and C's, with the occasional A, usually in English.

It certainly wasn't a lack of brains. Jenny was struggling to motivate herself. Marletta tried to bite her tongue, but often her frustration slipped out in her words or tone of voice. She had been through as much as Jenny and then some as a teenager, but she had still managed to do well in school, with much less support. Why couldn't Jenny do the same thing?

At least Will had talked Jenny into spending the night with Susan. "Do you think I need a babysitter?" Jenny had huffed when Marletta suggested it.

"No, but I don't want you sitting in your room by yourself all evening, moping."

"I'm not going to mope. I might write, or listen to music. That's not moping."

"Jenny, I'm not going to argue with you! If you're not going with us, then you're staying with Susan. You're not staying home by yourself. Period!"

"God, you act like I'm a little kid. I'm fifteen!"

"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!" Marletta screamed. "You're going to Susan's, and that's final!"

As always, Jenny ran to her room in tears. Marletta hated when things ended this way, and knew it was because she had overreacted, as she so often did. Jenny's depression had worsened after the incident with George. Jenny was still doing individual therapy, and she and Jenny were going to family counseling together, and yet she still didn't know how to talk to her daughter. She didn't know how to say, "Jenny, I'm scared for you. I'm scared that if I leave you alone, you'll go into your dark hole, and I won't know how to reach you. That's why I want someone to watch over you." Even if she could say it, she didn't think Jenny would receive it well. So her fear turned into angry outbursts that seemed to drive her daughter further away from her.

At least Will was still able to connect with his sister. He had followed Jenny into her room and they'd talked for a while. About an hour later, Jenny emerged and told Marletta that it was fine, she'd stay with Susan.

Dear Susan. Marletta didn't know what she'd do without her. She had tried hard to push most of her friends away from her, but Susan had steadfastly refused to leave her side. Marcus, too, actually. She supposed some of their support was because of their love for her kids—they wanted to make sure she didn't screw them up too badly. But Marletta knew that they genuinely cared about her as well.

It was ironic that Susan and Marcus, both still single after all these years, remained such a good team, even though they were now simply friends. About a month or two after Marletta and Billy married, Susan began to prod Marcus for a commitment. As Marletta had predicted, that brought out Marcus' true colors, and he soon ended the relationship.

Marletta had been so angry with Marcus for breaking her friend's heart that she refused to allow him into their home for a long time. In fact, Susan forgave him long before than Marletta did. Marcus finally confronted her at a party at Lois and Jeff's place, when she and Billy had been married about six months. "Why do you hate me so much?" he asked her.

"I knew you were just using Susan from the beginning," she said.

"I wasn't using Susan," he argued. "She's a great lady, and I care a lot about her."

"If you cared so much, why'd you break up with her? Why doesn't she have a ring on her finger?"

"It's _because_ I care about her that I broke up with her. I know myself. I'm not the marrying kind. I wouldn't stay faithful to her and I'd end up hurting her a lot more."

"Oh, so knowing that you can't keep it in your pants makes you noble?"

She was glaring at him, and Marcus surprised her by laughing. "Damn, you won't give me a break, will you? You know, I haven't always had the best impression of you, either. I thought you were a ball-buster who was going to rip Billy to shreds."

"How dare you say something like that!" she yelled at him. "You don't know jack about my relationship with Billy! I love him!"

"I know," Marcus said gently. "I've never seen him happier. I was wrong about you. Maybe one day, you'll realize you're wrong about me, too." With that, he walked away.

Over time, her anger toward Marcus softened. She came to realize that whatever other faults he had, Marcus had been very loyal, to Susan, to Billy, to their children, and yes, even to her. He would have made a lousy husband, but he was a great friend.

Marletta heard Will re-enter the house after dropping Jenny off, and knew it was time to head downstairs.

"I can drive, right?" Will asked as they walked out to her car.

Marletta nodded. Even though Will wasn't complaining, she knew he wanted a car of his own like most of his friends had, and certainly something a lot cooler than her Volvo. But she just couldn't, due to the memory of Billy's mangled body, and too many news stories of teens killed in car accidents. So she let him drive her car fairly often to make up for it. She had already decided to buy him a car as a graduation present. She knew he'd need one for college, and she had eight months before his graduation to mentally and emotionally prepare for it.

Plus, Will had certainly earned it. Marletta was very proud of him. He was near the top of his class academically and had just been elected senior class president. She was thrilled about him receiving the LOFTY Dreams scholarship, in no small part because it required him to attend college in Greater Meryton. She had come to rely on him so much for reaching Jenny where she couldn't and for his continual good spirits that kept both her and Jenny from falling into complete depression. She couldn't imagine how they'd make it if Will were to choose an out-of-state college.

Marletta's only concern about Will was that he went through girlfriends like used bath towels. She wasn't naïve enough to think he was abstaining, and so she just hoped he was smart enough to always use protection.

The welcome dinner for the LOFTY Dreams scholarship recipients was held in one of Meryton's finest hotels. The concierge directed them to a banquet hall on the second floor. As they waited in line at the registration table, Marletta watched her son's head turn and his eyes wander down the hall. A pretty black girl was headed in their direction with her parents, and Will, of course, had noticed.

After the family ahead of them finished signing in, Marletta began to walk forward. Before she reached the table, however, the mother of the girl who'd caught Will's eye jumped in front of them. The woman looked a little young to have a teenage daughter.

"Excuse me, but I believe my son and I were next," Marletta said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you there!" the woman said. "You go right ahead."

_You should have been paying better attention,_ Marletta thought, and glared at the woman as she passed her.

"What you looking at me like that for?" the woman snapped. "I said I was sorry."

Marletta grimaced inwardly at the woman's tone. She hated it when people made scenes in public.

The woman wasn't shutting up, either. She was still shouting something as her husband spoke in a low voice to her, apparently trying to calm her down. No home training, as Susan would say. Marletta shook her head, and then noticed that Will wasn't beside her. Of course not. He was still checking out the girl.

When they entered the banquet hall, Marletta and Will took their seats at table seven. No one else was sitting at their table yet, so Marletta looked through the program, which included the evening's agenda, a brief description of the LOFTY Dreams program, and the names and high schools of the scholarship recipients.

The name of one school quickly caught her eye. Longbourn High School. Remembering the poor quality of that school when she had attended, especially compared to Pemberley High where her children were enrolled, Marletta was very surprised that a student from Longbourn would be selected for a program like this. Elizabeth Bennet was the student's name. Marletta wondered who she was, and how she had gotten this far.

A tall, handsome, dark-haired young man and a woman who appeared to be his mother approached their table. Will stood a second before she did in order to greet the new guests. Marletta smiled. She didn't have to remind him of his manners, because _he_ had "home training."

The woman and her son introduced themselves as Ingrid and Michael Allen. They lived in Meadow Glen, a very small and exclusive town a few miles from Pemberley, and Michael attended Rolling Hills Academy, a boys' prep school.

"I've heard wonderful things about Rolling Hills," Marletta said. "If the schools in Pemberley weren't so good, that's where I would have sent Will."

"Oh, you're from Pemberley!" Ingrid said brightly, while the boys began a conversation about something else altogether. "We have some great friends in Pemberley."

She named a few people, prominent families that Marletta had either heard of or been introduced to by Adrienne. Although none were more than the merest of acquaintances, Marletta was pleased that she could speak about several knowledgably.

"My husband is a venture capitalist, so he has quite a few people he's done business with in Pemberley as well," Ingrid went on. "Richard was very sorry he couldn't come tonight, because he had to be out of the country. He so much wanted to connect with several people he knew would be here."

She again began to name names, including the mayor of Meryton and the head of Metro Healthcare Systems, both of whom were listed on the program as speakers. Marletta simply nodded, a little annoyed. She noticed that Ingrid hadn't mentioned that Richard's regrets were about missing an event that would honor his son.

"And what about your husband? Is he working tonight as well?"

"No, my husband passed away almost two years ago," Marletta replied softly.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Ingrid said, glancing at Marletta's hand. "I imagine it must be especially hard, having a teenage son."

Marletta nodded again, not wanting to discuss it. It was times like these when she wondered whether or not she should remove her wedding band. She'd put away her engagement ring a year ago, but couldn't bring herself to take off the band because it would feel like cutting her final tie with Billy. Additionally, she hoped that the ring would discourage would-be suitors. It didn't seem to be a very effective deterrent, however. Marletta was shocked at how often she was hit on. She knew it wasn't because she had retained her youthful good looks, so she assumed that men sensed she was vulnerable—and rich. It confirmed something she'd always believed before she met Billy: most men were dogs.

In the next few minutes, they were joined at their table by a state senator, and the evening's program began. As Marletta listened to both the president and the executive director of the LOFTY Dreams Foundation speak about the scholarship program, her heart swelled with pride. The ten students selected were considered some of the best high school students in the metropolitan area, and the goal was to groom them to become the city's future leaders, as the acronym: "LOFTY: Leaders of the Future: Today's Youth" indicated. This was what Marletta had always dreamed of for her children, and now Will was achieving it.

The only damper on the evening was the woman she'd clashed with at the registration table. Although she was sitting several tables away, Marletta clearly heard her loud laughter and comments several times during the speeches. Several of the guests in the banquet hall glanced over, and she noticed Ingrid frowning.

Marletta felt personally embarrassed. She knew it was illogical—she didn't owe an apology for someone else's behavior, just because the woman was also African-American. Yet she feared that Ingrid or others around them would judge her or worse, judge Will, because of this woman's boorish behavior.

Maybe because of this fear, Marletta kept glancing at the woman's table. Well into the program, she noticed the woman's daughter rise and leave the banquet hall. What really disturbed her was that Will excused himself a few minutes later and followed her out. She knew that her son had looked several times in that direction, and had really hoped it wasn't because he was still watching the girl.

She grew even more worried when they came to the end of the speeches and were about to announce the students, and Will hadn't yet returned. Noticing her concern, Ingrid whispered, "Should I send Michael to look for him?" Marletta shook her head.

Michael was the first of the ten students alphabetically, and just as they announced his name, the girl rushed back in with Will right behind her.

The next name called was Elizabeth Bennet, and the girl walked to the front of the room. _That_ was her? It made sense that a student from Longbourn High was more likely to be black than any other race, but somehow, Marletta had assumed that this girl's name would be more … ethnic.

Will was the third student called. As he stood beside Elizabeth, he stared straight ahead and he wasn't smiling. Marletta wondered what was wrong. Will continued to wear an angry expression throughout the picture-taking. What on earth had happened when he and Elizabeth left the banquet hall?

Right after the program ended, most of the students remained at the front of the room, talking to each other, but Will hurried back to his seat. "Mom, let's go," he said firmly.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"George is here."

"What do you mean, he's here?" Marletta looked around. "In this room? Why would he be here?"

Will shook his head. "In the hotel. He works here. I saw him in the hallway. Please, let's just go."

Marletta could hear how upset Will was, and she shared his sentiments. She rose and quickly said goodbye to the other guests at the table. Ingrid handed her a card and asked her to keep in touch.

They drove home in silence. Marletta knew that Will was probably thinking about the same thing she was. Almost a year earlier, just after George's eighteenth birthday, he came back to their home, demanding the inheritance he said that Billy left him. When Marletta told him how to access the trust Billy had established in his name, George started swearing at her, telling her that he knew that Billy would want him to have more than just the twenty thousand or so that was in the trust. Will had jumped up to defend her, telling George that if he ever talked to his mother like that again, or ever did anything to hurt Marletta or Jenny, he would kill him. Given that Will was bigger and stronger than George, and the look on his face at that moment was deadly, George had backed down. However, Marletta had lived in terror for weeks afterward, thinking that George might return with a gun.

Bad memories of Longbourn High School and of George, all in the same night. This evening was supposed to be about celebrating Will's future, but Marletta feared that even her children would never escape the past.

******************

**Will has met Elizabeth and he's interested, but Marletta's not very happy about that. So what's she going to do? Please let me know what you think!**


	24. Liz: Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24**

As the next several months passed, nothing came of the encounter with George, and Marletta forgot about it. In fact, she had only one brief reminder of the things that troubled her that evening, during Thanksgiving.

Her sister-in-law Lois and brother-in-law Jeff hosted Thanksgiving dinner at their house. Jenny was in high spirits because Lois and Jeff's middle daughter, Tiffany, was home for the holiday. She was a senior at Spelman College, making plans to attend medical school, and Jenny adored her.

The other bit of excitement was that Lois and Jeff's youngest child, Chuck, had invited his girlfriend for dinner. Like Will, Chuck had had quite a few not-serious relationships in high school. He'd begun his freshman year at a local university and had fallen head-over-heels in love with a young woman he met there, according to Lois.

His girlfriend, Janelle, seemed to take everyone's scrutiny in good humor. At one point, Tiffany asked Janelle if she had any brothers or sisters, and Janelle replied that she had two younger sisters.

"Hey, I know one of your sisters," Will said. "Liz and I are in the LOFTY Dreams program together."

It took Marletta only about a second to figure out that Liz and Elizabeth were the same person, which meant that Janelle was also related to that uncouth woman. How could this beautiful, sweet and graceful young woman in front of her possibly be that woman's daughter?

"That's cool that you know her," Janelle replied. "Liz is really excited about being in the program."

"I was really impressed by Liz when she came to Chuck's party last month. She's such a nice girl, don't you think, Will?" Lois said.

Marletta had never seen her sister-in-law engage in such a blatant attempt at matchmaking, and given her memories of the LOFTY Dreams dinner, she wasn't at all pleased about it. Will was clearly embarrassed, too, but he just shrugged. "Yeah, she's nice," he answered, in a neutral tone.

She didn't have to worry about Will, however. He had a good head on his shoulders. She heard no further mention of Liz during the next several months, even as Will became close to Mike Allen and two of the girls in the program, Heather and Anna. Charles and Janelle also broke up during this time, rather badly, Marletta gathered—apparently Janelle had cheated on him. Although she felt bad for Chuck, Marletta was glad that she no longer had to worry about any matchmaking schemes from her sister-in-law.

During spring break in April, the students in the LOFTY Dreams program were scheduled to attend a week-long leadership retreat at the Hunsford Retreat Center. Marletta dropped Will off at the University of Meryton campus, where the young people would travel by bus to the retreat.

Liz's mother was making a fool of herself again. She was crying and loudly fussing over her daughter. "Come on, now, she's only going to be gone a week," her husband chided.

"Yeah, but it's the first time my baby has ever gone away! I'm going to miss her!"

Marletta shook her head. Oh, please. Did she think she was the only parent who would miss her child? Yet no one else was carrying on this way.

Marletta was determined to make the week without Will pleasant for her and Jenny. She took Jenny out to dinner several times and even went horseback riding with her. Since Jenny was an expert horsewoman and Marletta wasn't, they had fun with Marletta being the struggling one for once.

In fact, Jenny did so well that week that Marletta felt more joy than she'd experienced since her eighteenth anniversary cruise with Billy. She looked forward to Will's return and having her whole household be happy for once.

As usual, Marletta's hopes were illusory. Will seemed very introspective when he returned. She thought he'd have lots of great stories to tell her about his trip, but instead he went straight to his room and shut the door.

Over the next week, Will's sour mood worsened. When Marletta asked him what was going on, he said he didn't want to talk about it.

By the following Saturday, Marletta had become very worried about Will. Worried and angry. Dr. Maxwell, the director of LOFTY Dreams, had talked about the retreat being one of the highlights of the program. Yet obviously that hadn't been the case for Will. Something bad had happened, and Dr. Maxwell had allowed it to happen.

She was just considering calling Dr. Maxwell when the phone rang. It was Ingrid. "Marletta, I'm sorry to bother you, but I've been really worried about Michael since he returned from the retreat."

"Well, that's interesting, because I've been worried about Will."

"I finally got Mike to tell me what happened, and I'm outraged. Did you know that the boys almost got into a fight while they were there?"

Marletta felt a pit in her stomach. "No, I didn't know that. What happened?"

"It's all because of that girl. You know, I was skeptical when I saw the students they awarded the scholarships to. I'm not prejudiced, but I just don't think all this diversity and affirmative action is right. It allows people who aren't qualified to receive things they don't deserve. I knew that was true of that girl from the moment I saw her, and especially her mother's behavior, but I thought I'd give it the benefit of the doubt since so many good people are on the LOFTY Dreams board. But now I know my first instinct was right all along."

The pit in Marletta's stomach was growing. This was about Liz. "What happened, Ingrid?"

"Your son apparently got involved with her. Mike tried to warn him about her, but you know how young men can get, especially when a girl is willing to give them sex. Will wouldn't listen and he started to get violent with Mike."

"Will wouldn't—" Marletta objected.

"Oh, no, they didn't actually fight, because one of the counselors intervened. But then, the next day, the girl, Elizabeth, started a fight with Anna and beat her up. I guess she saw Anna as a rival for Will's affections."

Marletta closed her eyes. This was horrible, horrible. "They expelled her from the program, I assume."

"No, and that's why I'm so outraged! They were going to, but Will argued that it wouldn't be fair because the girl needed the scholarship. So everyone else, the kids and staff alike, went along with it. Michael was the only one who tried to stop this travesty by reminding everyone of the program's rules, but no one would listen to him."

Marletta could barely contain her fury. She wasn't sure who she was angriest with: Liz, Will, Dr. Maxell and the LOFTY Dreams program, or Ingrid for taking a perverse pleasure in telling her about her son's bad behavior. She had to end this phone call, right now.

"Thank you for telling me," she managed to get out. "I'll be sure to talk to Will."

"Please do, Marletta. I know Will is a good kid, but boys can be easily influenced by girls like that."

Will was out with some of his friends. He had a midnight curfew, and Marletta waited up for him. When he came in, he grunted a hello and tried to slip by her.

"Get back here and sit down, young man!" she yelled. Will returned to the living room and sat.

"What the HELL is wrong with you? Mrs. Allen called and told me what happened at the retreat. I knew Liz was bad news, but I thought you had more sense than to get involved with her. I did NOT raise you to act like some player from the 'hood, having girls fight over you and losing your head over a piece of ass!"

Will didn't respond. He just sat there, his nostrils flaring.

Marletta went on. "And this whole thing would involve three kids of color! You know how bad that makes us look to people like Mrs. Allen?"

"Did she say that?" Will asked quietly.

"She didn't have to! I could tell what she was thinking. You're supposed to represent us better than that!"

Will stood. "I'm going to bed."

"Sit back down!" Marletta snapped. "You haven't answered for yourself."

"Why should I? You've already decided what happened. Nothing I say will make a difference."

From that day forward, she and Will were at loggerheads. His moodiness continued, even during what should have been some of the happiest times of his life: setting two new records at the state track and field finals, attending the senior prom with Adrienne's daughter Kayla, and his high school graduation.

Marletta fulfilled the promise she'd made to herself to buy Will a car for graduation. She let him pick the vehicle, and he selected a Jeep Cherokee. He was appreciative, but it didn't seem to end his resentment toward her.

She knew the reason: it was still about Liz. That became even more obvious at the LOFTY Dreams end of year picnic in June, which she, Jenny, Lois, Jeff and Chuck also attended. Instead of enjoying the picnic, Will was distracted, continually scanning the park grounds. Looking for Liz, no doubt.

He eventually left the table and returned about fifteen minutes later with Liz at his side. He introduced the girl to everyone, and she and Jenny talked for a while. When Liz left, Will was beaming, the first real smile Marletta had seen on his face in weeks. It was disgusting.

Marletta had had it by this point. Despite her revulsion at public scenes, she'd made one, arguing with Will right there in the park about Liz, until he'd stormed off with Chuck behind him.

Those who remained at the table were silent for several minutes. Finally, Lois spoke. "Are you deliberately trying to drive your son away from you, Marletta?"

"No, but I don't want to see him with that girl!"

"Why not? The first time I met her, I thought she'd be perfect for Will."

"Then you don't know as much about her as I do. You haven't seen how her mother acts. You may not know that she got into a fight with another girl at the retreat over Will."

"Maybe not, but I know that Liz is smart and caring. Plus, I know she won't take any crap from Will."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Marletta challenged.

Lois laughed. "Oh, come on, Marletta. Will is my nephew and I love him dearly, but he can be arrogant at times. I think Liz just might put him in his place."

"She is _not_ our type of people, Lois."

" 'Our type of people'? What do you think this is, Marletta, a Jane Austen novel?"

"I noticed that you were impressed with her sister, too, and look what happened between her and Chuck. Maybe you're not the best judge of these things."

With that, Lois was silent again. Marletta felt bad; she knew she had hurt Lois' feelings. But she was NOT going to let Liz destroy Will's life. Will had been her golden child, the one she didn't have to worry about. Now that was ruined. She'd find a way to stop this; she had to.

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**What's Marletta going to do? Please review!**


	25. Liz: Chapter 25

**CHAPTER 25**

Marletta started with the person she should have called in the first place: Dr. Sheila Maxwell, the executive director of LOFTY Dreams. Dr. Maxwell didn't seem surprised that she was calling with some concerns.

"I don't understand why you selected Elizabeth Bennet for this program," she said. "I don't think she deserves to be there."

"I didn't select Liz; the board of directors did. They're a very distinguished panel that carefully reviews all the applications and subjects finalists to a rigorous interview process. I'm very confident that their selections are sound."

"Don't you think they might make a mistake on occasion?"

"Mrs. Darcy, it's rather unusual for a parent to call me about some other student and not their own child, and it's a little inappropriate. So if you actually have a concern about Will, why don't we discuss that."

"OK, I will. I understand that Will got involved with Liz at the retreat, and that she beat up another girl out of jealousy. I'm very disappointed that you allowed this to go on, and even more so that I had to hear about it from another parent and not from you."

Dr. Maxwell was quiet for several seconds. "Because the girls broke program rules and Will didn't, I made the decision that I needed to talk to the girls' parents, but didn't need to bring you into this. That may have been a mistake on my part, for which I sincerely apologize."

"So it's true, then! You let that girl seduce my son and beat up another student, and then allowed her to stay in the program after all that? How could you allow this?"

"I don't think you realize what actually happened."

"Oh, well, then enlighten me!" Marletta snapped.

"First of all, I met with both girls after the fight, and it was the other girl, not Liz, who started it. Second, if you'd seen Liz afterward, you'd know she was on the losing end of the fight."

"Then she got what she deserved after what she did to Will!"

"Excuse me, but what did she do to Will?"

"My son," Marletta said, her voice shaking, "has not been the same since he returned from that retreat. His head is all messed up because of this girl, and I blame you! I thought these types of relationships between the kids weren't allowed!"

"We can forbid certain types of behavior, but we certainly can't stop young people from being interested in one another."

"I don't approve of her for my son!"

"Then that's a discussion you should be having with Will, and not with me."

"He won't listen to me! He was happy before, and he talked to me, and now he won't! He's changed, I tell you!"

"Mrs. Darcy," Dr. Maxwell said slowly, "Will and I had a conversation after the fight, in which we talked about the fact that he wasn't innocent in the situation. He did a lot of flirting with both girls, which led to some expectations and hurt feelings that led to the fight. What you may be seeing is him starting to face his responsibility in the matter. Which is a good thing. It's painful, but it means he's growing up."

Marletta felt like Dr. Maxwell was deliberately thwarting her at every turn, so she pulled out all the stops. "Look, my son has a bright future. I do NOT want Liz getting pregnant and holding him back!"

"Um, Mrs. Darcy…" Dr. Maxwell seemed to be momentarily at a loss for words. "That is a valid concern. It's always a concern when you're discussing young people and dating, and that's why you need to talk to them about being responsible and making good choices. But that would be true no matter who the girl is. It's a very different issue from whether or not Will should be seeing Liz at all. And again, it's a conversation you should be having with Will, and not with me."

Now Marletta didn't know what to say. This woman seemed to be taking her fears so lightly.

Dr. Maxwell spoke gently. "Mrs. Darcy, I know it's not always easy for parents to talk to their children about dating relationships, especially when they're the opposite gender. Will mentioned having a godfather he's close to. You might want to enlist his support."

Marcus! Why hadn't she thought of that? That was Marletta's second phone call.

She told Marcus what happened, and when she described Will's behavior with Liz at the picnic, she was stunned when he said, "Good for him!"

"What do you mean, 'good for him'?"

"Will talked to me about this girl a few weeks ago. It seems he had said some boneheaded things to her at the retreat and it really hurt her feelings. He was trying to figure out how to make it right. I gave him some suggestions. He must have taken them, because it sounds like it's working out."

"Marcus! I do not want Will seeing this girl!"

"Why not? She must be intelligent and ambitious; otherwise, she wouldn't be in that program with him. Sounds like a good match for Will."

"For one thing, she's from Longbourn City!"

Marcus laughed. "Marletta, I hate to break this to you, but so are you. What if Billy's parents had looked at you that way?"

"That's different! Billy and I were adults! Will is just a kid! He's too young to know better!"

"He's not talking about running off and getting married, is he?"

Marletta winced at the reminder of her hasty wedding with Billy. "Of course not!"

"Then what's the problem?" Marcus asked. "What is he too young for? He's certainly not too young to have a girlfriend."

"Marcus, you don't understand," Marletta said, with some desperation in her voice. "You haven't seen how moody Will's been the past two months."

"He's in love for the first time. You remember what it was like when you were that age, and how intense everything is."

_No, I don't,_ Marletta thought. _I was never that age._

"Hey, Marletta, a piece of advice? Will is eighteen. It's time for you to let go."

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**Bummer! No one wants to help Marletta on her quest to break up Will and Liz. Instead, they seem to think she's a little crazy. What do you think?**


	26. Liz: Chapter 26

**CHAPTER 26**

Suck it up. That's what Marletta had had to do. NO ONE took her concerns seriously, even after Liz's younger sister was arrested for selling drugs with George, of all people. You'd think that at that point Marcus, Susan, Jeff, Lois—the very people who knew what George was like and what he was capable of—would realize how dangerous Liz was to Will, being from a family that would get involved with George in any way. Marcus even had the nerve to defend the sister in court! And the rest of them continued to be blind to the truth and to sing Liz's praises.

The worst part was that Will had threatened her. Marletta finally took matters into her own hands and confronted Liz, demanding that she stay away from her son. The obstinate, headstrong girl flat-out refused and walked away from her!

When Will found out, he was livid, not at Liz and her rude behavior, but at Marletta. His own mother! He'd told her that if she ever did anything like that again, or anything at all to hurt Liz, he'd never speak to her again.

Marletta suspected that if it weren't for Jenny, Will would have already made good on that promise. He lived on campus and spent most of his time at school or with Liz. However, he tried to come home at least two weekends a month to spend time with his sister. Since he usually brought Liz with him, Marletta had to suck it up and try to be polite to the girl.

One Saturday in January of Will's freshman year, he and Liz had come over to celebrate Jenny's seventeenth birthday. It started snowing shortly after they arrived. A few hours later, the snow was coming down heavily and the roads were impassable. Liz borrowed some nightclothes from Jenny and slept in what had been George's room, but was now the guest room.

In the morning, Marletta was on her way to the kitchen for breakfast when she stopped suddenly. Will and Liz were standing in the living room, holding each other closely with their arms around one another's waists. They were talking and laughing softly, with looks of adoration on both their faces. It was such a sweet and tender picture that Marletta felt her heart softening toward Liz.

But she didn't want her heart to soften. Marletta walked toward them and cleared her throat, and the couple quickly separated.

Later that morning, when Liz was taking a shower, Marletta pulled Will aside. "That was a cozy pose I found you in this morning. Are you sleeping with her?"

"That's none of your business," Will replied sharply. "Liz and I are both adults and we're not stupid. That's all you need to know."

"Will, I'm just looking out for your future. You should be glad—"

Will interrupted her. "Stop it, just stop it! I know what you're trying to do, Mom, and I'm warning you, don't go there."

"Oh, really? What am I trying to do?"

Will sighed. "Mom, I know that Liz isn't who you would have chosen for me, but she's the woman I love. And she's good for me. Do you know how depressed I was before she came into my life?"

Marletta felt the blood drain from her face. "I didn't know you were depressed, Will," she said softly.

Will looked down at the floor. "I thought you had enough to worry about with Jenny. I didn't want you to have to worry about me, too." He looked back up at Marletta. "The point is, Liz makes me very happy. At the very least, I hope you'd be happy for me."

Will walked out of the room, leaving Marletta sitting there with a piercing ache in her breast. She realized that her reaction to Will and Liz that morning was partly because it made her conscious of how much she missed Billy and having someone to hold her and talk to her that way. She recognized also that her son was now a man, and a mature one at that, for someone who was not yet nineteen. He would never again be her little boy. In a year and a half, her daughter would also be leaving home, and Marletta would be all alone.

In that moment, she had a flash of stark self-awareness, realizing that her misery was not the fault of Billy, George, Liz or anyone else. Rather, she was the author of her own unhappiness. Later in her life, she would reflect that had she allowed herself to just accept and live with her pain, she might have started the journey to becoming a better human being a lot sooner. Instead, she did what she always did when pain became unbearable: she escaped. In her younger years, her escape method of choice had been fantasy; now it was martyrdom and acrimony.

And so, the hatred Marletta felt toward Liz continued. It took on an ever greater intensity the following year, as Jenny's departure for college became imminent.

Jenny had chosen a West Coast college that specialized in creative writing and the performing arts. She wasn't confident that she'd be accepted given her grades, so her backup plan was to enroll at a junior college about a half hour from her chosen school, and transfer later. Either way, she'd end up thousands of miles from home.

Marletta had begged Jenny to pick someplace closer, telling her that it wouldn't be healthy for her to be so far from home. "No, it'll be very healthy for me," Jenny retorted. "What I need is for you to stop controlling my life."

The fall brought a little gift for Marletta, however. Will and Liz seemed to be having some strife. Liz accompanied him less often on his visits home. Inquiries about how Liz was doing weren't met with Will's usual bright smile at her name. When Marletta suggested the two-week trip to the Caribbean over Christmas break, it thus served a dual purpose. First, it would be a final family vacation before Jenny's graduation. Second, it was a chance to separate Will and Liz at a time when their bond was weakening.

Marletta knew that there was something sick about the way she followed Will around during the trip with her digital camera, like a stalking _paparazzo_. She tried assuaging her guilt by telling herself that Will was doing his best to cooperate. His roving eye, which had stopped when it landed on Liz, had returned.

Sharing the photos later with Liz was a no-brainer to her. Marletta had so deceived herself by this point that she thought Will would blame Liz for the breakup and for her unwillingness to forgive him. But instead, he again blamed Marletta. He stormed out of the house on a cold January afternoon, telling her that she was no longer his mother.

The next few months were one more visit to hell in a lifetime of fiery forays, from Melvin's abuse to the loss of her baby, from her affair with Gavin to Billy's death and the crushing of Jenny's innocence and spirit. Marletta had lost her will to fight. She started drinking regularly, something that she'd sworn as a child that she'd never do. It was a good thing she was no longer working, because she surely would have lost her job otherwise.

Jenny stopped talking to her and became a stranger in the house. Marcus, Susan and her in-laws came by to check on Jenny, or had her stay over their homes every weekend and sometimes during the week as well. They no longer tried to cheer Marletta up, however. Well, Susan did try, but Marletta wasn't responsive. As for the rest of them, Marletta guessed that their patience had worn thin and to hell with her.

The most devastating day was in mid-February, Will's twentieth birthday. She remembered how the baby she hadn't wanted had become the child and then the young man who she adored. Now she had lost him forever. Marletta sobbed for hours.

One month later, she sat in the living room, staring into space. Marletta was unwashed, her hair and clothes unkempt, and only the cleaning woman's twice weekly visits prevented the house from being in the same condition. Marletta assumed that Jenny had found her checkbook and was paying the bills.

The doorbell rang. She ignored it. It rang again, and then a third time. Marletta finally pulled herself up out of the chair and shuffled to the front door. She looked through the door's window.

Will was standing there.

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**Marletta's in a very, **_**very**_** bad place right now, but she's been here before. There was another point in her life in which she hit rock bottom and did something despicable, and another man named William Darcy forgave her. It changed her life for the better. Maybe it will again. What do you think? Please comment!**


	27. Marletta: Chapter 27

**Part VII:MARLETTA**

**CHAPTER 27: JULY, PRESENT DAY**

Will stopped by to see her on a Saturday afternoon, following practice for the middle school track team that he coached on the weekends. Her son, now twenty-eight and an attorney with Marcus' firm, had been stopping by spontaneously more often in the past year.

He seemed really light-hearted. Marletta didn't want to spoil his good mood by telling him about the blood in her urine, or the intense pains in her side, or that she had an appointment with her oncologist on the following Thursday.

"How are things with Diane?" she asked about his current girlfriend, wondering if she were the source of his buoyancy.

"Pretty good," he said, but offered nothing more.

"Did you go to Chuck's cookout last week?"

"Yes." Bingo. A huge smile spread across Will's face.

Sometimes when Will smiled, he reminded her so much of his father that it brought tears to her eyes.

And this smile—this was one she hadn't seen in a long time. But it was one that years earlier, he had almost always worn when Liz was around, or even at the mention of her name.

She knew Liz was back in town, after spending several years overseas. Her nephew Chuck had been married for six years to Liz's sister Janelle. Chuck had called Marletta to invite her to the cookout he and Janelle were holding to welcome Liz home. Marletta told him she wouldn't be able to make it. She hadn't been busy, but she didn't think Liz would want to see her.

So Will had seen Liz, and apparently she still had the same effect on him, all these years later.

"How is Liz?" she asked.

More of that smile. "She's doing great. She looks really good, and seems to be happy. She found a job already."

"That's good to hear. Are you going to see her again?"

Will looked surprised at Marletta's question. "I saw her today."

No wonder he was so happy. "Today?" Marletta tried to keep her voice casual.

"Yeah, I asked her to help out with track practice, and she came. The kids liked her so much, they asked her to come back, and she said she would."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yes, it is."

Marletta almost laughed out loud. She and her son were both tiptoeing around the implications of what he was saying.

The following Thursday she had her oncology appointment, and a week later she met with her doctor to discuss the test results. _Prepare for the end,_ he said. How did she even begin to do that? "Get ready to meet your Maker," was an expression she'd often heard. Well, if there was a Maker, she doubted she'd be facing a warm welcome. She was looking at pain and suffering followed by who knows what after that. Just another nightmare in the long string of nightmares that had been her life.

Could she fight this? Could she overcome this, as she had so many things in the past? The problem was, she didn't want to fight anymore. What would it be like to just accept whatever was coming her way?

She googled, "Preparing for death" and found information about hospice programs. She wrote down the phone number of a local program and decided to call them tomorrow.

She went to the kitchen to prepare herself a cup of tea. Sitting at the table to drink it, she thought back on her life, and how much pain she'd already been through, with her family, Billy, her children, George…

Her children. That's what hurt the most. She'd have to leave them behind. She'd never be able to see them get married or have children of their own. She brushed tears away from her eyes. She just wanted to know that Will and Jenny would be happy after she was gone. That's all she wanted now.

Will's forgiveness of Marletta for her part in the breakup with Liz, like his father's forgiveness before him, had given Marletta a sense of hope. She was able to face the world again, this time with a determination to no longer alienate everyone around her. Not long after Will had come back home, Marletta made the decision to stay out of her children's lives unless they invited her in. Being such a control freak, she was shocked that the results were better than she could have hoped. They actually seemed to want to share their lives with her once she was no longer telling them what to do.

She thought about how happy Will had seemed last week after seeing Liz. Liz always did bring him a lot of joy. Why had she been so opposed to that? Looking back at herself, Marletta wondered whether or not she had been a crazy woman. On one of the darkest nights of her marriage, she remembered Billy telling her that his happiest moments were with her. Why wouldn't she want her son to have that kind of joy with someone? Why on earth had she stood in the way? And why had she tried so hard to stand in the way of Jenny finding her own path to happiness?

Somewhere as a child, the lack of love, the neglect and the pain imprinted on her brain so that she couldn't see all the good things she had had. Instead, she'd selfishly tried to make everyone else around her as miserable as she was.

But now, as she thought about it, she realized that in Susan, she'd had a best friend for fifty years, a woman who supported her unconditionally and met life with good humor, even though her dreams for a family of her own were never realized.

Meanwhile, Marletta, who hadn't wanted marriage or motherhood, had been blessed with a family anyway. She had spent so many years thinking about what she'd lost with Billy's death that she had never appreciated what she had had. She had had eighteen years of deep love with one of the sweetest, kindest, most forgiving men on the planet. He gave her two beautiful children who had great characters and who still called her and visited her. They still wanted a relationship with her even after all she'd done to them.

There were many things she needed to make right, and maybe there was still time. She wanted to let Susan know everything—all the secrets she'd hidden for so many years. Susan deserved that much. But first, she had to let her children know what her doctor had said. Then, she'd release them from all her pressures and expectations, and tell them to go after all the happiness in life they could beg, borrow or steal. She hoped that maybe then, the end of their lives would be different from the end of hers.

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**There are two more chapters after this, plus the epilogue. Any comments? It really helps writers to know what their readers are thinking!**


	28. Marletta: Chapter 28

**CHAPTER 28**

"Your visitor is here," said Meg, a woman from the hospice program who regularly visited Marletta. "Shall I send her in?"

"Yes, please," Marletta said. "And, Meg, will you stay with me?" Jenny, who had taken a leave of absence from her job in order to care for her mother, was out to lunch with a friend. Marletta didn't want to meet with Janine alone.

"You know I will."

Meg returned to the living room-converted-to-bedroom a minute later with Janine Nixon, a private investigator who Marcus had referred to Marletta. Meg helped Marletta to sit up in bed, propping up some pillows behind her. She pulled a chair over to the bed for Janine to sit in.

"How are you today?" Janine asked.

Marletta smiled weakly. "I have better days than others. Today is a good day. I've been able to get up and walk around a little."

"I'm glad," Janine said, opening a briefcase and pulling out a folder. "However, I have mostly bad news. Are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Yes. That's why I asked Meg to stay with me. That's okay, isn't it?"

"Of course."

Janine opened the folder. "The first thing is, I couldn't find out anything about the whereabouts of George Wickham. About a decade ago, he was sentenced to prison for possession and driving under the influence. He was released three years' later, and from there he just disappears. He may have left the state, or … who knows."

Marletta nodded, thinking briefly of the skinny kid with the charming smile who'd come into their home and how her heart had gone out to him. She wished things had turned out differently, but they'd done everything they could.

"Next is Maisy Cole," Janine went on. "She died twenty-three years ago of cirrhosis of the liver."

Twenty-three years ago. The children were small and Billy had still been alive. She should have made sure that her mother met her husband and children, at least once. Now it was too late.

Janine watched as Marletta wiped her eyes. "Should I go on?"

Marletta nodded.

"Mason Cole died of AIDS in prison fifteen years ago. And Melvin Cole was shot and killed eight years ago."

The outcomes of her brothers' lives didn't surprise her, but it was painful to hear nonetheless.

"I do have one piece of good news for you. I located Manette Cole. She still lives in Longbourn City. I have a working phone number for her."

Janine handed Marletta a piece of paper. She took it and looked at it for a long time. Her sister. Her sister was still alive at age seventy-one.

"I have a check ready for you," she said quietly. She nodded to Meg, who handed the check to Janine.

Janine took the check and placed it in the pocket of her jacket. "I'm truly sorry, Marletta, that most of this was bad news. Do you want me to continue to search for George?"

Marletta shook her head. "I don't mean to be rude, but can you leave now?"

Janine placed the folder on the end table next to the bed. "I understand."

After Janine left, Meg asked if Marletta wanted to talk.

"No, I want to call my sister while I still feel up to it."

"Do you want me to stay for that, too?"

"Yes, please."

She dialed the number. "Hello?" said a raspy voice.

"Is this Manette Cole?"

"Yeah, who's this?"

"This is Marletta."

Silence for several seconds. "Marletta? My little sister Marletta?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Naw, can't be. I thought she was dead or something. If you're Marletta, what'd I used to call you, and what'd you used to call me?"

"You called me Cat, and I called you Mimi."

"I'll be damned, Marletta! Where you been? It's been, what, forty something years?"

"That's about right."

"What, you moved to another state or something?"

"Um, no. I live in Pemberley."

"Pemberley? Damn. You must have some money. You know, I could use some."

Marletta stiffened, and then remembered that she had thought to herself that she would help her family financially if she could. "We can talk about that."

"So how you been? You gonna come see me?"

"I'm not sure I can. I've been pretty sick."

"Yeah, me too. Emphysema. Plus, I have some arthritis."

"How are your kids?"

"Well, you know, all right. Darnell and Maisy are kind of out there. Lashawn's doing real good, though."

"How so?"

"She was always really into the books, like you and Mason. She went to college and everything. She's a nurse at Meryton Central Hospital."

"That's great. Do you have any grandkids?"

"Yeah, Darnell has one, Maisy's got two and Lashawn's got three. And then I got two great-grandkids. What about you?"

"I have two children, a son and a daughter. No grandkids yet."

They talked about ten minutes longer, until Marletta was too worn out to continue. She had already formulated a plan, however.

The next morning, Marletta talked to Jenny as she was bringing her breakfast. Jenny, a writer for a woman's magazine in Colorado, had been home for about a week and would stay indefinitely to care for Marletta.

Grateful that she was feeling strong that morning, Marletta gazed at her twenty-six year old daughter. Tall, slender and stylish, Jenny had an elegant beauty that belied her athleticism. Jenny had been absolutely right that moving away from home was the best thing for her, and Marletta was glad that her daughter's strong will had prevailed.

Jenny had attended college in the mountains where the exposure to nature lifted her spirits in a way that bland suburbia never could, and her creativity had flourished there. She also found a really good therapist who worked with her throughout college, and helped to connect her with professional colleagues when Jenny moved on. She hadn't struggled with a major depressive episode in years.

After accepting a bowl of cream of wheat from her daughter, Marletta reached for her hand. "I'm so sorry," she said.

"For what?"

"For everything." There was no need to elaborate. She and Jenny both knew what she meant.

"It's not your fault, Mom."

"Yes, it is. I should have protected you better. I should have tried harder to understand you."

Jenny shook her head. "Mom… shit happens. I know it's a bumper sticker, but it's true." She grinned. "See what I've learned in twelve years of therapy?"

Marletta couldn't smile. She wanted to cry instead.

Jenny squeezed her hand. "I need to ask you something. One of my counselors once said that maybe part of the reason you reacted the way you did to me was because you had been through something similar. Is that true?"

Marletta stared into space for a moment, and then nodded.

Jenny squeezed her hand harder and looked at her with such compassion that the tears Marletta had been holding back sprung forth from her eyes. It was the same look that Susan had given her—as though she were a little girl in need of nurturing rather than the evil woman Marletta had for so long thought herself to be.

"I never told anyone about it until recently, not even your father," she said to Jenny. "I just told Susan. If you want to know more, you can ask her. She'll be able to talk about it better than I can."

Jenny bent down and hugged Marletta gently. "I really love you, Mom."

"I really love you, too, honey." Her tears were now freely flowing. Marletta let go of Jenny to wipe her eyes and blow her nose. "Listen, there's something I want you to do for me today."

"Sure."

"There's a woman named Lashawn Howard who's a nurse at Meryton Central. I'd like you to go by and visit her."

"Is she someone who's going to be helping with your care?"

"No," Marletta replied, knowing she was about to open a door to a whole lot of questions. "She's your cousin."

That evening, Jenny returned with an attractive woman of about fifty, who had short hair, honey brown skin and glasses. From her conversation with Manette, Marletta knew that the woman had been married twice, the first time to a "real jerk," as Manette put it, but currently to a very good man. She had a son in his twenties by her first marriage, and a daughter and son, ages 16 and 13, with her second husband.

"Lashawn, this is my mother," Jenny said.

Lashawn said a brief hello and stood there, warily.

Marletta could barely speak. How old had Lashawn been when she last saw her—four, maybe? She finally said, "Do you remember me?"

"No. I mean, I knew Mom had a sister. She talked about you sometimes. But I guess I was too young to remember you myself."

Marletta smiled a little. "I took care of you when you were a baby. Your mom and I had a long conversation yesterday."

"Jenny told me."

"I know that your mother's not well and I was hoping that I could help her out a little bit."

"It's a little late for that, don't you think?"

Marletta was taken aback. "I would think that it would never be too late."

"You think you can disappear for forty-five years, and then appear on our doorstep as though nothing had happened? You've been living in Pemberley all this time and could have helped my mother out all along. She could have died during the time that you waited."

Marletta's first reaction was to get defensive. She wanted to scream about Manette allowing her to be a punching bag for Melvin, and then abandoning her to the streets when she got pregnant. But that wasn't Lashawn's fault.

"I had very good reasons for leaving when I did. It was about survival and sanity for me at that point. But you're right, there came a time when I was in a better place in life, and I could have contacted your mother then. I didn't need to wait this long."

"Is that all? I have dinner and my family waiting for me."

Marletta took a deep breath, again trying to control her anger. "No, that's not all. If I can't do something for your mother, then I'd like you to do something for me."

Curiosity got the better of Lashawn's desire to leave. "What could you want from me that you don't already have?"

"I want you take a look at my daughter Jennifer next to you."

Lashawn looked at Jenny.

"I have a son, too. His name is William and he's twenty-eight. There are some pictures of him on the mantle." Marletta pointed and noticed Lashawn's eyes move again.

"Whatever happened between your mother and me is not their fault. It happened long before they were born. Will and Jenny have never known anyone from my side of the family. Take the time to get to know them, and to let them know you. Give them that chance. That's all I want."

Lashawn was quiet for several minutes. Finally, she said, "I'll think about it."


	29. Marletta: Chapter 29 & Epilogue

**CHAPTER 29**

Marletta was praying. A lot. She had never really been a praying woman, because too many of her childhood cries to heaven had gone unanswered.

But now she was desperate. The encounter with Lashawn hadn't made her very confident that Liz would respond any better. As she'd told Lashawn, there were good reasons for her falling-out with Manette. There were no good reasons for what she'd done to Liz. Liz hadn't deserved any of it.

Marletta was begging God to forgive her, and to help her say the right words in the letter she was writing. She really should try to speak to Liz or to see her face to face, but she was afraid that her courage would fail her. She had started the letter several times, and then crumpled the paper as tears rolled down her cheeks. She ignored the ringing of the phone as she struggled with the words.

She asked for Liz's forgiveness in the letter, knowing as she wrote it that she didn't deserve it. Then she realized that she should write what she really wanted from Liz: for her to forgive Will and become a part of his life again.

She almost laughed as she wrote that request. Even now, she was reaching for too much. But no, she'd let the words stand as she'd written them. She could have a final dream.

When she finished the letter, she decided to check the voice mail to see who had called. To her surprise, it was Lashawn. She was even more astonished when the message began with, "Aunt Marletta."

"Aunt Marletta, it's Lashawn. I've been thinking about what you said. You're right, I should try to get to know Jenny and Will. I talked to my husband about it, and he said we should have them over for dinner one night. I'll call again to see what we can arrange."

At sixty-two years old, had she just had an answer to a prayer for the first time in her life? She caught her breath as her reflections of the past several weeks brought her to a startling conclusion. Her entire life, she had created a world of images and illusions for herself, to protect herself from the pain of reality. Yet in doing so, she hadn't stopped the pain. Instead, she had deprived herself of fully enjoying the wonders and blessings of life. Pain and suffering were a part of life, but so were love and joy and faith. They weren't illusory. She had had that, and not just for the eighteen years she was with Billy. She thought about all the people who had loved her, despite the walls she erected around herself: Susan's family, Billy's parents, Jeff and Lois and their children, Marcus, Adrienne and Jim Hawthorne. And then there were her precious relationships with Billy, Susan, and her wonderful, amazing children.

Marletta thought of a second letter she needed to write, this time to her son. This one would be short. She wrote:

_My dearest Will, _

_In this envelope is something that your father gave me thirty-one years ago, and now I pass it on to you. You'll know what to do with it._

_Love,_

_Mom _

After she finished the letter, she struggled to stand and walk over to her jewelry box, which she searched through until she found her engagement ring.

She sat back down and held the ring, allowing herself to really remember Billy, and not run away from the ache of missing him. She soon realized that her memories of him brought her incredible joy, even amidst the sadness. Billy had taught her what love was—what it meant to stand by someone through good times and bad, and how to allow herself to be loved in return. The ring wasn't just a memory of the past, but a present-day representation of his love living on in her. If she were right about Will's feelings for Liz—and she thought she was—and if her letter to Liz made a difference, then this ring would become a symbol of the future, too. She wanted her children to have what she had had with Billy, and to cherish and hold on to that love with every fiber of their beings.

She held the ring in her palm and slowly drew it to her lips. As she kissed it, she felt as though she was finally saying goodbye to her husband, and yet somehow, also greeting him anew. "I'll always love you, Billy," she said. Then she carefully placed the ring and the letter to her son in an envelope and sealed it.

**EPILOGUE**

On the day of Marletta's funeral, Lois and Jeff opened their home to the mourners. Per Marletta's request, the day became one of celebration when Will proposed to Liz, placing his mother's engagement ring on her finger. Will and Jenny also made a special announcement: they were planning to start a charitable foundation in memory of their parents.

Manette, Lashawn and Lashawn's family were among the mourners. Manette and Lashawn had visited Marletta several times during the last few weeks of her life.

Susan and Marcus stayed behind after the guests left to help Lois and Jeff clean up. When they were finished, Marcus asked Susan if she would like to get coffee with him. She agreed.

After they sat down at the coffee shop, Marcus asked how Susan was doing. "I know what it's like to lose a best friend," he said.

Susan nodded. "We've been friends for fifty years, and it's hard to believe she's gone. But I have to say this, she died well."

Marcus smiled. "She did. She decided she wasn't going to go out with any regrets. And it's been making me think a lot about my own life."

"In what way?"

"About not waiting until I get a death sentence to deal with the regrets of my own life."

Susan stirred her coffee, listening intently.

"What did you think of Will's proposal?

Susan grinned. "I absolutely loved it! I'm so excited for Will."

"Me, too, but I also kept thinking, 'Wow! Here's my godson, who I knew as a baby, and now he's getting married.' Meanwhile, I'm still single."

Susan stopped stirring and started staring.

Marcus reached for her hand. "Susan, I'm tired of regrets. I've been a fool for thirty years. I was wondering if you'd give an old man a second chance and agree to be my wife."

She continued to stare at him, thunderstruck.

After a few minutes, Marcus used a napkin to wipe the sweat from his forehead. "Uh, Susan? You're scaring me here. I've never seen you speechless. At least tell me what you're thinking, even if it's no."

Susan finally found her voice. "I was thinking about how Billy and Marletta went from engaged to married in four weeks. I was wondering if we could do it faster."

Marcus started laughing. "Hell, yeah, we can! And then I'm going to spend the rest of my life making you the happiest woman on earth."

Susan's eyes sparkled. "You better, because you have thirty years to make up for!"

In that moment somewhere, Billy and Marletta were smiling.

THE END

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**It would mean a lot to me to read what you thought of this story! Please review!**

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